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cally Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:33 PM
Original message
Parenting and skanky outfits
I watched too many flamefests where too many told us how to parent. It always makes me laugh. I have teens and I absolutely think too many of the clothes are skanky and too many have disgusting messages. I'm a liberal parent with no rules and I laugh when others tell me to impose them. I've always wondered how I imposed my rules since I don't have them. Today, I found out.

My 16 year old walked in with jeans with rips close to showing her butt. I, without thinking, mentioned that I I don't think those are her jeans. They were a friends and I said they looked kind of skanky. Daughter tells me that she's over it and she has shorts under the jeans. By the time she left, she had changed. Score one for parenting.

More often I see my kids echoing my values. They won't wear brand names, ever. They almost won't wear messages on their shirts. They are pretty careful about their clothes. I'm not sure how I got through this, but I did.



I'm posting this because we need to discuss boundaries. I hate the positions of too many posters who say they will impose rules on their kids. It's just not that easy.
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:36 PM
Response to Original message
1. -----
:popcorn:
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joneschick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
2. isn't parenting fun?
I have 3 teenage daughters. They still have way too many clothes, but labels are unimportant and commercial messages are not on the radar. Daughter #1 is the biggest shopper, and she always hits the markdown racks first. She's got a calculater running in her head and if I tell her that we have a $75 limit she will find the most clothes *that fit* and come in under budget. and then, 6 months from now when she's tired of them, they go to ebay! and that money goes back into the clothing budget.
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cally Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. They push all my buttons
and they know it. Last night my youngest invited one boy over to help with physics and then another one showed up. I listen to the conversation and my very intelligent daughter sounds like an idiot. I called her on it but I very much expected that all of us have moved beyond all of this.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
3. Judging from that example, you are able to use
persuasive methods effectively.

The two undesirable extremes are the Captain Von Trapp method of regimenting the kids and the flaky "I just can't handle the little brats!" method of giving the kids NO input on their behavior until you can't stand it anymore.
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:44 PM
Response to Original message
4. Well, it's certainly your perogative to get upset to the point of "hating"
the opinions of posters who disagree with your perspective, but...is it really worth it, getting all worked up about something that is essentially a personal decision? :shrug:

You've obviously discovered a way of parenting that works for you. I commend you. I'm sure you're doing the best you absolutely can. :toast: Parenting is tough, I know. I've got two kids of my own and my oldest is just entering the teenage years.

Who the hell cares about what anyone else thinks? No offense meant, but really, why get attached to other people's opinions of what is essentially NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS??

You go, girl. :applause:
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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
6. Thank god I have a boy..
...who's almost 3.

(I know, I know...)
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cally Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. I think it's harder with a boy
I watch this very cute kid come over who's interested in my daughter. It's harder for him than for her.
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Yikes, I have one of each!
:scared: and my son is turning 13 in a couple o' weeks....so far, he doesn't seem too into the girl thang yet, but I know this will change.

:D
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
9. I'm hugely into rules
but I know when to break them, and I know how to pick my battles. Today for example, my fifteen-year old in the corset top, short miniskirt, knee socks and pumps asked me if she could wear her six-inch silver heels to school tomorrow. I ignored today's outfit but said absolutely not to the silver heels. P.S. she wore a sweater over the corset top. Otherwise she's be locked in her closet right now. Yes, parenting is tricky business.
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