Got more info on my friend's suicide today

[skygazer]

Some of you may remember, I posted about a friend who shot herself last week. It seems she lived across the street from a self-appointed vigilate who was sure that all kinds of illegal activities were going on in the neighborhood. He'd been in the paper regularly because he was videotaping his neighbors all the time, day and night - their guests, their comings and goings, you name it.

He'd been checked out by the police when neighbors complained but there was nothing they could do as he was breaking no laws. They also looked at the videotapes he gave them and found no evidence of criminal activity whatsoever.

My friend, who suffered from depression anyway, was driven to distraction about this - apparently, he'd decided her place was a hotbed of criminal activity which is just absurd. She'd spoken to the cops who were sympathetic but couldn't do anything, and to the town manager and the selectboard. No one could do anything.

The day she died, she'd tried and failed to get some sort of recourse from this harassment once again. Within hours, she was dead.

I'm just sick about this. What a hideous thing to happen to a good but troubled person.

[Patiod]

1. So sorry for your loss, skygazer

Sounds like you have things in perspective, though.

I'll never forget a rabbi at the funeral of a friend of mine, saying we can never know what is in someone else's heart, so we can never blame ourselves or say "we should have known" when someone kills herself, because no one can know.

[skygazer]

2. I was heartbroken but not surprised to hear of her action

She was a lifelong depressive and though she'd sought therapy and took meds, she never really found any peace. She never got over her mother's suicide (also by gunshot) and she'd become a mother herself as a teenager. She just had a hard life and though I think what the neighbor was doing was wrong and intrusive, I don't necessarily blame him for her death. Alone, that would probably not have set her off - combined with all the other stresses in her life, it was the last straw.

Thanks for your kind words.

[Haole Girl]

3. Wow, that's just weird...

...and you probably know where my suspicious mind is going next.....
are they absolutely, positively, 100% sure it was a suicide? Just checking.

[skygazer]

6. Don't think I didn't think of it

But in my heart, I'm pretty sure it was. As long as I've known her, I've known that was a possibility and it's not surprising that she used a gun - that's what her own mother did and consciously or unconsciously, I think she's spent a lifetime following in her mother's footsteps. She even had an affair with a guy her mother lived with - strange indeed.

But she was a sweet, loving, beautiful person nonetheless. I hope she's found some peace.

[BarenakedLady]

4. That is so sad.

I'm so sorry you lost your friend.

[Shine]

5. I'm so sorry, skygazer.

sounds like she was deeply troubled, indeed.

May her soul be at Peace now....


and I wish YOU Peace, as well, my friend. We all have our own karmic dances....

[skygazer]

7. Very true

Thanks Shine. On Thursday, the day after I found out, I came home from work and put on Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here. She and I listened to a lot of Floyd and it seemed appropriate. I lit candles and listened to music and cried - essentially, I had my own little funeral for her and I felt a lot more at peace afterward. I sincerely hope she's found peace too.