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70 ways to tell when you've been online too long

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begin_within Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 04:01 PM
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70 ways to tell when you've been online too long
1. Tech Support calls YOU for help.

2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL.

3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. You have called out someones screen name while making love to
your significant other.

5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so we can hang out.

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. Youve even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to-
face.

8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.

9. You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone
know youre going to be away.

10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.

11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or
complete sentences.

12. You have met over 100 AOLers.

13. You begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing.

14. When someone says What did you say? you reply Scroll up!

15. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the
night when your spouse is asleep.

16. You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people wont know
youre on-line again.

17. You know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do
your own spouses.

18. You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line & when they
complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.

19. You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to
your own.

20. You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from
partying too much than the truth (online all night).

21. You change your screen names so much that you have to look at your
own profile to see who you are.

22. Your kids are standing at your side saying, Mommy, please come and
cook dinner and you would rather type another LOL.

23. You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at
the same time.

24. You wont work at a job that doesnt have a modem involved.

25. Your dog leaves you.

26. You have to ask what year it is.

27. You write a letter like this.. dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well I gotta
go bbl!

28. You name your pets after people you talk to.

29. You smile sideways

30. You sign on & immediately get 10 IMs from people who have you on
their buddy list.

31. You look at an annoying person off-line & wish you had your ignore
button handy.

32. You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer.

33. Your significant other kisses your neck while youre chatting & you
think uh oh cyber sex perv.

34. You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more
than a few hours.

35. You use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one he he he).

36. You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.

37. Your buddy list has over 100 people on it.

38. Your worse comeback to a bully is Ill slap ya w/a rubber chicken!

39. You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online
before you have your first cup of coffee.

40. You have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake.

41. You have your computer set so it goes directly into AOLs welcome
screen.

42. You dont know where the time has gone.

43. You end sentences with 3 (or more) periods while writing letters by
hand.

44. You get up at 2am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer
instead.

45. You dont even notice anymore when someone has a typo.

46. You enter a room & 23 people greet you w/((hugs)) or **kisses**.

47. You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and
lemme.

48. Your voicemail/answering machine message is BRB, leave your s/n &
I will TTYL.

49. You type faster than you think.

50. You got your psychiatrist addicted to AOL too & are now undergoing
therapy in private rooms instead of at his office.

51. You want to be buried with your computer when it dies or vice versa.

52. You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.

53. You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up
your TV screen at the end of a movie.

54. People say, If it werent for your super reflexes in your eyes &
fingers, you would have been classified as a vegetable!

55. You dream in text.

56. Being called a Newbie is a MAJOR insult.

57. There is absolutely no interesting chat in any room & youre really
bored.

58. You dont want to leave in case you miss something.

59. You double click your TV remote.

60. You can now type over 70wpm.

61. You think about starting a 12-step recovery group for AOL junkies.

62. You are on the phone a minute & need to do something else &
say BRB or BBL.

63. You check your Email and forget you have real mail aka snail mail.

64. You go into withdrawals during dinner.

65. You spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to
everyone in a room.

66. You stop speaking in full sentences.

67. You have gone into an unstaffed Tech Support room & ended
up giving tech support to other AOLers.

68. You have to be pried from your computer by the Jaws of Life.

69. You know what a snert is.

70. You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted
to check your mail & while there you just wanted to see who was
online.
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