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I want to be a hetero, and yet I am bi; I challenge all DU heteros...

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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 02:03 PM
Original message
I want to be a hetero, and yet I am bi; I challenge all DU heteros...
to compile a proper list of 'why'(s) I should make up my mind and stay on the right side of the bench and not cross back over or remain sitting on top of it...

I'm waiting :D

Those on the left side, chime in too. Why should I be on your side? :D
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 02:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. do you want to be a benchwarmer for the rest of your life or
do you want to see some action??


get out there and play dammit, it don't matter whose side your own :P
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. My persona is typically a reactive one.
Which in itself is erroneous; the reactive rarely "get anywhere".

And there's more to life than playing. There is a connection, regardless of how people try to bury those feelings. And too many wish to bury those feelings; I would rather express them. Emotional intimacy mated to the physical, it is not playing nor do I want to treat it as such. For I have tried it that way, it is empty, and I've outgrown the concept. I'm not sure I was ever capable; I have always looked for more than 'playing' and was always shunned.

What's wrong with life being special and having a special person in it, to show specialness towards? People are not tiddley-winks, for playing and tossing afterwads.
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 05:33 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. silly toad...of course you are special and I want for you to be
with someone special. I am just saying that special people come in all sexes. And by playing I mean ...to put yourself out there...so to speak. Of course I don't want you to play "games" :puke: nor do I want anyone playing games with you. I would hate to have to hurt somebody for hurting my toad :P


I am just saying to be open to the possibility...even as scared as I am...I put myself out there and things are going nicely...


it helps to find someone that is calm and "unruffled" cos I think you and I might be a like in a lot of ways...and we are perhaps the "excitable" type.


You need yin/yang...comprehend?


I love ya Toad and only want the best for you :* :hug:
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 02:30 PM
Response to Original message
3. Fuck that. Stay the way you are.
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 05:38 PM
Response to Original message
5. dude, so you're already bi, you've got the best of both worlds...
Edited on Mon Oct-09-06 05:39 PM by bridgit
quit trying to grub on everything else inbetween x( just kidding :hi:
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Well, I usually get turned down by people on both aisles.
:rofl:
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 06:58 PM
Response to Original message
6. If you want to try dating women, go for it
It might be best to go for someone who is tolerant and wouldn't freak out if you were honest about your sexual past and sexual feelings. There are actually some women who prefer bi guys, for whatever reason. After you have had a long term relationship or dated several women short term, you might have a better idea of whether you are more gay, hetero, or bi than you previously thought.
I am not saying that everyone has to date members of both genders to know what their sexual orientation is. It is something that might help questioning people though.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. I prefer being honest.
That's why most women won't go out with me.

Their loss.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:01 PM
Response to Original message
9. Challenge, my ass. Why should I "compile a proper list" of how you
should conduct your life?

Live your life as you see fit; it's not for me to judge.

Redstone
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:01 PM
Response to Original message
10. Boobs, dude.
If that wasn't a convincing argument, stick with the gents. :D
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Well, that sounds convincing...
Edited on Mon Oct-09-06 07:02 PM by HypnoToad
:9

Oops, typo. :)

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Drum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 11:40 PM
Response to Reply #10
24. I've gotta agree with LeftyMom here
...but the list is long.

But so is everyone else's, probably, and in the end won't this get more confusing?

We like what we like...lists and convincing won't do a damned thing for ya.
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:02 PM
Response to Original message
11. As a straight non homophobic male i say
Follow your heart!
ignore the labels.
Find someone who makes you happy.
And be happy :)
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:44 PM
Response to Reply #11
18. I agree.
I'm not hetero but I'm always going where I don't belong so this is no exception. Genetic is genetic.
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. yes it is .
and truer words may never have been spoken
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riderinthestorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:04 PM
Response to Original message
13. What's the "right" side of the bench? You are yummy for those who are
seeking threesomes. Go nuts! Revel in your sexuality! Lucky you!
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:25 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Three is one too many, probably, but I do appreciate the sentiment.
:)

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stlsaxman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
14. dude, it took me 48 years to figure out that I am....
Edited on Mon Oct-09-06 07:21 PM by stlsaxman
the luckiest man on the planet when she said "yes"...



be it a he or a she you'll know it when you both know it...

and believe me there's NOTHING on the world to match it.

The challenge is all yours, Toad... hope you find "the one".

Hell, I don't even miss "researching the field" anymore.

Best of luck in your search!
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Guava Jelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:22 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. And you are a lucky man! As she is a lucky woman!
:toast:
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stlsaxman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 07:32 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. Thank you! Here's hoping Toad (and indeed everyone) finds their love!
:toast:

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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
20. I just wrote a very convincing argument for why you should
avoid men, but perhaps I'm a wee bit bitter these days :P Anyhow, you know perfectly well that if you were up here I'd date you in a flash. Having said that, I think that women are afraid to invest in a relationship with somebody who isn't sure, whether they're upfront about it or not. The right woman would be, but there aren't too many of those around.

I like men and women both, but have only been in love with a man. I'm thinking, therefore, for a life partner that may be my preference. Then again, maybe not. Helpful, aren't I?
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. I'm increasingly sure.
Edited on Mon Oct-09-06 08:55 PM by HypnoToad
Without getting into TMI territory, there are issues I will always have.

I've been attracted physically to both genders. With both, there is a certain 'type'.

Dates with men have been going nowhere emotionally; there is no emotional depth; and I get along with women rather better anyway.

The last time I was with a man, it was not enjoyable. There was no connection or depth.

Lastly, nobody is the 'right person'. It's a matter of how close to 'right' one is and proceeding accordingly. I am a 'hopeless romantic', but would rather be a hopeful one. And hope requires effort and time. That is worth investing in.


I will search for your post re: men, but if you have a link, would you post it? :)
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. I wrote it to you, and then deleted it because I don't
want to piss anybody off. Sigh. There are plenty of tales of heartless, deceptive women out there too. But I honestly believe that a man is more capable of using you for his personal gratification without being interested in you as a human being. It makes decent sense, reproductively speaking. I also believe that a man can be very, very loyal once he believes he's found what he's looking for, even when he's wrong.

Right now I hate men. I can't offer you anything really positive there :shrug:
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-09-06 11:36 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. toad you're too serious
if you want to be with a woman because you think women are more willing to settle, what does that say about your true feelings about women?

if you want to be with a woman because you think women are more desperate to settle down, what does that say about your true feelings about yourself?

you can't be in such a hurry, enjoy something light with your "type" if that's what is available, don't try to make every encounter into something "deep"

give yourself time to meet the right person, what's the rush?

you are in a no lose situation, if you never meet the right person, you've got your freedom and your independence to do as you please without consulting another -- and if you do meet the right person, well, you've met the right person

there doesn't have to be a downside to this situation
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