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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:00 PM
Original message
I Want To Move Back HOME!!!
Edited on Sun Oct-08-06 08:00 PM by crim son
This house, this town and this state - hell, this whole country - are full of too many bad memories and too many fuckups. I think for the first time in my life, the little voice inside my head is saying "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

Have you ever had that feeling? Like being a child and wanting to run and hide from the mess you made of things?
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:00 PM
Response to Original message
1. Yeah.
:hug:
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:08 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. ...
:hug:
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miss_american_pie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:01 PM
Response to Original message
2. Oh hell yeah
It's been the motivation behind quite a few road trips.

:hug:
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:07 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. For me, it's a novelty.
I'm more of a forge ahead come hell or high water type of person. But I woke up today and realized I have no reason to love being where I am. If the kids were young or if they were much older, I'd start again alone. If that would be taking the easy way out then I rather believe it's time for something easy.
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hickman Donating Member (904 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:05 PM
Response to Original message
3. Yes. Many times.
Never could though, so I just always had to wade through the mess. If it helps, you always get to the other side. Good luck.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:09 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. Thanks.
I'm good at wading too.
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:06 PM
Response to Original message
4. Every day.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:10 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. I think that would be v. hard.
You probably think a little too much, not that you have a choice.
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:33 PM
Response to Reply #10
22. My mother told me that when I was 6.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #22
25. Mothers know their daughters. n/t
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #25
29. She made me what I am.
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lizziegrace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
8. I'm the queen
I'm a stress driver. Too bad gas is so expensive and my car's so old. :(

I drove over 100 miles one evening last week. I felt I was going to come out of my skin if I didn't get out of the house.

:(

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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:12 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. I think a lot of people do that... drive their stress away.
I try to go out and socialize. As soon as I start talking to other people I forget that I'm hurting.
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Lady Freedom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:10 PM
Response to Original message
9. NO!!!! That is a Repukes way to handle things!!
That is what Bushy is planing to do after the Repukes lose this Nov. ya know!!
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. I won't do it, Lady. I just really want to!
My kids are more important than my being perfectly comfortable in my world. I will NEVAH! act like a repuke!
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:11 PM
Response to Original message
11. Wanting to run away is normal.
When one has gone through a lot of changes, bad times, financial or personal setbacks, et cetera it is natural to want to run away and start over. Usually the feeling passes once you have some clarity on a new direction to take or when you feel that you have some control over your life again. Running away usually doesn't solve anything.

Hang in there.

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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:15 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Hanging by the neck, as I've said before.
But still, hanging :P
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:13 PM
Response to Original message
13. No. Things WILL get better.
Otherwise I may as well not have gone to the ER back in July and find some railroad tracks to take a lengthy nap on.

For my life has exponentially more bad moments than good. But I don't let it rule me, despite all the moments I want it to. And on days it's damn easy to want it to.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:16 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. I am familiar with those tracks.
It isn't the way. :hug:
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:18 PM
Response to Original message
17. I hate that feeling
Luckily, I haven't had it in a long time. But, I truly, know, somewhat anyway, how you feel. I have tried to run away from my problems several times in my life.

Keep your chin up...I know that's a stupid cliche at times, but I always liked it when people told me that when I was feeling badly.

:hug:
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:22 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. There are times when I don't like to hear what I'm not
ready for. But when it's well-intended, I listen. So, thanks!
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
19. i've come to the conclusion that for some people
they can never have a home.

for whatever reason, i think there are certain types (like myself) who are destined to be alone (not lonely though) and this is a choice.

i like to think of it as a "child of the universe" thing.

or as epictetus would say: "you think that you have lost something? you have not. it has been restored."
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #19
24. Yes, that is exactly it.
It's like any home is an illusion I create, and when the illusion shifts the feeling of security is gone. People are the finest illusions, but they too always disappear. How you learn to accept and find strength in this, though, I have no idea.
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. you are your own home
there is no such thing as a soulmate, no other person can "complete" another person.

in the past few months, i've realized that (at least theoretically) if you can live between your own two ears, you can live anywhere.

the theory does however differ greatly from the practice.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #26
30. Then I think my home is in serious need of maintenance.
No, seriously, I have been solitary almost all of my life. Even the relationship I've had with my husband was one of emotional distance. I thought I preferred it that way until something happened to me. Now I want something different. It's not necessarily a soulmate. Maybe it's just a regular intimate relationship. The kind where you can look into your partner's eyes and say with absolute truthfulness, "I love him/her."
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #30
33. i've thought about that too
have had that, but even a committed relationship is too much pressure. i will not allow myself to be controlled by another person in respect.

i even have a hard time answering questions. last g/f asked me lots of questions and would get pissed when i told her it was none of her business. tried to tell me what to do, control game shit.

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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
20. I have become resigned to my fate and accept the limitations
that I and life have put upon myself...

Having said that, I guess I ran off to take a Creative Writing Class surrounded by a bunch f kids...

I also have found deep pleasure in finding out more about this crazy world of ours by trying to experience new things as often as I can...

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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:39 PM
Response to Reply #20
27. I am not at "acceptance" yet. Not by a long shot.
But I agree that one key to happiness is to see, do, read, touch, learn... something new every day. When I don't do that, I know I'm completely off-balance. :hug:, WC! No, I shouldn't call you that, as it has it's own meaning in French.
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #27
32. The old saying that an unexamined life is not worth living...
I agree with that wholeheartedly...

But at different ages, an unexamined life means different things...

I feel I need to relearn, reexamine and experience the wonders that are all around me...
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. Not only that, but you can recognize in the faces
of those who have been afraid to look too closely or feel too deeply, their exhaustion, anger, fear. Has the creative writing been a very good thing for you?
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 09:06 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. I've been writing for a very long time but to capture the energy
from the kids in the class is really refreshing...

They are good but seem to lack the experience yet to truly get down their passion in words...

But yea, I am pumped....
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caty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
21. I get the strong feeling
sometimes that I would like to move to another country. Australia, New Zealand, Scotland, or England. One more republican president, and I might do it. I hate what our country has become.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #21
28. Oh yeah. When I dwell on our political situation
the urge to leave is overwhelming. I keep saying that I'll leave if the draft is reinstated. I'm Canadian... it wouldn't be the worst thing to leave the U.S.
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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:34 PM
Response to Original message
23. I usually get it after posting in a thread.
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-08-06 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #23
31. Err... I recognize that emotion.
I should never drink and type. But dude, I'm female. I'm going to post about feelings that are distasteful to many men. Sorry about that :)
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