More field-tested Bucky-approved seduction techniques.

[Bucky]

I got some positive feedback from my "Lipsync and shoot pointy fingerguns" advice in another thread, so I thought I'd let the rest of you gents out there in on my time-proven techniques for keepin' the ladies happy. As a bachelor for many many years, I can tell you this is the way to go.

Oh, and ladies, when a guy does stuff like this, it means he cares. You can trust me on this.

1- Call her "babe" a lot. This has the ancillary effect of preventing you from calling her the wrong name (e.g. "mommy")

2- Gold chains. LOTS of gold chains. Best if you leave your shirt unbuttoned to the navel so they can see the whole chain

3- Collapsing beer cans against the forehead. This assures the ladies that you can protect them in case you're suddenly attacked by flying clown ninjas. (Note to HypnoToad: it's better if you use your own forehead instead of the lady's)

4- Let her know you appreciate her appearance. Say things like "You're hot" and "Check out them hooters" and "Woooohoooo!" frequently.

5- Remove the price tag from the flowers. I highly recommend plastic flowers as they never go bad.

6- "Accidentally" leave the price tag on the jewelry you buy her. She knows you love her, but she deserves to know exactly how much you love her.

7- Women want to be know that you'll stay with them for the long run. Reassure her by letting her know that her mother has a "sweet ass."

8- If her sister has a sweet ass, keep it yourself. I won't tell you how I learned this lesson, so you'll just have to trust me on this one.

9- Women love a man who knows how to cook. When you make a beer run to the grocery store, stop by the frozen food section and stock up.

10- When she's sharing her deepest feelings, nod frequently and make sure your ear with the MicroWalkman in it is turned away from her. (Note to HypnoToad: keep the volume turned down too!)

[petronius]

1. Those are all good tips! I've also learned that humor is important,

especially when she's misbehaved and you have to correct her. For example, when she blocks the TV during a game, don't yell - make a joke like "You ain't much of a window, Babe!" or even "Hey Sumo! That TV's 52" wide and you're blocking the whole thing! Great work!"

[Bucky]

2. Hopefully you've trained her better than to cross in *front* of the TV...

when she's bringing you your beer and popcorn. And I say "you" because, for some strange reason, I've personally never had a girlfriend who lasted thru an entire football season. Guess that just shows how flighty those babes are.

[petronius]

5. I've tried, but geez, they just won't learn!

:)

[trof]

3. Also, you can buy a Tiffany box for a few bucks

to put that cheap Wal-Mart jewelry in.
;-)

[petronius]

6. Ooh, that's tricky!

On a broader note, I don't think women ever get tired of the joke where you put the real gift inside fake packaging - the vacuum bags in a Victoria's Secret box, or the Hooters gift certificate tucked into an empty Air France ticket folder! The look on her face is so cute when she catches on...

:rofl:

[radwriter0555]

4. Nothing says love like a set of pearls from JC Penney.

*cough*