Helpful hints ...

[texas1928]

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away!
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful, inexpensive vibrator.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

[RevolutionaryActs]

1. lmao

:rofl:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear tex!

These are wonderfully funny!

I especially like the angry wasp suggestion!


:rofl:

[Haole Girl]

3. Eeek!

Can you imagine, if it happened to open up at the wrong time? AAACK!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. Yes, I can imagine...........EEK indeed!

I would never use one, wasps or no wasps! :scared:

[VeggieTart]

6. thanks, but...

I'll pay extra for the battery-operated kind, thank you very much.

[texas1928]

5. You need to be One with nature.

:D

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. OH, yeah, sure I do!

Some kinds of nature are a whole lot more fun than others!

And wasps are in the not-fun category!

:rofl:

[texas1928]

10. Well

It would add a bit of danger and suspense to the event.

[Shine]

8. LOL!!

those were funny! :thumbsup: :hi:

[raccoon]

9. Those are good and funny! Needed that laugh. nt