It's odd

[tinfoil tiaras]

Most people (including myself) are more real and true to who they are on the internet than they are in real life. I'm never fake with y'all on DU or on PTC-what you see is what you get in essence-but in real life, I admit, even though I hate fake people with a passion, I can be fake and not true to who I am sometimes.

So, I got that out of the way, now.

Maybe the reason people are more open and real here on the highways of the internets is because the internet is like the cloak of invisibility-a power humans have wanted since the beginning of time. And we've got it. You can be whoever you want to be on the internet. It's like moving to a new town and reinventing yourself. Believe me, if y'all could go to school with me, you would see a totally different part of my personality being exposed.

I admit it and y'all will be shocked. I don't have very many friends in real life. Most people think I'm obnoxious, loud, annoying, socially inept (or at least that's what I think they think about me...maybe I'm just being pessimistic) and therefore, don't want to really make friends with me. But most of y'all here see me as bright, spirited, energetic, etc. I have more friends here on DU than I do at school.

Wow. I feel uber pathetic now. I royally suck at life.

Everyones going to some fancy restaurant before homecoming. I'm not. Because no one's invited me.

Let me change that. I have friends at school, but they aren't in my grade. I feel like my mind is older than my numerical age. I feel that most of the people in my grade are extremely immature. So that might explain somethings.

I'm just rambling...needing to get this out of my system because it's been in here almost all week.

And when I try to make friends, it always backfires at me somehow. People ignore me. And I don't like to be ignored. It's like they're purposely going out of their way to do the one thing that they know will make me feel not included, left out and horrible-ignore me.

Fucking bitch. You're so fake. Dammit. Why. Fuck you class of 2010. Fuck you.

Aggression I need to get out ^^^.

Thanks for listening, DU.

[lizziegrace]

1. It's a universal struggle

Some in 3D are better at covering it up than you. I think there has to be balance in a person. If you're extremely intelligent (and I know you are), then maybe the rest of you will take a little longer to catch up. I know how it feels to be out of your element with people. And the age you are, it's going to get nastier as time goes on. I always refer to boys in middle and early high school as the "missing links". And the girls? They can bring cattiness to a new level.

Be kind to yourself. Trying to find how you fit in is tough.

[tinfoil tiaras]

4. Thanks for the sweet reply

Yeah, there are so many fake-ass bitches (for lack of a better word ) in my grade at my school. And all the guys are nasty and gross-not dating material at all. And it always seems like I'm attracted to older guys-like really older probably married guys (ew, i know...)..is that tmi? hope not.

uugggghhh

[lizziegrace]

7. Hang in there!

And just think "knuckle-draggers" when the boys are being, well, middle-school boys.

[Name removed]

8. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[lizziegrace]

9. Better to let it out

than to unexpectedly blow up. We'll listen. Trust me, I don't think there's a single one of us who hasn't been in your shoes.

[tinfoil tiaras]

10. i love all of y'all here

y'all are so understanding and awesome...

[GOPisEvil]

2. I wish I had the magic words.

I went through a lot of the same crap.

[tinfoil tiaras]

6. It's okay

You don't have to have any good advice. I was just posting so someone could listen to this shit that's been going on all week...

[Haole Girl]

3. I hate fake people, too!

It's interesting that you feel this way...about not being able to make friends, etc. There are millions of people, I imagine, on the internet this very moment who feel like they can't make friends easily...but they are!

Hang in there!

[tinfoil tiaras]

5. Seriously?

It's always been easier for me to make internet friends than real life friends.

Thanks for the support

[ZombieNixon]

11. Class of 2010?

Man, seeing that makes me feel old.

But, when you're rich and successful and they're flipping burgers at age 32, you won't worry about what middle school was like.

[tinfoil tiaras]

12. Haha, its okay

Yeah, i know. Its sad. Their parents are spending all this money on their school and they only seem to care about stupid shit about guys in our grade...

[ZombieNixon]

13. Trust me.

Most of the "cool" guys in eighth grade never make it out of the hellhole they currently live in. I know this for a fact.

[tinfoil tiaras]

15. Yeah..those losers

will be living off mommy and daddy's money until theyre at least in their mid 30s probably...

[lizziegrace]

14. Ha!

Try being the class of '78. I'm old enough to be *your* mother too.

[tinfoil tiaras]

16. My moms the class of 75

Shhh! don't tell her i said that on the internet...kay?

[ZombieNixon]

17. I know.

My mom's class of...actually I don't know because she went to school in India and the school system's all different...but I think it was class of '73 or something.

[gkdmaths]

18. Maybe some day I'll tell you how many times

I got beat up when I was your age.

I never did anything social then, and I sort of felt bad about it at the time.

But you're going to grow up and someday you're going to realize that you're fitting in with everyone around you. You're going to respect them and you're going to respect yourself. You will be significantly liked and appreciated because you're a hard-working, devoted, skilled and talented individual who rose above the hormone-induced clusterfuck of highschool social game-playing.

just stay true to yourself andf persist through the tough times - there are much, much better times to come (and they come with financial, personal and romantic rewards you couldn't possibly dream of right now!).

just keep getting it out of your system!

[tinfoil tiaras]

19. Haha, i know

I mean I like high school SO much better than middle school, but I cant wait to go to college...now that seems like fun, imho

[lizziegrace]

20. How are you feeling today?

I little less I hope?

[tinfoil tiaras]

22. Oh, yes

I needed to rest-I get only like 5 hours of sleep a night during the school week and people have just been pissing me off alot, so that makes for a bad combination...

[WritingIsMyReligion]

21. In utter agreement from the class of '09.

I need to get out in the real world more often.

[tinfoil tiaras]

23. Haha, same here

I've just decided that I'm gonna just try to be nice to the whole lot of them...see if that makes them angry..

[hotforteacher]

24. Tinfoil, there are so many assholes in the world.

Seriously. They exist for one reason only--to end up becoming consumers.

In high school, I primarily hung out with folk who were older than me because I just couldn't understand people my own age. The social pressures are incredibly palatable and engrossing. If it's any consolation, most of those people who are giving you a hard time are just as confused and inadequate-feeling as you.

Since the most important thing here is you and how you are feeling at this moment, you have done the most critical thing--you are thinking about it and putting it out there. You are letting yourself become open to ideas and making yourself "vulnerable" (read: you are being incredibly strong by means of being honest--most adults can't figure that out) just by virtue of posting this.

No one likes to be ignored. It's painful and isolating...more than anything, it's a powertrip and meant to keep you in your place. People who ignore others are doing one of several things:

They are anxiety-ridden and cannot deal with outside contacts...it's emotionally draining to them. It leaves them potentially vulnerable to people seeing them at their worst.
They are assholes who are not in control of their own lives in ways that make them feel good, so they control other people so as not to have to do some serious self-examination.
They have poor communication skills, and are perhaps depressed.

I know lots of people who quite simply are introverts and need a lot of alone time to charge their batteries, but the wonderful adults I know that have high alone-time needs are mature enough to communicate these needs in respectful ways--even if they are mad at you.

Being authentic is usually as appreciated as farting in a car with closed windows. It's separating yourself from the herd, which is scary for the rest. Remind yourself that being strong and honest is more important than their acceptance. It may be a more lonely path, but you won't drown in the bullshit. You are being stronger. Some people, people worth your time, will fall over themselves to be around you and will realize your worth--believe that. You have to do it first.

See, this is why I love high schoolers! How fucking cool are you for saying these things?! You should do your own 'zine...do some writing and cutting and taping and photocopying and leave them around the school randomly. Have fun with it. Let them become boring assholes. You get to sleep well at night knowing you have done fabulous things, have hung out with fabulous people, and have been kind to yourself and others. That's nothing to sneeze at.

[tinfoil tiaras]

25. Awesome advice, thank you so much

What do you mean 'zine? Like an internet thing or what? Just wonderinggg

[hotforteacher]

26. A 'Zine is a homegrown

Do It Yourself magazine. You do the writing, poetry, articles, drawing, collages, photocopy it and distribute to whomever you choose. Do a Google search on them and you will probably find lists of people who distribute to people across the globe.

There are some really cool ones out there done by high school girls (it experienced a renaissance of sorts in the 1990's with the Riot Grrl movement). Good stuff...you may find it cathartic.

Good luck, darling. Keep those cha-cha heels on and dance.

[tinfoil tiaras]

32. Oh, thanks for explaining it

But it would be easier for me to do it on the internet b/c I don't know any publishing or whatev...an E-zine?

[hotforteacher]

36. Yeah, and it would be cheaper.

Although I am partial to something I can hold in my hand, but that's my aesthetic. You should check out these two books, however:





I gave both to my sixteen-year-old babysitter--she loves them and it's right up your alley. It's true..."they" are out there, just make sure you have good boundaries and protect your heart a wee bit.

The meanies will always be out there, but there are a bajillion great folk as well that make them look like steaming piles of horseapples.

[pauliedangerously]

27. It only gets better sweetheart

You're a teen now and you have more life in front of you than you can imagine right now. God, I TOTALLY know what you mean though. I was an extremely obnoxious guy in high school...other people seemed to move in slow motion to me, especially my teachers.

You're probably bored with the people around you because you operate at a different level. Over time you develop skills to manage these kinds of individuals and you also eventually discover people who are like you.

Hang in there and don't listen to too much blues music alone.

[tinfoil tiaras]

28. I think you're probably right

I do get bored of most of the people around me. They're just so...ugghhh..boring i guess?


But yeah, i think that's what it is...

[pauliedangerously]

29. Welcome to the secret society of the people who see

Have you seen "They Live?"

[tinfoil tiaras]

31. No-but I wanna see it now

if it semi-pertains to this situation I'm in...

[haf216]

30. I know that right now it feels like things are never going to change,

but give it time. High school is hard for a lot of people, I hated every minute of it. I had few good friends, but we where the "freaks" ( I don't know what we would be called today) and took a lot of heat. Most of the time we did not care, but it does get under everyone's skin sometimes. But you leave high school and go to collage and it's another world. It's easter to find people that are on your level.

Hang in there, and you will do well.

[tinfoil tiaras]

33. Yeah-cant wait till I go to college

But then again, I said the same thing about high school...hmm

[haf216]

34. No college is really better. n/t

[Guava Jelly]

35. I feel for ya TinfoilT

People are different on the net for one thing.
I have friends but none i really hang out with.
It's funny but I tell people on the internet (here) things I would never tell my real life friends.
I don't think you are alone at all!
And maybe you are mature for your age.I think you are from talking to you.
Just don't rush growing up. As hard or boring or even as lonely as you may feel..You will look back at this time when you are older and think ya know it wasn't all that bad..
Because I felt the same way as you at your age..And now i realize it was one of the best times of my life and I was making myself miserable about things that in the long run I couldn't control and don't even matter in the long run!
I bet you will look very beautiful in your homecoming dress and of course your cool shoes.
Just go and be a goof have a good time!
Because we all sure like ya

[tinfoil tiaras]

38. Aww..thank you GoPsUx

I feel honored to be loved by all you DUers...

[wildhorses]

37. one of these days the internet you and the IRL you will meld

together and

those fuckers at school are going to wake up and realize it!! I promise it WILL happen

[tinfoil tiaras]

39. Hahaha! Thanks wildhorses!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

40. What really sticks in the minds of those worth knowing

is what you think of yourself.

[tinfoil tiaras]

41. Y'all here on DU

are amazing. Y'all always make me feel amazingly good about myself.