pretty funny stuff, some sad but true :(
Republican Dictionary - Newest Definitions
Alternative energy sources (n.) New locations to drill for gas and oil.
Bankruptcy (n.) A punishable crime when committed by poor people but
not corporations.
Cheney, Dick (n.) The greater of two evils.
Climate change (n.) The day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.
Compassionate conservatism (n.) Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
Creationism (n.) Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance
to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
DeLay, Tom. 1. (v.) Past tense of De Lie; 2. (n.) Patronage saint.
Democracy (n.) So extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted.
Fox News (n.)
Fiction.
Free markets (n.) Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.
Girly men (n.) Males who do not grope women inappropriately.
Growth (n.) 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What
happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.
Habeas corpus (n.) Archaic Legal term no longer in use (See
Patriot Act).
Healthy forest (n.) No tree left behind.
Honesty (n.) Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Things
are going well in Iraq."
House of Representatives (n.) Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to
$5 million.
Laziness (n.) Term used to describe any period of time when the poor
are not working.
Leisure time (n.) Term used to describe any period of time when the
wealthy are not working.
9/11 (n.) Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy.
No Child Left Behind (n.) Government policy that insures success for
all through guaranteed jobs in the military.
Ownership society (n.) A civilization in which 1 percent of the
population controls 90 percent of the wealth.
Patriot Act (n.) The preemptive strike on American freedoms to prevent
the terrorists from destroying them first.
Pro-life (adj.) Term used to describe those who value "human life" from
conception until birth.
Senate (n.) Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million.
Simplify (v.) To cut the taxes of Republican donors.
Stay the course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing
over and over, regardless of the result.
Voter fraud (n.) Term used to describe a significant minority turnout.
Wal-Mart (n.) Model for the future nation-state.
Water (n.) Arsenic storage device.
Woman (n.) 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be
trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child. 2.
Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions
made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.
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