What do you do

[MissHoneychurch]

if a man/woman you start dating reminds you of an ex, that you don't really have good memories of?

I had a date last night and the guy reminded me in some of his movements and way of speaking of one of my exes. And I don't have any fond memories of that ex because he treated me like shit. That ex had such a low self esteem that he had to make me down to feel better himself.

So what would you do?

[billyskank]

1. Just do what feels right

If you don't like being with the guy because he reminds you of someone else, then don't be with him. It isn't fair to him, that's true, but that's life. If you do like being with him then be with him.

Why do people make this stuff so difficult? Here I sit, no relationship in four and a half years, and all I ever read is people complaining about this-and-that in their relationships. Just do what you want to do, people, and stop making things so complicated!

[MissHoneychurch]

3. billy, I don't make it complicated

And it isn't a relationship yet. It was my first date with this guy yesterday. I just wrote what I noticed. I am not coming to any conclusions. I don't even know if I want to date that man or not. I barely know him.

[Guava Jelly]

2. I say just take it slow and have a good time!

If he turns out to be a jerk then dump him.
:)

[MissHoneychurch]

5. That is the best I guess

beside, I will be gone in 10 days for 3 weeks, so it will be slow no matter what I want or he :)

[Ariana Celeste]

4. Go with your gut

you will know what to do, I'm sure....

I've been through that- one ended up being a bit different, one was very similar, both sucked in the long run- but that's just me. :hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

6. Thanks for your input

both guys are from the South, maybe it is just the dialect. I don't know :shrug:

I guess I will see how it goes and then decide. I just don't want to be unfair to him and compare him to my ex.

[In_The_Wind]

7. It's hard to break a pattern.

Sometimes, it's the behaviors which drive us to distraction.

[MissHoneychurch]

8. But it would be unfair to this guy

not to date him because he reminds me of an ex-bf.

[In_The_Wind]

12. Are the similarities gonna drive ya nuts?

I've called Phil the wrong name more than once. :blush: Ya can't call everyone Hon all of the time ya know.

[MissHoneychurch]

14. It bothers me, yes

it is hard to explain. It isn't something I can put my finger on. I just know it is there.

I called one bf by my ex's name also. I have to be careful there, I am good at calling people different names till I find the correct one :blush:

[In_The_Wind]

17. Then ~ be kind to yourself and move on.

People rarely change.

[Callalily]

9. Just follow your

instincts MissH, and don't try to over analyze. That's always the best.

[MissHoneychurch]

11. Thanks Simply

I will see. Maybe if I go out with him a bit more it becomes clear how much he is similar to my ex - or not

:hug:

Why is there always a catch??? :cry:

[Callalily]

13. Oh, I don't think there's

always a catch. Just think of it as meeting a new friend. Getting to know a new friend, and try to keep the "relationship" conversation out of your head. Just two people meeting and getting to know each other, nothing more, nothing less.

[MissHoneychurch]

15. That is what we did

He asked me in the end what I thought of the date and if I would go more direction friendship or relationship. I told him I can't tell yet and he was happy that I answered that way. It was the answer he hoped for as he sees it the same way. You can't make any decisions after the first date.

:hug:

[Callalily]

18. Very wise of you!

True, no decisions can be made after just one meeting, friendship wise or relationship wise. Contemplating a next meeting? If you have enough in common, why not. At the very least, maybe you can add a new friend to your list.

Gotta head out for work now. Wishing you a great day!

[Richard Steele]

10. The SUBCONSCIOUS sees all, knows all.

Ignore it at your PERIL.

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. Do what you think is best. Do you think it's going to affect the way

this relationship would progress?

But, try to keep in mind each person is an individual.

Good Luck!

[Iniquitous Bunny]

19. Do what you think is best, but...

If a relationship just started and it doesn't click for whatever reason, my view is just end it it quickly. It's either "there" or it's not. All my relationships have been either 2-3 weeks or years and years. I'm not-so-good at in-between.