Paris Hilton listens to her new album and cries because it's...SO...GOOD..

[Human Torch]

Paris Hilton: Her Album So Good She 'Like, Cries' When She Hears It
Monday, August 21, 2006

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,209629,00.html

"People go crazy," the 25-year-old socialite/reality TV star/singer says in an interview in the September issue of Blender, on newsstands Tuesday. "They love it. Everyone's like, `Who is this?' I don't tell. Because I don't want someone putting their phone up and recording it and making a ring tone off of it.

"I think when people don't know it's me, they won't judge it. But if they know it's me, then they'll be like, `Ugh.' They won't even dance."

"Paris" the album was set for release Tuesday. Hilton's breathy, reggae-infused single, "Stars Are Blind," has climbed to the top of Billboard's dance music chart.

Of her album, she says, "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

[Shakespeare]

1. Emaciated little body, GREAT BIG ego. n/t

[idgiehkt]

2. If I had her money

I would do nothing but sit on my ass. I don't want to hear it, because I'm scared I might like it or something, but at least she's got some kind of ambition. Has anyone heard her song yet? Can she really sing or is it 'studio magic'?

[Human Torch]

3. I heard whatever song's in the video...

...and it's generic studio "something other than magic."

It's sort of fluffy disco techno-pop that could have come from any one of a thousand faceless pop divas. Anyone with time on their hands, a studio, lots of money and a crew of engineers could have done it.

[Momgonepostal]

21. I've heard it...it's nothing special

Typical ditzy pop crap...and I like some pop...but it's rather silly. About what you'd expect. With studio production methods, they can make just about anyone sound OK.

[Skittles]

29. ????

I just think of the number of people, charities I could help with that kind of money. I would do nothing but volunteer work all my life....it kills me to see someone as insipid as Paris spending so much money on herself.

[acmavm]

4. Oh man, I woke up one morning after my son fell asleep on the

couch with videos on. That trollop had a video about being 'so good for you' or some damn thing. The video was pretty true to form. She portrayed herself as a skinny bleached out slut.

edit: I told that kid I'd better NEVER wake up to anything like that again as long as he's in my house.

[LynneSin]

5. Music technology is such that if you have the money

You too can put out an album. No longer do you need to be able to actually sing since they can alter your voice in the studio (and have studio singer help out the voice). THen in performance you can either lip synch or they can enhance the voice (like the Ashley Simpson/SNL incident) where you are singing but they add to the voice to make it sound better.

[Human Torch]

9. When Frank Zappa became too ill to perform...

...he spent his final days composing on the Synclavier, an ultra-sophisticated synthesizer, because he'd become frustrated with musicians who couldn't play the physically demanding pieces he heard in his head. Machines can do all kinds of things humans can't do. You just need a programmer. Zappa wrote and recorded symphonies...or what he considered to be symphonies...on a big expensive computer, essentially...

Also, Neil Young...in his "Trans" era, even though that is now seen by many as a noble but failed experiment...talked enthusiastically at the time about being able to sample a few seconds of James Brown's voice, which would then allow him to do an entire song...or album...in which he would sound virtually indistinguishable from the G.O.S....

For me, it's wires and wood and fingers and real human voices...none of which can be found on the new Hilton epic.

[LynneSin]

11. It's no different than what photographers do to their pictures

I see 8X10 glossies of glamerous gals who have no cellulite or zips on them and I think "Gee, I don't think I could ever look like them" But you have to realize that they can take pictures of just about anyone, remove the flaws and create your next playboy centerfold.

Makes you feel a little bit cheated

[jmowreader]

25. You don't have to know how to play, either

You can go in using Pro Tools and move the individual drum strokes or guitar notes around so they lock up exactly to the click track. With the drums, you can even pick out the drum stroke you like the sound of best and copy/paste it throughout the track.

A drum machine would give you exactly the same result with less time and trouble, but "drum machines are so lame, man!" Like, hittin' a drum once then pasting it throughout the song isn't?

[Initech]

6. There's no hope for the music industry if Paris Hilton can record an album

Really, seriously. Pack it up, take it out to the back and shoot it, it's done.

[LynneSin]

12. Seriously, consider this if you're the CEO of a Corporate Record Company

Paris Hilton comes in and promises to help pay for some of the costs of producing the albums. Probably has the deal setup so she can re-coup her investments. All she needs is the record company to distribute the album, do a bit of promotions and pass a few bucks to get the DJs to play it.

I predict that Ms. Hilton will debut #1, but won't make it into any Hall-of-Fame with her talented.

[LordLovesAWorkingMan]

14. Plus, she probably...

...offered to sweeten the deal in non-pecuniary ways, too...

[_testify_]

7. I'm physically ill.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

8. Good God...

That's an awful picture...

I'm neither in the "she's hot" camp nor the "she's so ugly" camp, but, wow. That is one unflattering photograph.

[JitterbugPerfume]

10. just another bimbo

what the heck happened to the music industry?????

[derby378]

13. Oh, puh-leeze...

You want to shed tears to some good music? Try Samuel Barber, Gustav Mahler, or Sergei Prokofiev. This is nuts.

[baldguy]

15. She sings?

I thought she was famous for being famous, like Eva Gabor.

[LeftyMom]

17. Eva Gabor was on Green Acres

Also, she was very pretty and a passable comic actress. ZsaZsa was the one who didn't seem to be famous for any real reason.

[baldguy]

19. Not famous enough, apparently.

Before my time anyway.

[LeftyMom]

20. Green Acres used to be on Nick at Night a lot.

That's the only reason I know it, it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay before my time too. Eva gabor was really pretty though, and she had a lovely voice and accent. She was also the voice of Bianca on the Disney movie The Rescuers, if that helps to place her.

[Skittles]

30. Eva was awesome!

a good actress and a wonderful lady

[anarch]

16. hell, I cried as soon as I found out she was putting out a record

[datasuspect]

18. who posted that pic of her holding the copy of "trout mask replica"

by captain beefheart?

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. Oh. My. God!!! I like totally cry every time I hear it!

It hurts so badly.

[mvd]

23. That album's a disaster, and not because it's Paris

It's because it's bad. Some of these songs might have been ok if they didn't make it so fake and contrived. Her vocals are layered about a million times and still can't drive the songs. At least Britney has SOME songs that are great guilty pleasures. Paris makes Britney look good.

I like pop, but I think she's deluded if she thinks this is good.

[Momgonepostal]

24. Rich people are often used to people stroking their egos

I bet she has a gaggle of people in her life who tell her hwo great she is on a regular basis.

[mvd]

27. Agreed

I bet it was her ego that led her to become a singer in the first place.

[Indy_Dem_Defender]

26. Here's the video off of youtube

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x1Qx1d4RKQc

Looks like the typical stuff I saw on MTV a few years ago when they would play a video. Doesn't sound any worse than any other bubblegum pop that's out there now. Does sound like music magic because you can hear 2 voices singing.

[KamaAina]

28. I'm crying just from reading this.

Who told her she ought to make an album? Are they bringing back The Gong Show or something? "Aw, Paris, you got gonged! I really liked your act, but then again, I like Miracle Whip."