Quick! I need a woman with Life Path number 1, 5, or 7!

[ForrestGump]

And I need her quickly, before I get any older...as it is, the heat from candles on my last birthday cake -- had I had one -- was sufficient to boil 4.91 US ounces of water!

Here's my blurb:

"Of slight build, lots of charm, appeal and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination."

Slight build?





The good news is that my Native American Zodiac sign is Woodpecker...

[ForrestGump]

1. I offer, as proof of the urgency of my need, the fact that I posted this

as a new topic and not as an answer to this thread created by GoPsUx....



Oops.



EDIT: and I typo'd, too. I've just been alone too long...just me and my testosterone...

[xmas74]

2. Can't help you.

I'm a six. My name is an eleven.

My daughter is a seven but she's a bit too young for you.

[ForrestGump]

4. But, all the same, it was

nice to meet you...

[xmas74]

6. Sorry about that.

[reyd reid reed]

3. Well, drats...

Seems I'm a 9.

That's okay...my blurb says I'm difficult.

Hmmmph...me?

[ForrestGump]

13. Difficult?

Difficult to forget, maybe...

[reyd reid reed]

16. Oooooh...

[MissMillie]

5. I'm a 3

sorry

[ForrestGump]

14. I know it's cheesy disco 70s stuff, but I gotta say it:

once, twice, three times a lady...

[MissMillie]

69. awwww... shucks!

[txwhitedove]

7. Sorry, FG. My cake could boil water, also, but I'm tall Life Path 8

in search of a tall 6. Native American Sign is Raven.

[ForrestGump]

15. If you add my five and one together,

I become a six.

[buddhamama]

8. Why am I responding to this thread,

when I am a six and clearly we are not compatible?! Because I believe everyone deserves some love. So, my advise: help yourself out lose the desperation and flaunt your inner Woodpecker.

[ForrestGump]

17. Well, I'm not really THAT desperate

I mean, I can wait maybe a day or two...maybe.

I'd better get busy flaunting....


And coming up with another birthdate that makes me irresistible to sixes....

[Bossy Monkey]

9. Is that anything like Rainy Day Women #12 & 35? n/t

[ForrestGump]

18. Ha!

Why? Do you know some?

[wildhorses]

10. sorry Forrest, I am 11.

why is it I thought you were married?

[ForrestGump]

19. Eleven?!?!?!?

Nope...that's way too young.

I must say, you seem to have a very mature worldview, though, for your age.

[wildhorses]

24. my life path number, silly!! it is 11...

here is my blurb:


Looks very decorative, no self-confident behaviour, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organiser, tends to philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership serious.


and my Indian sign is salmon

[RevolutionaryActs]

11. What do you want me for?

[ForrestGump]

20. Um....

I've got to be careful, answering questions like that.

[RevolutionaryActs]

26. Oh, pish. The Mods aren't looking.

[ForrestGump]

33. In that case...

meet me in an hour, behind the kudzu thread...




Act casual...

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

12. I'm a 5 :)

[ForrestGump]

21. At last

My love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

22. I'm a 7, but you're the wrong sex. Sorry. nt

[ForrestGump]

25. That's okay. Let's go cruising for chicks

of appropriate Life Path number...

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

29. Alright, I'm down with that. nt

[u4ic]

23. You old man, you!

My candles would only boil 4.57 oz!

I'm a one.

[ForrestGump]

28. You whippersnapper!

You kids, today...why, I boiled 4.57 oz of water while I walked, both ways uphill, barefoot in the snow and...well...anyway...




At last
My...um..other love has come along
My lonely days are -- as would seem abundantly clear -- over
And life is like...uh...getting difficult to juggle

[u4ic]

31. Serenade me with

Suspicious Minds...

and I'm all yours...

[ForrestGump]

34. You are aware, aren't you, that saying this on DU makes it a

binding contract?


Our engagement song


She's mine! All mine! Mine, I tell you!!!

[u4ic]

41. We can get

Heidi to paint our wedding portrait on velvet!

[ForrestGump]

42. You know, it's actually rather scary

how we think so much alike...



And I think I may very well have found just the place for the Happy Day, right here in Vegas:



It's drive-through, it's open 24 hours, and it's got Elvis! What more could you ask for?

[u4ic]

44. But what if

I mistake HIM for my new husband, and honeymoon with the wrong guy???

[ForrestGump]

45. Good point

I mean, even having the honeymoon video as a souvenir just wouldn't be the same.



That does it. I think we need to have Manuel, the waiter from Barcelona in Fawlty Towers, perform the ceremony.

[u4ic]

46. Uh oh...

I think it's about time we had our first 'tiff'...

I want GERALDINE!!



The Vicar of Dibley!!

[ForrestGump]

48. Yes, dear

Whatever you say, dear.






Tiff averted






Though -- point of fact -- I must point out that that's a 'jpg,' not a 'tiff'

[u4ic]

51. "Yes, my dear"

"Whatever you say, my dear".

So...you've been married before?

[ForrestGump]

52. Yes, my queen.

Here...let me refresh those rose petals.




that's what did in my marriage -- she was allergic to those %*&#$%* rose petals....

[u4ic]

54. Uh oh...

I just found out...

It's been something growing inside of me; it was tiny; unnoticeable, at first; then came the sick to my stomach feelings. It progressed into feeling heavy, weighed down, I felt bloated with concern...I needed to take the weight off my poor sore legs...oh, boy, could I use a foot rub...

I'm....

I'm.......








a 2.

[ForrestGump]

55. It's okay, baby...

There's nothing we can't overcome, together. Nothing!

I don't care if you're a 2! There's...there's...there's twice as much of you to love.

We can work it out!

And several other Beatles song titles!





Please? At least let me rub your feet one more time, for old times's sake?




Baby?



Baby?






Hello?

Helllloooooooo?????

[u4ic]

56. She

runs to the top of the hill, searching wildly.

"Gumpy? Gumpy? GUMPY??!!"

Her eyes begin to water...her legs start to shake...does this mean? Does this mean...



the end???

True love is SUPPOSED to conquer all!

[ForrestGump]

57. All is lost. His legs start to water...his eyes start to shake...

...and who is that fool on the hill?






Could it be?

It's her!

"u4ic!," he yells, having only recently learned that her name was not pronounced 'yoo-four-eye-cee,' "u4ic!!"

"I'm down here! Down by the Snakes On A Plane thread! And, yes, there is a got-damned thing we can do about it!

[u4ic]

58. Gumpy!!

G_u_m_p_y!!

Her eyes are mists of delight; her heart is about to pound right out of her ample bosom; her breath, heavy with anticipation - she darts towards him; her lust is maddening...

He is within sight. She is running faster, harder, than any human being has ever run in one of these damn velvet gowns...make sure to wear capris and runners next time...

and...

then...




"Oooooh". "I've...fallen and..I... can't get up!"

For her love, for her one true love, she makes an effort.

Well - if you first don't succeed, try, try again!

She pushes herself up; she feels a faint hint of breath around her ever so elegant toes.

She breaks into a smile, and lays down, snuggling into the plush lawn. "Forrest, hunny, why you're tickling my feet...." giggles.

She basks, she enjoys...

She turns to give him a seductive eye and notices....SNAKES!!!

Not Gumpy, but....SNAKES!!! THEY'RE NOT ON THE FUCKING PLANE!!!

"Gumpy, save me, G.U.M.P.Y...."

[ForrestGump]

59. Yoo-four-eye....I mean...u4ic!!

Such relief, flooding through him much like after you grab an electric fence and then let go, but much more pleasant an experience, overall.

Yes, at last, together...again! And then...





...and then he couldn't get past the bit about her ample bosom.

'scuse me. I'll be right back and try that again.

[ForrestGump]

60. Oh, great...

She put 'lust' in there, too.

I'll just need a moment more to compose myself...

[ForrestGump]

61. Yoo-fore-eye....I mean...u4ic!!

Such relief, flooding through him much like after you grab an electric fence and then let go, but much more pleasant an experience, overall.

Yes, at last, together...again! And then...

...well, there's some stuff about lusty bosoms, but I think we'll just gloss over that part, for now, and get straight to the bit where he sees her stumble and plop down amidst a nest of motherf***ing snakes! Snakes on a babe! Not just any snakes, but motherf***king snakes -- of the species Lower Boreal motherf***ing snake (Gotdamnsnakus motherf***us), to be exact.

"Quick," he shouts, as he runs toward her in his lime green capris and red slippers, "tear your dress off!"

But she didn't fall for it. So much for lusty bosoms. I think she was just leading me on with that whole thing, you know, about the bosom and the lust, and all that, not to mention her elegant toes...

But I digress.

"Hurry, my sweet!" He throws her a lifesaver, but it was not her favorite flavor and she threw it back. "Here I come to save the day!"

And then he falls. Goes down hard. He has that trapped feeling, sort of like when he found himself alone in a thread with GoPsUx and several pails of strawberry yogurt, but this time it's more confined to his ankle.

he looks down.


"Yaaahhhhh!," he shrieks in terror. "Kudzu! The kudzu got me! Please, my love...please...shake off those silly snakes and save me!"

[amitten]

27. Here I am.

Same numbers (1,5 and 7).

I am a Cedar tree!

[ForrestGump]

30. Hi!

Though, I must say, I'm rather concerned about all this, given what woodpeckers naturally tend to do to cedar trees...





At last
My love -- no, not that one or the other one, but yet another, and I am sincere when I say that -- has come along
My lonely days are well and truly, to say the least, over
And life is like...well...really confusing...(but good)

[amitten]

36. Your woodpecker is no match for me.

Don't you even TRY, buddy.

When I answer your posts, I feel like I'm talking to Elvis.

[ForrestGump]

38. Well, you know, baby...you got me all shook up

Hey, trembling in fear is shaking, too!

[Momgonepostal]

32. I'm a 5 but I'm married

And can I confess, I didn't even know what a life path number was until I googled it just now?

[ForrestGump]

35. It's still nice to see you

I'm not much up on this stuff, either...it's all the fault of that GoPsUx fellow...

[merh]

37. I'm not sure my number

I just know that I am laughing my ass off reading this thread

[ForrestGump]

39. I gotcha number

[merh]

40. you tease!

[ForrestGump]

43. I yam

what I yam...

[merh]

47. You are such

a sweet tater!

[ForrestGump]

49. I yam

a little starchy.

[NMMNG]

50. Sorry, I'm an 8

And you're the wrong gender anyway.

[ForrestGump]

53. By coincidence, I just 8, too

Wrong gender?



I thought we could overcome any obstacle...I guess I was wrong.

[BlueIris]

62. Hee. I love that site. What's your tree?

I'm a poplar. I'm also a 9 (soul urge number 22).

Sorry, I guess I can't help you.

[ForrestGump]

63. Your #9 (number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9...) may preclude you

from brightening my life in that way, but I can't deny the attractive power of your 'soul urge'

I think my tree was an apple....I'll have to take the test again because I even forgot what number I was (I really did post this thread accidentally, thinking I was answering the thread created by GoPsUx, that has a link to the site).



EDIT: yep, apple tree, and my Life Path number is 1.

[BlueIris]

64. I've never met an apple.

I keep meeting limes, oaks and cedars, though. Damn cedars. So confident.

[ForrestGump]

65. I had a cedar come at me, right here

Fortunately, I deployed my woodpecker on her and saved the day.

My Native American Zodiac sign seems to be woodpecker....

It's nice to meet a poplar!



Does this mean I might get to have lunch at the table where all the pop'lar kids sit?

[BlueIris]

66. Well, poplars are kinda loners, so, no.

And I HATE my "Native American 'zodiac'" animal. It's a beaver. Yeah, it's about as great as it sounds.

[ForrestGump]

67. Beaver?

I swear I'm not going to say a thing.

Promise.

I shoulda been a poplar, though, I think. Maybe if I trim my apple tree branches just right, and think tall...

[BlueIris]

68. Yeah. Although it does fit me personality wise,

and I don't even mean that in a slightly dirty way...it's a beaver. It's bad enough that I live in the beaver state. People are always making comments.

[ForrestGump]

70. Really, I'm behaving myself

What do they say about a beaver's attributes?











*snicker*



(stop that)

[NewWaveChick1981]

71. Wish I could help you out... mine's an 8.

[ForrestGump]

73. Well, so is mine, but

Oh.



Sorry about that.

7+1=8 -- just means you're twice as right for me...

[SOteric]

72. A woman?!

Won't that take too much away from your 'staring lovingly at your reflection in the mirror" time?

[ForrestGump]

74. Well, she could

hold the mirror.

Right?





Like they say, behind every great man's mirror is a great woman...