Who's the poet laureate of bad song lyrics?

[Bossy Monkey]

Poll question: Who's the poet laureate of bad song lyrics?

[jobycom]

1. Bernie Taupin? What's your criteria for bad?

Candle in the wind, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, Tiny Dancer, Empty Garden, Your Song, Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me...

Okay, yeah, he also wrote "We Built this City" and "These Dreams," but everyone has bad days.

Add Paul Williams to your list.

[Bossy Monkey]

3. Good catch on Empty Garden. Hell, I even like We Built This City

but that's what got him on the list. Writing the song that leads every Most Hated Song poll will do that. I did add Paul Williams; even he had one great day, though (Three Dog Night, "Out in the Country"). I guess every bad songwriter has good days, too.

[jobycom]

7. I like it, too, but it's a bad song. Paul Williams also wrote

"Rainbow Connection," a song it is impossible for any decent person to dislike.

[idgiehkt]

12. what scares me about Taupin

is that Elton John had to pay someone to write those shitty lyrics for him. They are so bad...to think he couldn't come up with them himself...???

[jobycom]

13. I guess I should ask who you think is good, then?

[idgiehkt]

36. um...

Dylan, Springsteen, people like that.

[jobycom]

45. Ah

Whiney, depressed white American men.

[idgiehkt]

55. lol

whiney?

to each their own, lol.

[jobycom]

56. I like 'em

I just want variety. Taupin writes about inner emotions, or everyday life. Dylan wrote about society's ills--more intellect than emotion. Same with Springsteen, with some exceptions. I'm not always in the mood for "Forty-one shots," or "Like a Rolling Stone." I don't think either is better than Taupin in terms of lyrics. Well, except that Taupin seems to release stuff that the others wouldn't. But at their best, Taupin's lyrics are as as good as Dylan's, just with a different focus. "Levon" or "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" were no less sophisticated than Dylan or Springsteen, they just weren't as political.

[Throd]

20. He wrote "We Built This City"?

Well I'll be damned. It must have been on a dare.

[regnaD kciN]

46. ...and "These Dreams"...?????

:wow:

Actually, I like that one, but I never dreamed Bernie wrote it.

[jpgray]

2. Pete Sinfield, Jon Anderson

Not really, but BOY prog rock lyrics tend to be incredibly lame.

[regnaD kciN]

49. Not a lifetime award...

...but, boy, do the lyrics for Roundabout ever reach a pinnacle of incoherent badness.

I'll be the round about
The words will make you out 'n' out
You change the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and in and out the valley

The music dance and sing
They make the children really ring
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and in and out the valley

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there
One mile over we'll be there and we'll see you
Ten true summers we'll be there and laughing too
Twenty four before my love you'll see I'll be there with you

I will remember you
Your silhouette will charge the view
Of distance atmosphere
Call it morning driving thru the sound and even in the valley

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there
One mile over we'll be there and we'll see you
Ten true summers we'll be there and laughing too
Twenty four before my love you'll see I'll be there with you

Along the drifting cloud the eagle searching down on the land
Catching the swirling wind the sailor sees the rim of the land
The eagle's dancing wings create as weather spins out of hand
Go closer hold the land feel partly no more than grains of sand
We stand to lose all time a thousand answers by in our hand
Next to your deeper fears we stand
Surrounded by a millions years
I'll be the round about
The words will make you out 'n' out
I'll be the round about
The words will make you out 'n' out

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there
Twenty four before my love and I'll be there

I'll be the round about
The words will make you out n out
You change the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and in and out the valley

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there
One mile over we'll be there and we'll see you
Ten true summers we'll be there and laughing too
Twenty four before my love you'll see I'll be there with you

:crazy:

[arwalden]

4. Someone Left The Cake Out In The Rain.

[Bossy Monkey]

17. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! n/t

[Jed Dilligan]

5. I don't know who the songwriter was individually

but Toto had some really horrible lyrics. On your list, I'd vote Glenn Frey (mainly for "Sexy Girl.")

[Bossy Monkey]

9. I put up the ones responsible for "Africa," not to mention the band's

existence. Don't know about the other tunes; songwriting seems to have been largely shared within the band.

[Jed Dilligan]

15. Thanks... already voted but:

I know I must do what's right,
sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the SERengetEEEEEEEE......

Just a reminder for anyone who hasn't voted yet.

[rustydog]

6. Other: Barry Manilow

[Bossy Monkey]

10. He's up n/t

[izzybeans]

8. Scott Stapp

http://www.scottstapp.com/

[Bossy Monkey]

11. He's up n/t

[izzybeans]

14. I voted with arms wide open.

[Katina]

16. Janice Ian

teen angst UGH!

[tigereye]

18. incredibly sophisticated at the time (she was only15)

and she has gotten better and better....

[benny05]

41. Sorry, disagree

I liked "At Seventeen"

Same album, I also liked "In the Winter".

[Throd]

19. Jim Morrison

[PassingFair]

28. I'm with you on this "artist", Throd.

I'm internally groaning through all his work,
and NOT in a good way.

:banghead:

[CanuckAmok]

35. "If they say I never loved you, you know they are A liar"?!?!?!

"They" is plural, fucker. "They" are "liars"; "they" are not "a liar".

I'm glad you're dead.

[PassingFair]

53. My brain is squirming like a toad....

just thinking about him!

:rofl:

[swag]

21. Bobby Goldsboro

Now with peachfuzz!

[MrsCheaplaugh]

22. I voted Manilow

but I'd like to add whoever wrote "Horse with No Name."

"The heat was hot?" How was the heat? Hot.

A seventh-grader could do better.

[mitchum]

23. Neil Diamond or Ani Defranco

[Bossy Monkey]

31. "but no one heard at all/ not even the chair" This is art!

Ok, it's useless schlock, but certainly high-sterical.:hi:

[saltpoint]

24. Donovan.

[PassingFair]

25. Only ONE vote for the POMPATUS of Steve Miller?

Billy Mack was a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the

"facts is".

All tremble before his rhyming reaches!

[Throd]

27. How about "Big Ol' Jedi Wino"

Which is basically a random list of American cities. Stay up late working on that one Steve?

[last_texas_dem]

34. I thought that was "Rock 'n Me"

Or does he do that city-listing thing in more than one song? Oh well, I really don't mind him as much as most of DU seems to. I don't think he took himself seriously, so I don't judge his music as if he did. A few of his biggest hits have been overplayed to the point that I wouldn't mind never hearing them again ("The Joker"), but he did some stuff that I like pretty well. "Take the Money and Run" is fun, and "Fly Like an Eagle" just sounds cool, goofy lyrics or not ("Shoe the children/ With no shoes on their feet.")

[regnaD kciN]

47. I went from Phoenix, Arizona, all the way to Tacoma...

...took one deep breath, and I wrote this song.

(Western Washingtonians will know what I mean about Tacoma's air. :evilgrin: )

Seriously (?), I think "Abracadabra" would be enough to guarantee election to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame extension in Hell, but I think you need to be more than just annoyingly bad for this poll...you need to be spectacularly bad, and Steve doesn't qualify.

[jobycom]

29. The problem with Steve Miller is that he's just bad. The poll is for the

"poet laureate" of bad lyrics, which implies that they are good in spite to their badness. Steve Miller was just bad.

[Bossy Monkey]

30. No, I just meant gigantic, career-long badness. But of course,

everything is open to interpretation.:)

[saltpoint]

26. Whoever wrote the lyrics to "God Bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood.

May lions maul him or her in the maw of hell forever and ever amen.

[Ouabache]

32. other, Bob Seger, all his shit is insipid

nt

[begin_within]

33. I'm a big Led Zeppelin fan, but I think their lyrics are generally stupid.

Their lyrics read like they were written by a 7th-grader. All the value in their work is in the music.

[CanuckAmok]

37. What's with you? No bustle in your hedgerow?

Shame on you!

[begin_within]

39. Guess not. Their lyrics do nothing for me. But I have all their albums.

[CanuckAmok]

40. I only have the first one.

Everything after that just makes me want to go to a highschool woodshop clas and drill-press my eardrums out.

[CrushTheDLC]

38. Sammy Hagar. Republican. Tequila Salesman. Cheese Ballad Writing Buffoon.

A few shining examples of Mr. Hagar's craft.....

Ooh, the last I seen your face
I swore that no one would take your place.
Now since you've been gone I've been feelin' bad, yeah
I'd come out to your place (but)
I'm afraid of your dad.......


Red is my lover, got it covered
Red is my number, sure as a coma
Red is my drummer, and I hear red thunder
Move over brother,
Red's a motherfu...(cker)

Some say money is bad for the soul
Bad for the rock, bad for the roll
Bad for the heart, bad for the brain
Bad for damn near everything, oh yeah!

Oh. Hey, it must be good for somethin'
Come on, pay the rent
(Yes)

Telephone, telefax, telefuckin' teletrash
Tell a cop, tell a friend, think we hit the stoney end
Nothin' left, nothin' right, now they want a bigger bite
Everybody wants some, everybody wants big money. Oh yeah!
They want big fat money
That's what I want, big fat money

Too much temptation, 'nuff to kill a generation
Space station, starvation, premature ejaculation
This ain't groovy, this ain't funky
It's on my back but it ain't my monkey, no! Oh yeah
Gimme some o' that big, big money
That's what I want, big fat money. Yo!
Big, big money!

Grow it long, shave it off
Life is hard, never soft
I need a change, I need it quick
Before it makes me sick

That's what's on my mind

(Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Now pay attention, watch your back
Pay your dues and stay on track
Got no room to second guess
Puts me under stress, oh Lord

I'm all feet up, watchin' TV
Someplace to feast my eyes, oh
Well, I've always tripped on commercials, yeah yeah
This one blew my mind, oh, uh, hey!

(Ooh) Tell me, who ya gonna call when you need that affection?
(Ooh) Ya got to have it quick (Got to have it quick)
(Ooh) Well just a-hang your love line in her direction. Whoa

All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh!
Yeah! All you bad, bad boys. Call her up on the spank line. Uh
Whoa! Oh!

Oh, and he's also good buddies with another certain right wing Freeper asshole.......

[benny05]

42. I liked "I can't Drive 55"

It rocks.

[enigmatic]

43. Two Words

Dennis DeYoung:

[PretzelzRule]

44. Oh that's easy

Morrissey. Seriously..."Hairdresser on Fire" anyone? Or "November Spawned A Monster"?

Amazing the way I liked that crap in my teens; thank god tastes evolve with age.

[SKKY]

48. Jewel...

"These hands are small, I know. But they're not yours they are my own." WTF is that??? CRAP!!!!

[peekaloo]

50. Lenny Kravitz!

*groan*

[Magrittes Pipe]

51. Robert Hunter

Jim Steinman's close, though. :scared:

[HEyHEY]

52. L.L. Cool J

[skooooo]

54. Bob Dylan makes no one's list.

And rightly so. He's the GREATEST!