ATTENTION FOOD NETWORK - you BETTER heed my call DAMMIT!

[matcom]

it is 5:30 pm EST. normally this is "news hour" but the "news" is terra terra Bush Bush etc..etc..etc..

now, i'm sure you will agree with me that that fact makes the "news" unwatchable.

soooooooooo, seems to me 5:30 pm EST is the BEST time to get some new recipes, watch a good chili contest or gaze at Mario's orange clogs for a half hour or so until i start cooking my OWN dinner.

and you choose to air Sandra Lee

look fuckwads. nobody gives a rat's ASS about her "friends cole-slaw recipe" that i just watched her make with CILANTRO

it's bad enough that she is currently wearing a cheerleader turtleneck in the fucking holy-lit kitchen that makes her look more fucking pure than the baby Jesus sucking on Mary's tit while using JUST the right amount of teeth. but at the end of this mindless store-bought measured 'cooking' she will give us 15 minutes of her "TableScape" which is supposed to dazzle us with dusty fake floral arrangements surrounding at LEAST one candle stick. for fucking low-fat cole-slaw .

oh great. now she is on to her "momma's POTATO salad"



and NEXT UP! RACHAEL RAY!!

[bigwillq]

1. Sandra's always on at 5:30 p.m. est

followed by an hour of 30 minute meals.

Enjoy!

[matcom]

3. NOW she is FRYING CHICKEN!

hope she breaks out the cornflakes

[bigwillq]

4. I hate Sandra

I never watch her.

But Rachael ...my lovely Rachael ...

[trof]

7. She DOES have a nice chest, though.

If I may be a sexist pig for just a moment here.
Thank you.

[bigwillq]

16. She has always reminded me of

Ann Coulter. I don't find Sandra attractive at all.

[DainBramaged]

2. What's a fuckwad?

[trof]

6. Think George W. Bush**.

[trof]

5. I just read your rant to Helen

and she collapsed into gales of laughter.
Nice rant.

Can you hang on until Alton Brown comes on?
I like his scientific approach.

[matcom]

8. my best to Helen

tell her i'm glad I could make her smile. next rant will be on the pure genious of the term.... BAM!

[trof]

11. Batman "BAM"...or Emeril "BAM"?

[matcom]

13. let Helen pick

[trof]

17. Emeril

BAM!

[trof]

9. Sandra sez: "You can use large pretzel sticks

for chopsticks and then eat 'em and there's NO dinnerware cleanup!"

[ThomCat]

10. How the hell did Sandra Lee get a cooking show?

And who the hell is the target audience for this shit?

[trof]

12. Professional cheerleaders.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. And horny men.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

14. Worse things could be done with cilantro

I saw a DUer once suggest making a cilantro MOJITO. Now, I'm not one of those cilantro haters, but I want my mojito as Jesus intended. With MINT! NO CILANTRO! Fuckin' Blasphemy, I tell ya.

I know you will understand.

[trof]

15. Cilantro tastes like chlorine to me.

I understand it's genetic.

[matcom]

18. yup. cilantro is the bane of all herbs

[trof]

31. Wow. You got the same gene as me.

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. cool - I can't stand it, either. it's almost painful in its taste.

Like eating needles and bleach.

[trof]

36. Like when you get water up your nose in an over-chlorinated swimming pool.

That's as close as I can come to what it tastes like to me.
Gee...me, you, and matcom.

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. That's a good description!

It doesn't smell at all natural. Smells like a Jersey chemical factory making cleaning supplies.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

30. Yeah, to me it just tastes like cilantro.

However, when I was at the health food store, the cilantro haters who worked there, wouldn't even go into the stock room if we just had a fresh case of cilantro come in.

[GOPisEvil]

19. Sandra Lee is an abomination unto the Lord.

[matcom]

20. yes.

but the Lord sucking on Mary's tit while using JUST the right amount of teeth

[GOPisEvil]

22. I feel like I'm going to hell just for reading that.

[matcom]

23. hey i DIDN'T say....

with JUST the right amount of teeth so Mary gets off too!

give me SOME credit!

[GOPisEvil]

24. OK, so we'll take the slow train to hell.

[matcom]

26. fuck

but we can't pack any gell product so it's REALLY gonna be a long ride!

[GOPisEvil]

28. You can PACK it, just have to check it...

...pretty soon we'll all have to fly nekkid.

[djeseru]

35. Weirdness.

I said the same thing to myself when reading the newest latest thing in terra alerts.

[GOPisEvil]

37. What a wasteful policy this is....

...all that perfectly useful stuff gone down the tubes. Idiots.

[mad-mommy]

21. I thought....

I thought cooking outside on the grill in pajamas(that I have not changed out of today) was pathetic.

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. She could at least have the courtesy to do the show naked.

The only good thing about her show is the gentle swaying and slight bouncing and heaving of her supple and firm cleavage.

In fact, even better would be just a naked close up of her amazing and godly mamallian protrusions as she drips and smears foodstuffs on them in total silence except the quiet music playing softly in the background. After 30 minutes, they roll the credits over a live shot of her eating a banana.

[matcom]

29. but what would become of her TABLE-SCAPE???

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. She'll eat the banana while lying on her back on the table-scape

Sometimes, Rachael Ray and Giada will join her.

[Zomby Woof]

34. Cilantro belongs in salsa

NOT cole slaw. I used to grow the stuff, and you have to respect it.

What's next? Oregano on my mac 'n cheese?

[trof]

38. Scientific tortillas. GO ALTON!

[GOPisEvil]

39. Alton is the man.

[trof]

40. He is that.

Took me a while to get used to his style.

[GOPisEvil]

41. I've been a geek about things my whole life.

I've liked his sense of humor and goofiness since the beginning.

If you've just GOTTA have mac and cheese in a hurry, his stove-top version is quick and tasty.

[Sanity Claws]

42. Why is an apricot running up the stairs?

It's a pretty apricot.

[6000eliot]

44. Cilantro is an evil weed grown by Satan in HELL!

That is all.

[Arugula Latte]

45. OMG! i lOvE CILaNtro!!ll!! I'ts HUGH!!ll1l11ll11!!

But Sandra Lee? She sucks like a Dyson! She probably doesn't know how to use Mediterranean sea salts in her semi-homemade crap!

[marzipanni]

46. Cilantro?

It seems that many have a passionate distaste for it-

http://www.ihatecilantro.com/taste.php