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ATTENTION FOOD NETWORK - you BETTER heed my call DAMMIT!

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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:40 PM
Original message
ATTENTION FOOD NETWORK - you BETTER heed my call DAMMIT!
it is 5:30 pm EST. normally this is "news hour" but the "news" is terra terra Bush Bush etc..etc..etc..

now, i'm sure you will agree with me that that fact makes the "news" unwatchable.

soooooooooo, seems to me 5:30 pm EST is the BEST time to get some new recipes, watch a good chili contest or gaze at Mario's orange clogs for a half hour or so until i start cooking my OWN dinner.

and you choose to air Sandra Lee :eyes:

look fuckwads. nobody gives a rat's ASS about her "friends cole-slaw recipe" that i just watched her make with CILANTRO :wtf:

it's bad enough that she is currently wearing a cheerleader turtleneck in the fucking holy-lit kitchen that makes her look more fucking pure than the baby Jesus sucking on Mary's tit while using JUST the right amount of teeth. but at the end of this mindless store-bought measured 'cooking' she will give us 15 minutes of her "TableScape" which is supposed to dazzle us with dusty fake floral arrangements surrounding at LEAST one candle stick. for fucking low-fat cole-slaw :eyes:.

oh great. now she is on to her "momma's POTATO salad"

:argh:

and NEXT UP! RACHAEL RAY!!
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:42 PM
Response to Original message
1. Sandra's always on at 5:30 p.m. est
followed by an hour of 30 minute meals.

Enjoy! :)
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:44 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. NOW she is FRYING CHICKEN!
hope she breaks out the cornflakes :bounce:
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:47 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. I hate Sandra
Edited on Thu Aug-10-06 04:48 PM by bigwillq
I never watch her. :mad:

But Rachael ...my lovely Rachael ... :bounce:
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:49 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. She DOES have a nice chest, though.
If I may be a sexist pig for just a moment here.
Thank you.
:-)
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:00 PM
Response to Reply #7
16. She has always reminded me of
Ann Coulter. I don't find Sandra attractive at all.
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DainBramaged Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:42 PM
Response to Original message
2. What's a fuckwad?
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:48 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. Think George W. Bush**.
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:48 PM
Response to Original message
5. I just read your rant to Helen
and she collapsed into gales of laughter.
Nice rant.

Can you hang on until Alton Brown comes on?
I like his scientific approach.
:-)
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:53 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. my best to Helen
tell her i'm glad I could make her smile. next rant will be on the pure genious of the term.... BAM!
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Batman "BAM"...or Emeril "BAM"?
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:56 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. let Helen pick
:D
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:00 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. Emeril
BAM!
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:54 PM
Response to Original message
9. Sandra sez: "You can use large pretzel sticks
for chopsticks and then eat 'em and there's NO dinnerware cleanup!"
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:54 PM
Response to Original message
10. How the hell did Sandra Lee get a cooking show?
And who the hell is the target audience for this shit?
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:56 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Professional cheerleaders.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:10 PM
Response to Reply #12
27. And horny men.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:58 PM
Response to Original message
14. Worse things could be done with cilantro
I saw a DUer once suggest making a cilantro MOJITO. Now, I'm not one of those cilantro haters, but I want my mojito as Jesus intended. With MINT! NO CILANTRO! Fuckin' Blasphemy, I tell ya.

I know you will understand.
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:59 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Cilantro tastes like chlorine to me.
I understand it's genetic.
:shrug:
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:00 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. yup. cilantro is the bane of all herbs
:puke:
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #18
31. Wow. You got the same gene as me.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:18 PM
Response to Reply #18
33. cool - I can't stand it, either. it's almost painful in its taste.
Like eating needles and bleach.
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:59 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. Like when you get water up your nose in an over-chlorinated swimming pool.
That's as close as I can come to what it tastes like to me.
Gee...me, you, and matcom.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 07:07 PM
Response to Reply #36
43. That's a good description!
It doesn't smell at all natural. Smells like a Jersey chemical factory making cleaning supplies.
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #15
30. Yeah, to me it just tastes like cilantro.
However, when I was at the health food store, the cilantro haters who worked there, wouldn't even go into the stock room if we just had a fresh case of cilantro come in.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:03 PM
Response to Original message
19. Sandra Lee is an abomination unto the Lord.
x(
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:04 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. yes.
but the Lord sucking on Mary's tit while using JUST the right amount of teeth
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. I feel like I'm going to hell just for reading that.
:D
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. hey i DIDN'T say....
with JUST the right amount of teeth so Mary gets off too!

give me SOME credit! :D
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. OK, so we'll take the slow train to hell.
:D
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:10 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. fuck
but we can't pack any gell product so it's REALLY gonna be a long ride! x(
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:13 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. You can PACK it, just have to check it...
...pretty soon we'll all have to fly nekkid. :eyes:
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djeseru Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #28
35. Weirdness.
I said the same thing to myself when reading the newest latest thing in terra alerts. :eyes:
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #35
37. What a wasteful policy this is....
...all that perfectly useful stuff gone down the tubes. Idiots. :eyes:
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mad-mommy Donating Member (884 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:06 PM
Response to Original message
21. I thought....
I thought cooking outside on the grill in pajamas(that I have not changed out of today) was pathetic.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
25. She could at least have the courtesy to do the show naked.
The only good thing about her show is the gentle swaying and slight bouncing and heaving of her supple and firm cleavage.

In fact, even better would be just a naked close up of her amazing and godly mamallian protrusions as she drips and smears foodstuffs on them in total silence except the quiet music playing softly in the background. After 30 minutes, they roll the credits over a live shot of her eating a banana.
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #25
29. but what would become of her TABLE-SCAPE???
:rofl:

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. She'll eat the banana while lying on her back on the table-scape
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Sometimes, Rachael Ray and Giada will join her.
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Zomby Woof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 05:42 PM
Response to Original message
34. Cilantro belongs in salsa
NOT cole slaw. I used to grow the stuff, and you have to respect it.

What's next? Oregano on my mac 'n cheese? :grr:

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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
38. Scientific tortillas. GO ALTON!
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 06:22 PM
Response to Reply #38
39. Alton is the man.
:thumbsup:
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #39
40. He is that.
Took me a while to get used to his style.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 06:25 PM
Response to Reply #40
41. I've been a geek about things my whole life.
I've liked his sense of humor and goofiness since the beginning.

If you've just GOTTA have mac and cheese in a hurry, his stove-top version is quick and tasty.
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Sanity Claws Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
42. Why is an apricot running up the stairs?
It's a pretty apricot.
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6000eliot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 07:29 PM
Response to Original message
44. Cilantro is an evil weed grown by Satan in HELL!
Edited on Thu Aug-10-06 07:30 PM by 6000eliot
That is all.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
45. OMG! i lOvE CILaNtro!!ll!! I'ts HUGH!!ll1l11ll11!!
:9 :9 :9

But Sandra Lee? She sucks like a Dyson! She probably doesn't know how to use Mediterranean sea salts in her semi-homemade crap!
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marzipanni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 08:10 PM
Response to Original message
46. Cilantro?
It seems that many have a passionate distaste for it- ;)

http://www.ihatecilantro.com/taste.php
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