Any suggestions on how to get an Autograph from...

[WannaBeGrumpy]

my favorite baseball player? I'm going to a Tigers game in Sept. and I really want an autograph but I'm not sure of the best way to get his attention and get one. HELP ME!!!

[ZombieNixon]

1. Tranquilizer darts

Kidnap him, tie him up in a women's bathroom somewhere and don't let him go until he gives you an autograph.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

3. Yeah that was my original plan...

but i'm not sure how to pull it off!

[ZombieNixon]

5. You'll need a skunk, too.

Throw it out into the middle of the crowd to scare everyone else away.

Better get a biosuit as well.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

7. I'll need at least 15 skunks....

and a getaway car!

[ZombieNixon]

9. Oh, no two skunks will do fine.

Most terrifying creature on the planet, you know...toss one and use the other to fend off the cops.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

11. They have to be trained though...

so I can get them back and reuse them. You never know when trained skunks will come in handy!

[Jamastiene]

59. Train a squirrel to do it.

They are very smart, you know?

[LostinVA]

60. Thee can do anything -- even sing liek Bucky Covington

[Jamastiene]

61. How much have you drunk tonight?

You type like I do when I've kicked back a few. Are you sure you aren't from Rockingham, NC?

[LeftyMom]

2. No clue.

I know your best bet with football is to go to training camp or to wait by the tunnel after the game.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

4. I was thinking of waiting by the outfield like an hour before the game...

and shouting to him!

[ohiosmith]

6. Go to batting practice. The players will usually sign autographs

before and after.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

8. That's what I hear

I guess my best bet is just get to the field early and be polite

[warrens]

10. Stand near the home dugout

And be a cute kid or a cuter female.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

12. Im gonna ahve to go for cuter female...

thats how i got his attention last time. Only that time I didnt get an autograph

[Ohio Joe]

13. Years ago..

I was a baseball card dealer, and I still follow the hobby (though I do not participate). The way I have heard to get the best results is to send a request to the player courtesy of the ball club.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

14. i may do that

[Nickster]

43. Kinda along those lines, when I was a yungen I used to sketch pictures

of the player's picture from the baseball card and send it to the player through the club's address. I figured that would be unique enough to stand out among the other requests. I got a few autographs that way. The favorite one I ever got was a personal postcard from Tommy Lasorda.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

45. That would be supercool... only ...

I cant draw. And I would be afraid to draw for fear of disfiguring his beautiful face!

[Nickster]

47. Well, I was only a kid, so I'm sure mine weren't very good. Just something

different. Try to think of something unique that you can do well. Think of it like a resume, you want to catch someone's eye out of the tons of other fan letters, just like catching the eye of an employer with your resume.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

48. Yeah...well i caught his eye at the game i went to before...

just sitting in the crowd. I was thinkin of having the pic we took of him that day signed!

[Oeditpus Rex]

15. What do people do with autographs, anyway?

I got a couple from ballplayers when I was a kid, before they used gloves. I was like all "Wow!" for a couple days. Then I stuck 'em in a drawer and forgot about 'em.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

21. well it's more the fact that I'm in love with him.....

than the autograph but it helps

[jobycom]

16. Does he have a parent or favorite pet you can kidnap?

[WannaBeGrumpy]

22. No he's pretty much a loner...

he has kids though but I think they are in Florida with his ex wife!

[jobycom]

29. Kids I draw the line at--you're on your own

[WannaBeGrumpy]

36. yeah not a good idea to steal kids....

might be hard to explain to the cops "well you see officer....."

[jobycom]

39. Especially if they are old enough to talk

"That's her, Ociffer! She kitnabbed me!"

[WannaBeGrumpy]

40. Lol...but it would probably...

be half in Spanish so it could pass as babbling!

[Initech]

17. Easy - get there early.

The best bet is to get to the game early. There's usually a half-hour window between when batting practice is finished and the ground crew starts setting up the field, and the players will on occasion come over and start signing away.

Oh and go Tigers!

[WannaBeGrumpy]

23. That's what I'm hoping for....

and darn straight Go Tigers. World Series 06 in Detroit

[Initech]

34. They're doing better than the Angels this point.

My ideal world series this year would be Tigers - Mets.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

37. Yeah I've been hearing a lot of people ....

saying that. It would definitely be a game to watch.

[bigwillq]

18. Go to the game early

and catch them during batting practice. Most players will be happy to sign. They usually do. It happens all the time.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

24. I hope so...

I'll just be rally cute and polite!

[bigwillq]

38. Cute won't be a problem!

Good luck. Hope you get the 'graph you want!

[WannaBeGrumpy]

41. ..or the man I want...

[bigwillq]

46. So who is this man?

[WannaBeGrumpy]

49. Magglio Ordonez

Only the most gorgeuos cleanup hitter the Detroit Tigers have ever had!

[bigwillq]

50. Oh yeah!

I think he's a cutie too!
I have a thang for Latin Men!

Ok, I feel a bit strange talking about men with Mrs. G's daughter. I think I'll stop now!

[WannaBeGrumpy]

51. Latin Boys are the best...

dont worry everything I said here is the things Ive said to other people in front of her. Its actually her fault that I love him. She just had to point out that she was staring at me between plays.

[bigwillq]

52. I agree

Latin Boys are the best!

I need to go give my boyfriend a hug. Hang on.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

53. lol cheers to that...

nothing hotter than a venezuelan guy sweating in the outfield!

[bigwillq]

54. One of the reasons why

I love sports! Hot sweaty men in tight uniforms!

[WannaBeGrumpy]

55. Exactly...and supercool hats...

and a determined look of concentration but a tiny smile when they make the right play!

[progmom]

19. they used to have "picture days" - all the players would come out

...and you could take their pics and (in some cases) get an autograph.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

25. They just had one about 3 weeks ago...

and I couldn't get tickets.

[Whoa_Nelly]

20. In the past, have stood by where the players come out onto the field

And snag'em for an autograph while they go out to warm up. 'Course, you have to get there early and be one of the first in line to get into the park.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

26. That's what I'm thinking...

I'll just act cute and polite and he won't be able to resist.

[ScreamingMeemie]

27. and PURE...don't forget pure...

pull up your pants... pull down your shirt... wear a belt...

[WannaBeGrumpy]

28. He already ackowledged that I existed....

so I think I was fine the way I was.



EEK....YOU'VE INFILTRATED!!!!

[ScreamingMeemie]

30. I'VE infiltrated???

I'VE infiltrated???

[WannaBeGrumpy]

31. OK OK so I was the ORIGINAL infiltrator.....

but still...EEK

[WannaBeGrumpy]

32. HAHA I got you.....

you have nothing to say to THAT!!!

[ScreamingMeemie]

33. Go to bed.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

35. MAKE ME!!!!!

why you want me go to bed. I a baby who wants to stay up.. WAHHHHH!!!!!

[ScreamingMeemie]

42. You a baby alright...

sigh...

[WannaBeGrumpy]

44. Whatever....It what I do

I think we stink

[WannaBeGrumpy]

56. GOTCHA AGAIN!!!!!

triple word score

[ScreamingMeemie]

57. ...or shameless self thread kick....

One is to wonder.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

58. I AM OFFENDED THAT YOU WOULD SAY SUCH A THING !!!

ok maybe a little bit