joke thread

[Bombero1956]

Two bananas are lying on a river bank, a turd floats by and says "come on in the waters fine" the first banana says to the second banana "do you believe that shit"?

[mykpart]

1. Mr. and Mrs. Carrot were in an accident.

Mr. Carrot was injured and taken to the hospital. After the doctor had seen him, he told Mrs. Carrot: "Your husband is going to live, but he'll be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

[MsKandice01]

2. What do birds do when they're sick?

They go and get tweetment.

[mykpart]

3. A skydiver jumps out of the plane and his parachute won't open.

As he's falling he sees another man going straight up in the air. He yells up to him, "Do you know how to get this chute to open?" The guy yells down, "No. Do you know anything about propane tanks?"

[Smooth Operator]

4. what goes peck, peck, bang

a chicken in a minefield