Dear "Maura": I found your private Journal in a used book store.

[Sugar Smack]

I bought it. It was shelved in the "New Arrivals" section and I wondered how it got there. The oversized paperback was called "The Artist's Way Morning Pages Journal", so I had an inkling of what was in there. "The Artist's Way" program insists you write 3 pages stream-of-consciousness every morning before you do anything else; the result being a clearer head.

So, I picked it up and glanced through it, and here you'd written TWELVE PAGES densely-packed with your thoughts, secrets and frightening circumstances! The rest of the big book was blank, so my assumption is that you kept it up for four days and either dropped the idea or started a new notebook. The Artist's Way is a pretty good program and I assume you read the first book.

Naturally, the voyeur in me was intrigued enough to take your diary to the counter and pull out my wallet. I showed the girl at the register how you'd filled the first 12 pages, and her eyes flew open wide. She turned the book so she could see it better, and we read little snippets of it silently. She sold it to me half-price "because it was written in", if you can believe it. When I got home I pored thru it eagerly. Damn. You were facing some big things. Your penmanship got a little crazy at some points (understandably) and I had to decipher it. You say you were "alone" during all of this, yet I saw the names of many people, presumably friends, in the book. Still, I know you were depressed and confused. You're also a swimmer, like me. I think that helps your mind a lot, swimming. I'm glad you weren't just sitting by yourself all that time.

Anyway, we're always hardest on ourselves for our mistakes. I swear, I've kicked the crap out of myself for things I'd only shrug at if others did them. I've seen the bright side of other people's issues. Just not as easy done as said. I still wonder how it happened that your diary ended up in a public place. Maybe someone else found it and put it there? Did you forget you'd written so intensely in it? How many people saw it before I picked it up?

I hope you're doing well now.

[asthmaticeog]

1. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you're a "Found" fan?

If so, mad ups to ya. :toast: Some of my all time favorite reads have been loose leaf screeds & sincere-but-horrid love poems found stashed in the sleeves of thrift-store albums and suchlike.

[Sugar Smack]

4. O, HELL yes!

I love "Found". The integrity of the notes lets you peek at a pure thought process. The halfway-torn notes are the most intriguing & vexing. I also think the site's owner does a good job in naming the notes. Last year, I went into an antique store straight to the bookshelves. People had stuck old advertisements in these books, lists, phone numbers, and if I got lucky, letters. When I saw the latter, I'd read it and then slip it back into the book before shelving it again.

In my Journal, the Blog List I collected has "Found" on it. It also has "PostSecret", "Grocery Lists.com"(a good one because lots of personal addenda included), "Things to do Lists" and a couple of other sites. :toast: :toast: :bounce:

[asthmaticeog]

6. "pure thought process"

Exactly. People are more openly themselves, I think, when they're writing something they think nobody else will see. That sort of thing can't be contrived or forced, it has to be happened-upon.

[Sugar Smack]

8. I think the person who started that site's a genius.

Their interpretation of the notes and the blurbs written by the people who found them are impressive. This one was simply called "Resolutions".



That was found near a parking lot dumpster.

[myrna minx]

2. Oh Sugar...

What a thoughtful post. I accidental left my journal at a food court. :blush: I only hope that someone as kind as you found it.

[Sugar Smack]

5. Oh, you're sweet. Do you know that I did that once, too?

I was extremely lucky; one of my friends found it and while I wasn't in the dorm room, she placed it neatly on my bed with some flowers she'd picked on top of it. My face had done a slow, hot burn ALL day wondering where it had been.

My personal things are mostly written out as lists, so I'm really the only person who can add cohesion & sense to them. It wouldn't take much to break the "code" or follow my thoughts, though.

:D

I'm curious, was your journal full? Wasn't it an enormous loss to you? I'll bet it was. :hug:

[myrna minx]

9. Yeah it was full. Whomever found it

would have stepped into a world of heartbreak. My boyfriend broke up with me by telling me that he had just eloped and his wife was pregnant. My heart was totally shattered. The rest of my life was a total mess as well. I can't imagine what anyone would have thought had they poured through the pages. It's not as though I had my name on it or anything, but I would go to this court for lunch most days and scribble out my late 20's angst. I didn't go back to the food court again, because I would know who found it by the look of pity from across the room. :hi: I had to just let it go and turn it into a metaphor. I felt liberated after that. :hug:

[Sugar Smack]

13. Good Lord.

That's HORRIBLE. What a totally rotten and shitty thing he did. You know, journals and diaries have always been essential to me particularly when a scumbag shows up. The act of writing itself had a tonic effect on me. But your situation was an extreme example of the asshole behavior on his part. I think it is human nature for people to want to read the secrets of others, if only to acquire a sense of what it would be like to be someone else for a day/week/month.

I probably would have gone back into the food court (out of my own desperation to find the journal). But I also understand a trauma like that would have suppressed me a little.

:pals:

[myrna minx]

14. Yeah...it was a real lesson in betrayal but I learned a great

deal from the experience.

Who knows, the person who found my journal may have been going through something similar and didn't feel alone. Perhaps someone just whisked it into the trash. I guess I could speculate all day. :shrug:

I find it quite compelling when I find note pressed into old book, or when I read a rather personal inscription. I think it brings out our humanity when we have a small window into the unfiltered feelings and dreams of strangers. :hug: :hi:

[Sugar Smack]

16. Yes- this is why I love "Found" so much.

Sometimes it's a note with no context that leaves it up to your imagination. Sometimes, the context is all in the note itself. The one I posted a little downthread made me laugh because of the note itself, that it was probably hung in a corridor somewhere, and lastly, the paper it was printed on.

:rofl:

[myrna minx]

19. Thanks for introducing me to "Found."

I hadn't heard of this site before. :rofl: Re Your post down thread: You're right, the paper that it is written on makes it all the more hilarious. :rofl:

[Sugar Smack]

21. It can be so funny.

I'm glad you like it! Here's a cutie:

[miss_american_pie]

3. You? Rock.

Seriously.

[Sugar Smack]

7. You--

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Coming from you, that really, really makes my day. Thank you!

[Bullwinkle925]

10. This is intriguing -

could you fill me in on "Found", etc?

:hi:

[Sugar Smack]

11. Sure, here you go! This is the link for "Found":

http://foundmagazine.com/

It wouldn't be the great site it is without so many people's contributions. "Found" features personal notes and mysterious findings scribbled on just about anything- envelopes, loose-leaf missives, notes on the backs of reciepts, etc. When a person fins one on the ground or lying around somewhere, he or she sends it to that website where it's published & open to interpretation.



:D

[Bullwinkle925]

12. Thank you......

very fun site, indeed!!

[Sugar Smack]

15. OMG- This one's hysterical!

:rofl:

[tigereye]

17. that's really neat, Sugar

I like that you are writing back to her and hope that she is well. Found stuff is very interesting.

[Sugar Smack]

18. Hi, tiger!!

:loveya: Thank you so much for that. I could not BELIEVE it when I first picked up that journal. It's like -This could never happen. I even glanced around the store once as if there had been some mistake.

Look at this priceless little jewel from "Found":



:rofl: :hi:

[Sugar Smack]

20. And this one:

:spray:

[Dangerously Amused]

22. You know what?

I adore you. I really do. I love your attitude and your spirit, your creativity, your talent, your intellect, your insight and your compassion. Every post of yours brightens my day. Seriously.




This is me, if I were a guy, reading a Sugar Smack post:

[Sugar Smack]

24. OHMYGOD! I'm saving your post forever!

Did you know I am just in tears laughing right now about that pic? LOL!:rofl:

I love you. Thank you so much for that- for all of it. You are very special, DA. I want you to know I really think you stand out. You have quality.

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :yourock:

[ulysses]

23. neat post.

:thumbsup:

[Sugar Smack]

25. Thanks, ulysses.

I can't imagine how I'd be if my personal thoughts were so out there in public. I haven't written in the rest of the book; I've just left it as it is.:-)

[no name no slogan]

26. Sugar, you are an amazing woman

You truly are. You never cease to amaze me.

I am your biggest fan. And I value the times we've spent together. And I'm so glad you are in a good place, because you deserve the best.

:hug: :loveya:

[Sugar Smack]

27. OMG, you revived Maura!

*LOL* Thank you. I had almost almost forgot unless I was looking over my Journal. I'm glad that you saw it, because you were right there with me in the book store when I got it, you knew what it meant to me to find it.

Remember my saying to you, "This kind of stuff only happens to me when you're around"?



:D :woohoo: :hug: