Middle-age rules!

[supernova]

When I read the other thread about being middle-aged sucks.. I gotta wonder.

I turned 44 a couple of weeks ago. yeah, I'm overweight and must do something about it... right after I finish this bag of habenero Doritos. But most people tell me I'm pretty or that they like my eyes. Or my rather wild mane of blonde.

But the part that got me was the "feeling and being invisible" part and having your name wiped off the reservations list at the restaurant.

I have to say that the opposite is true for me. I've felt invisble my whole life and now... not so much. I find it quite easy to get noticed if I want to. I don't know what it is... maybe I have more self-confidence than I used to. Maybe I'm more assertive. Actually I just don't care what people think anymore. A huge relief. I look people in the eye. I'm short, so I have been known to, at crowded bars for example, practically stand on the bar so the bartender can see me.

I guess my point is, if you're feeling invisible...

Make some DAMN NOISE!

edit: mane not main... damn homophones

[supernova]

1. Kick

[Ivan Sputnik]

2. Yes

A lot of it is attitude, how you carry yourself and "presence". Wallflowers tend to be overlooked no matter what their age.

[u4ic]

3. I feel the same way, supernova

I think I was more invisible in my 20's than now (40 in a couple of weeks). Perhaps it's just being more in tune with myself, more comfortable in my skin, and be damned what others think - if you don't like, don't look, etc.

I remember seeing your pic, you are very pretty indeed and have beautiful big eyes - here's hoping to more fun as the years roll on!

[terrya]

4. I agree with you.

For some reason, I feel more self-confident now at 50 then I did in my 20's and 30's. Maybe I'm finally at a stage of my life when I'm basically happy with myself.

[RetroLounge]

5. Turned 45 this year...

while it has been a rough year, i feel better about myself than i ever have.

Wouldn't want to be in my 20's again, no way...

and middle age is always 10 years older than I am.

RL

[RebelOne]

6. I was never invisible and maybe too visible

in my younger years. But as we grow older, we are more confident because of the wisdom we have gained throughout our lifetimes.

[Midlodemocrat]

7. I've never been a wallflower, not that the other OP is or was.

I'm 48, greying, need to lose weight, yada, yada, yada, but I have always been a 'presence' and I think that is because I treat people nicely. I don't lord it over wait staff or sales clerks that they are there to 'serve me', I'm unfailingly polite IRL and I am pretty funny.

Face it, you want to be me.

[BooScout]

8. Nahhhhhhhhhhh

To me .........what's good about being middle aged is I could care less whether or not I am noticed.

[Misunderestimator]

9. I'm with you... 44 and I've never been happier than I am right now.

[bicentennial_baby]

13. Goddamn, you look amazing!!

I had no idea what your age was...Color me stunned!

I can only hope to look as good when I get there...

[Misunderestimator]

14. Aw, damn... that's sweet of you to say!!

[trof]

10. I used to think that.

Now?
GEEZERS RULE!

[ForrestGump]

11. I tend to like being invisible

(and, no, I'm not talking about childhood daydreams of visiting the girls' changing room), but my physicality presents kind of the opposite problem. And the studded jumpsuits don't help much, either. I've never been one to blend in to a crowd, not that -- even now -- I'd go near a crowd if I didn't have to.

I like your post, though. Good for you, Ms nova!

I am supernova, hear me roar!

Been invisible before, though, in a way...like when, for most of my career as a graduate student, I racked up a series of accomplishments that were more at the level of an ambitious faculty member and my department's PR machine and internal awards and recognition system totally ignored them and lauded my peers who were, by comparison, at the science-fair level. Actually, not quite, but I did some fairly exotic things and without the direct help of my advisor I brought in more research funding than did any of my fellows. I didn't care -- knowing I was doing what I was doing was enough, and if I needed my ego stroked I had it stroked plenty by entities beyond my academic department and university who publicized and rewarded me -- but I really did seriously wonder just what exactly the hell was going on. Some of it was probably personal-political (the hardest-working faculty member there had similar problems), and for sure the middle-management layer of my department and university strongly resented me 'rising above my station' as a lowly grad student.

I've decided I'm not middle-aged yet, though, 'cos, apart from the fact that I see it as an artificial thing that's less applicable than ever before (and yet, in some people, is applicable in their 20s), if I'm going to live to at least 130 then I've still got a good 20 years or more before I'm near the middle. Better pace myself.

[Catchawave]

12. As I tell my 20 and 30-something kids........

NO WAY, I want to be your age again, so stop whining and leave me alone. Heh.

On edit: I should know how to speel whinning by now

[sendero]

15. A few years back..

... a friend (we're the same age, at that time the mid 40s) said to me "now I understand what they meant when they said "life begins at 40"".

There's no way to explain it, but somewhere around there things change. Not to say I wouldn't like to be 20 again with what I know now, I'd have me a wild time