Thank you for holding, you call will be answered in just a moment

[LeftyMom]

NO IT WON'T! I've heard that ten times already! There's a reason your hold recording sounds so garbled and worn out. You leave people on hold forever! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Answer the fucking phone! It won't take two minutes to make me an appointment. It shouldn't take longer than my exam to schedule one.

[sarge43]

1. That's wretched, but it's the #@%^^&**(+! music

I know you want me to give up and go away, but Mother of God on a bobsled no mas por favor, no mas.

[Radio_Lady]

4. "If this is a MEDICAL EMERGENCY, hang up and dial 911 -- otherwise..."

STAY ON THE LINE AND YOU WILL SIT AND WAIT WHILE WE PLAY THIS INANE MUSIC AND GIVE YOU LITTLE HELPFUL HEALTH UPDATES ALONG THE WAY...

[LeftyMom]

5. It was about to give me a medical emergency

I swear the hold music was playing on a badly scratched and slightly off speed 45 rpm record. I was *this close* to an aneurism.

[WCGreen]

2. Your call is important to us....

Please stay on the line while out customer service representatives are helping other people....


YOu know, somewhere, some ass hole researcher figured out just how long the average American would tolerate staying on hold...


And then other times, I think they just let people hold on in hopes they will all just go away...

[LeftyMom]

6. It beats scheduling appointments and treating patients

Then I'll have to wait two hours past my appointment time for a ten minute doctor's visit.

[WCGreen]

8. I know...

I just hate it...

[LeftyMom]

12. 23 minutes on hold

I'll probably spend another two hours in the waiting room for an exam that won't take fifteen minutes.

[WCGreen]

16. Heard 'em in.....

They know people will wait...

[Radio_Lady]

3. "If my call were IMPORTANT to you, you would ANSWER IT and not

put me on ETERNAL HOLD!"

[flvegan]

7. I love it when they actually quantify the phone purgatory that

you find yourself in.

"Please do not hang up as it will only increase your wait time. The first person in line has been holding for 9 minutes. You are number 23."

[sarge43]

9. Oh, that has to make you feel really, really good. n/t

[LeftyMom]

13. I haven't encountered that yet

The "average hold time- less than five minutes" ones are bad enough.

[ghostsofgiants]

10. Being on the other end of that is no fun either.

Pissed off customers jumping down your throat because they've been on hold forever, as though it's your fault personally. Fuck that. (I hate my job, haha.)

[LeftyMom]

11. I'd never do that

It's not thier fault that they really need another receptionist and haven't got one for some reason.

[ghostsofgiants]

15. I work in a call center, so it's a million times worse.

A hundred agents on calls and 20 calls in the queue, just a feeling of pure dread every time a call comes into the phone.

Bah, only two weeks left of that shit, haha.

[SeattleGirl]

14. Your call is very important to us. So important, in fact,

that we only have half the number of people employed in this job that we really should have. But just remember; the longer you are on hold, the more important you should feel, because, well, um, because our sappy recorded voicemessage says so.

[sarge43]

17. Bingo!

I have watched the receptionist at the hospital juggle phone calls, walk-ins, regulars, doctors, nurses and other assorted staff while filing and typing - jeez, what a job.