Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

So, Why did the chicken cross the road?

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
The empressof all Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:24 PM
Original message
So, Why did the chicken cross the road?
From a funny e-mail


DR. PHIL:
>The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
>must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
>goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to
>do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
>"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
>
>
>OPRAH:
>Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
>wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
>from his mistakes and take falls,which is a part of life, I'm going to
>give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
>not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
>
>GEORGE W. BUSH:
>We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
>know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
>either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
>
>DONALD RUMSFELD:
>Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
>of the chicken crossing the road.
>
>
>ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
>We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
>allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>
>
>JUDGE JUDY:
>That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
his
>eyes and the way he walks.
>
>
>PAT BUCHANAN:
>To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
>
>MARTHA STEWART:
>No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
>standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
>dropped to a certain level.
>
>
>DR SEUSS:
>Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
>chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed
>I've not been told.
>
>
>ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
>To die in the rain. Alone.
>
>
>JERRY FALWELL:
>Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
>front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
>why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
>And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
>all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
>liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
>other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as
>plain and simple as that!
>
>
>GRANDPA:
>In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
>us the chicken crossed the road,
>and that was good enough.
>
>
>BARBARA WALTERS:
>Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
>chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
>experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
>life long dream of crossing the road.
>
>
>JOHN LENNON:
>Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.
>
>
>ARISTOTLE:
>It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>
>BILL GATES:
>I have just released eChicken2006,which will not only cross roads, but
>will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
>book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform
>is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.
>
>
>ALBERT EINSTEIN:
>Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
>chicken?
>

>
>COLONEL SANDERS:
>Did I miss one?

>


Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:25 PM
Response to Original message
1. Because France was on the other side and wanted to
offer something other than frogs' legs to be devoured... :9

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:27 PM
Response to Original message
2. The dead baby was calling to it
calling....calling...calling :scared:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:30 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. the gogole ads are really starting to scare me
When I posted the above, it linked to "Hell does not exist", quotes from Genesis and True Religious jeans.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sat Oct 25th 2014, 11:58 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC