What's the meanest thing you have ever done to someone?

[RB TexLa]

that was funny, not talking about assaulting someone and such.

Mine was at a hotel bar. I was sitting at one of those small tables they have in hotel bars and a group of three women were sitting near me. After about 20 minutes one of the women came over and asked if the other seat at my table was taken. I replied "no, it's not," got up picked up the chair carried it to their table and said, "there you go." I then sat back down at my table.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

1. Hmm...these are to my sister:

1. Convinced her she had Monkey Pox

2. Split her lip open with a Tootsie Roll

3. Reminded her a few times, in front of friends, about the time she ate raw squid eggs as a toddler

4. Beat the shit out of her numerous times (she's my younger sister. It's funny. Anyway, she's way bigger than me now, but I'm still a more skilled fighter, so we're a pretty even match now)

[bicentennial_baby]

2. sounds like me and my lil bro

i stabbed him in the face with a pencil when i was about 6...he *still* has the graphite mark..and will never let me forget it...doh! :D

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. We both did karate (I continued though) and once...

we were fighting and my dad just said, "if you want to beat each other up, put on your headgear and go in the garage." It was honestly like the best parenting move ever, because by the time we went to our rooms, got our sparring gear, and went into the garage, we weren't all that pissed off anymore. He always said it wasn't like dealing with normal girls fighting, because we both legitimately know how to fight.

[mccoyn]

46. Those graphite marks just don't go away.

I got my sister in the hand.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

60. Seriously! My friend stabbed me in the hand and arm years ago, and

they're still there, just as dark as the day they were made

[RagingInMiami]

4. I read your post several times and I'm trying to figure out how that was

mean.

Maybe it went over my head.

[RB TexLa]

5. When I said the chair wasn't taken she was about to sit down in it

I grabed it and took it over to her table.

[RagingInMiami]

7. Oh, I see

Was she that ugly?

[RB TexLa]

8. no she wasn't ugly at all n/t

[I Have A Dream]

31. I was given the gift of a keychain that had 4 buttons...

each with a different obscene curse such as 'You're an a**hole!'. (I think that it was supposed to help people to deal with road rage.) When my ex-boyfriend and I would have particularly bad fights, I'd take out this keychain and just start repeatedly pressing the buttons. I wouldn't say anything else. It drove him absolutely crazy!

(This was the most childish thing that I've ever done, and I wouldn't do it now.)

(On edit: This should have been in response to the original post. Sorry!)

[RagingInMiami]

38. I would have taken the keychain and crushed it beneath my shoes

if my GF did that to me.

[I Have A Dream]

39. He wouldn't have dared! :o> n/t

[Whoa_Nelly]

41. Nice "tool" to have in hand when some RW'er and/or Fundie

is blindly busy spewing strawman arguments... :rofl:

just sayin'... :popcorn:

[I Have A Dream]

53. Yeah, I hate to say it, but it really did feel SOOOOO good!

:D

Believing in karma, I know that I have that coming back to me at some point in the future though. :(

I don't think that it would be bad karma to use it on a freeper though! :D

[ghostsofgiants]

6. Not THAT mean, but it's as mean as I get...

Just before Christmas break last year, my housemates and I were cleaning the house before we left to go home for our break. Three of us were awake and cleaning, but the other was still in bed, hung over. The night before, at about 3:00AM he showed up drunk and without a key. The other two housemates were sleeping elsewhere that night (one at his girlfriend's, one at his sister's), so I was the only one home, and I was asleep. The drunken bastard gets to the door and rings the doorbell incessantly until I finally get up to let him in. I was pissed. He knew I was pissed. I went back to bed. So while we were cleaning the next day, and he was asleep and hung over, I went out and rang the doorbell for a good three minutes until he finally got up. It was great.

[MissHoneychurch]

9. To my dad years ago

I was on vacation in FL in Disney World with my aunt and uncle (first time that far away from home). We were in the Country theme part of Disney World (don't remember the name of it right now). Anyway, we were in the "German town" and I called my dad in Germany. "Hi dad, I am in Germany" Shocked silence "You are where??" "In Germany ..." After a while I decided to explain to him where exatclt we were. I believe I gave him a slight heart attack. He didn't expected me back from FL for some more days.

[reformedrepub]

10. I sent a

dominatrix to my buddy's house as joke, sadly it turns out it was his grandma's birthday.....I wish I could have been there...:evilgrin:

[SofaKingLiberal]

11. .

[Seabiscuit]

12. Let loose an SBD in their direction.

(n.b.: SBD = "silent but deadly" fart)

Seriously, about the meanest thing I ever did was take advantage of my 15 year old babysitter's gullibility: when I decided to stop dying my hair I let the roots grow out a bit and shaved it down to 1/4" all around, exposing a shock of silver hair. The next time I picked her up she took one look at me and said: "Oh, my gawd! What happened to your hair?" I replied: "I was hit by lightning. I have to hold on tight to the steering wheel because my hands are still shaking." (lifting one hand somewhat from the wheel and shaking it around limply). She believed me. Once I realized she was really getting upset I told her I was just kidding, and that I shaved my head. So she punched me in the arm.

[evlbstrd]

13. One brother I led into a clothesline at dusk.

I also threw a screwdriver and a phone at him. Hit him in the head each time.
That same brother and I told our youngest brother that the sky was falling and to hide under his bed. He did. All day. Until mom got home.
We also rolled him up in a blanket and stuffed him into the station wagon and took him to the back of a Safeway. We told him we were selling him for bologna meat. That was particularly scary, as our dad had threatened us with that fate.
And there's still another brother and two sisters and dozens of cousins.
Good times.

[WCGreen]

14. It's too long a story....

And it makes me cry when I think about it....

Theraphy is what I need to forget the pain and agony I inflicted on poor Algonan

[NMMNG]

15. When I was young I was very mean to my little sister

She had the Hungry Hungry Hippos game. I glued all of the hippos' heads to the base of the game. :evilgrin:

[ceile]

40. LOL!

I had that game as a kid, too. If my brother did that to me.....

[Xipe Totec]

16. I gave an honest performance review

to an employee that was not meeting minimal performance standards.

He was so shocked that he threw up in my wastepaper basket.

I've learned to be more gentle since then.

[elehhhhna]

20. LOL I made an evil employee quit once...

I knew her game, manipulative but paranoid, so I stared at her (I was her boss) with a disgusted, malevolent look and let her catch me a few times...

She quit within the week.

[eyesroll]

17. I refused someone's hospitality and I think I insulted them, but I'm not

sure.

I bounced it off some people I sort-of knew, and they all said I was being rude, but I don't get it.

Oh, and once I poked someone with a stick (figuratively, of course; we're not talking assault, as you said).

[myrna minx]

21. Heh. n/t

[fudge stripe cookays]

51. Let me guess...

You told your hostess, "I do not drink with YOU."

:D

[RB TexLa]

56. I guess if the "hostess" were on here she could reply to this thread

with

"once at a party, a guest politely refused a drink, so I ask over him if he wanted one over and over and over. I mean when I offer something I don't allow people to act as if they are an adult and can refuse, I expect them to do as I order them to do and to not give me any backtalk about it! I will not have other people make decisions for themselves."

[Deep13]

18. 'Sold' the boss' truck.

One summer I worked for this total asshole swimming pool contractor. Anyway, after I left, I put an ad in the newspaper selling his well-known hot-rod pickup truck. I gave the paper his phone #, name and address.

[NewWaveChick1981]

19. I have a couple of them:

1) Convinced my little brother I had split personalities. I was about 8, and he was about 5. I would go into the closet and come back out as someone else. I really had him going, too. :P My sister broke the whole thing up by telling him that I was just pulling a joke on him. To this day (he's 40 now), he has never let me forget it. :P

2) My sister and I were squabbling one Sunday afternoon when I was 12 (she was 10). I can't remember exactly what I said to her, but whatever it was, it made her so angry she bitch-slapped me as hard as she could across my left cheek. It left a big red hand print on my cheek too. :( I swore never to talk to her again (yeah, right!) and left the room. She kept trying to come back in and apologize, but I wouldn't let her. I milked the "never talking again" thing for all it was worth! By early evening, I wasn't mad any more, but I tortured her by not talking to her until the next morning. By that time, she was beside herself and crying, so I stopped. (Hey, when you're a kid and your sister bitch-slaps you for no really good reason except that she was just being pissy, that's a good tactic! :) ) What are siblings for???? :P

[fudge stripe cookays]

55. Hmmmm...

seen Sybil one too many times dear?



"The people...the people...."

[NewWaveChick1981]

65. ROFLMAO!!!

:rofl: Actually, I made up a much stupider name than Sybil. :rofl: My brother brings it up all the time... I guess I sufficiently traumatized him. :P

[leftofthedial]

22. told them the truth

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. Killed a kid's parents and then served them to him in chili

he didn't know it, until after he ate the bowl, and then I let him know what he'd just eaten and I licked the tears from his face saying, "Yes! Yes! Oh let me taste your tears! Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! My-yummy! My-yummy!"

It was my retaliation because he embarrassed me.

No one fucks with Rabrrrrrr.

[graywarrior]

24. Put double sticky tape on the toilet seat to get even with my

brother for putting ketchup packets between the toilet seat and the bowl, but the cat jumped onto the toilet seat first, and well....

[Patiod]

25. My parents are OCD, & I used to sprinkle salt on the kitchen floor

in the middle of the night. Not much, just a tiny little bit. Not enough for them to figure out what was going on. The entire house always looked as if it were being shown to potential buyers at any moment, so a tiny bit of salt was noticable.

I, on the other hand, adhere to the kitchen-floor-cleanliness doctrine that if the cat isn't sticking to it, it's okay.

I love them dearly, but 2 normal kids + TWO obbessive/compulsive parents does NOT make for a happy house. I once had to stay home from a sleepover and practice eating imaginary cake for a half an hour under my mother's supervision, because I had eaten all the cake from my slice and saved the icing for last at dinner when we had company, and they were both FURIOUS.

So the salt thing, done irregularly and never to the point where she figured out what was going on, was intensely satisfying to me, and intensely upsetting to them.

[madeline_con]

61. That is the most excellent and wildly evil thing...

the part about the cake and the revenge of the shaker! Excellent!

[TimeChaser]

26. Okay, this girl at my school was a fundie and homophobic

and a general pain in the ass to boot. A friend of mine happened to know her username on Neopets.com (a virtual pet site) her password was painfully obvious, so we got in and got ger banned.

And that was the most evil thing I've ever done.

[Misunderestimator]

27. I said "Get over yourself" when some guy thought I wanted to sit with him.

When all I wanted was his chair. :rofl:

[miss_american_pie]

28. ...

:applause:

[idgiehkt]

35. lol

hysterical.

[Divameow77]

29. I convinced my sister

to cut her own bangs when she was about 8, she looked like Spock when she was done :-)

I had this guy friend and we always played practical jokes on each other and I also had this really goofy picture of him wearing a leather vest (with no shirt), he looked straight out of the Blue Oyster Bar. Well G liked to go online and try to pick up girls, I would find him and pay attention to the girls he was trying to "hook" up with and then IM them the picture, tey usually quickly lost interest after seeing that. Still not sure if he knows it what happened.

[ThomCat]

30. Cut someone off and ignore them.

There are a few people I've simply stopped talking to and never associated with again.

[Crabby Appleton]

32. married them !! - nt

[femmocrat]

33. I'm so ashamed of myself.... (not really!)

I had these really annoying neighbors who did not respond to simple requests for more considerate behavior. So... I signed their kids up for all the record clubs and sent them tons of magazine subscriptions. Shhhh!

[Joe Fields]

34. My former boss gloated about being a dick.

He was not a very nice person, and one time bragged about being a real dick. I looked at him and replied, "I wouldn't give yourself that much credit. At least a dick is of some usefullness."

There were roughly ten employees within earshot that instantly howled with laughter. My boss was speechless and his face reddened with embarrassment. He didn't come around for the rest of the shift.

[idgiehkt]

36. probably just telling lies to my youngest brother.

Like the time I told him baby oil came from actual babies. He was horrified, I can still remember the look of shock on his face.

[mirandapriestly]

37. Got pregnant and married someone else

after living with someone who I'd been dating for 7 years. I'm still waiting for the pay back

[SacredCow]

42. I indulged in a little smoker abuse (although it was justified)...

I was working in a non-smoking store (clearly marked as such) and a woman pranced in and lit a cigarette right in front of me. I politely informed her of the store policy, and she got all huffy with me... "I swear... I'm sick of this abuse.... This is discriminatory.... blah blah blah..." Instead of putting out the cig, she flicked it onto the counter in front of me (still lit) and walked off to look at treadmills. My co-worker gave the obligatory "Oh, no she DIDN'T!!!" and I calmly picked up the cigarette, walked over to where she was complaining to another employee about how our prices were too high. My intention was to give it back to her, but her purse was wide open and full of scraps of paper. Lacking in self control, I discretely dropped it in and went about my business. Several minutes later all hell broke loose, but it was worth it....

[Tyler Durden]

43. You are my hero.

[madeline_con]

62. YOW!

:rofl:

[Tyler Durden]

44. Friend came home drunk....

So we put ALL of his clean underwear and socks in the laundry hamper (it was white with a lid, and looked vaguely like a toilet). Then we put it in the bathroom in front of the REAL toilet.

He woke up massively still drunk and pissed in the hamper instead of the toilet. I still laugh thinking of it.

[grannylib]

45. For the insufferable jocks and I'm-too-cool-to-talk-to-YOU types at my

high school...I used to roll "joints" out of the pencil shavings from the pencil sharpeners, and poke them through the vents in the lockers of those people on the day we had locker checks for drugs/alcohol, and just DIE laughing at the looks on their/the principal's faces when he would open the locker and those would fall out.

[cobalt1999]

47. at a teenager, teaching a girl to waterski...

She had never been before and was taking my advice...

Me: Now, if you fall, make sure you do NOT let go of the ski rope!
Her: Why? I see you do it all the time.
Me: Yes, but I've been doing this for years. If you try, that handle will pop you in the face and take out your teeth.
Her: Oh! Okay.

She manages to get up and falls after a bit, doesn't let go and actually holds on for about 15-20 yards. Of course by that time her bikini is gone and sinking to the bottom of the bayou.

We laughed and laughed. She was a good sport and even skied with us afterward, in a one piece :(

[Joe Fields]

48. I used to hide and roll black socks, which were rolled up past my mother

in the living room. She would catch them out of the corner of her eye and think they were mice, and then let out a scream. I would convulse with laughter. I still do. Convulse with laughter.

[Spirochete]

49. Broke into my sister's house

Played all kinds of pranks. Shortsheeted her bed, put dimes in the faucets, salt in the sugar bowl, removed and hid most of the light bulbs, etc.

[OhioBlue]

50. well, I've done some mean things that I'm not proud of...

but I think the worst I ever felt and still just kept being stubborn and mean was when I was a child (age 6 or 7), my parents had divorced when I was 5. We lived with Dad, went to mom's every weekend..

Eventually, the step mother had moved in.... she was all about gaining our favor at first... she had a pony, was teaching me to ride... bought me a pretty shirt, etc.... She mentioned, "you know, you don't HAVE to go to your mom's every weekend".... for some reason, it stuck in my head... I can make a decision....

So when Mom came to pick up me and my little brother (he was 3 or 4 at the time) I sat on the tire swing and told her I didn't want to go to her house for the weekend... As an adult looking back, and after talking to her over the years, she missed us both sooo much and lived for picking us up on Fridays. anyway, she tried to convince me to go, my step mother eventually felt bad and also tried to convince me to go... but I had stated my position and I was oohhhh so stubborn... I wasn't going to give into reason or give into anyone.. I made a choice and I wasn't leaving the freakin' tire swing. (my Dad wasn't home or he probably would have just plucked me off the tire swing and put me in the car) But, Mom and step-mom tried to talk me into going... I didn't budge... Mom started to cry, little brother started to cry, step-mother got a shot of empathy for my mom and almost looked ready to cry.... I didn't care. I had an f-you, stubborn attitude, gripped the tire swing with all my strength and stated, I wasn't going. So mom left in tears and I felt miserable. I just stayed on the tire swing. I wasn't leaving the tire swing - ever. And... I wasn't going to cry.

Finally, my grandpa (mom's dad) came over (I was still on the tire swing) and talked some sense into me. I think he understood me best... I almost feel like crying now, he's been gone for almost 20 years... anyway, he knew I was just being stubborn and that I really did want to go with my Mom, somehow he turned everything around so that I wasn't giving in, but instead making my sad mom happy again... the "grown up" thing for me to do... I still have no idea why I was okay with hurting my mother's feelings just to make sure that I didn't give in. I felt bad, but didn't care. I wasn't going to give up.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

52. I MAY have been involved with putting laxatives in brownies...

But I'm not sure. :evilgrin:
Duckie

[Book Lover]

54. Now that I have read how hateful siblings are to each other

A) I am never having a second child

B) I am suddenly grateful that I was born nearly a decade after my other siblings - if any of them had tried to pull one iota of the shit you all did... man, I'd be in Rikers.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

57. short of killing or maiming them

you mean?

[DemsRBetterLovers]

58. I had a girl cheat on me once...

so in 6 months, i lost 70lbs, and gained alot of confindence. She tried crawling back, but I denied her. No mercy for those who cheat.

[pitohui]

59. i don't do mean things to be funny

i may be guilty of assault, i am guilty of it, but doing mean things to be "funny" i'm afraid that is beyond my ken

how can you possibly get off on that? i mean, i've read other of your posts and i understand you do, but could you explain WHY this is funny? i just don't get it :shrug:

i'll be honest, friend, reading about shitty "jokes" like that makes me glad to be a high functioning autistic who just doesn't see the need to be that way, if everyone was like me, frankly the world would be a better place! we might have less "jokes" but we'd have less unnecessary misery too because who would effin' bother!

[fudge stripe cookays]

66. .

How's the view from that high horse?

I'm sure most of the posters didn't do these things to be funny. Either we were immature at the time, or had had someone be mean to us first, so felt justified.

If everyone was like you, we'd all start fights on internet boards for no other reason than to be contrary jerks. And we'd be really unpleasant to be around.

[CanuckAmok]

71. Yeah, but if everybody but me was a high-functioning autistic...

...I'd never be able to find a decent parking space.

[ovidsen]

63. Shut off a neighbor's power. Repeatedly.

I guy who once lived upstairs liked to throw really loud parties, really late around 3 times a week. I mean really loud. And really late. Pleas from me and others fell on deaf ears.

I learned how to pick my way into the utility room where I flipped the circuit breaker for his apartment. The landlord (who must have suspected) told him he was using too much electricity during his raves.

The parties became few (and always ended early, one way or the other) and soon he moved away.

I don't think he ever knew.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

64. I shook up a can of Pepsi before delivering it

We had a new coworker who was extremely annoying. She claimed to have some mysterious illness which the doctors could not adequately diagnose, and this caused her to ask us to bring her items from our office on the hospital's first floor to her office on the sixth floor because traveling on the elevator made her too tired. Once she asked if I could bring her a Pepsi from our office mini-fridge. Cursing her under my breath, I shook up the can of Pepsi vigorously before delivering it to her.

[Vinca]

67. My brother doesn't know this, but . . .

in the dark ages, when I was a teenager, every time I laughed I peed my pants. It's a common malady in young girls, but it was especially bad for me because I laughed alot. One afternoon while joking around with a friend in my bedroom, I couldn't stop laughing . . . or peeing. Afraid I would get in trouble with my wicked stepmother for messing up the floor, I took a pillowcase from my brother's bed, wiped up the mess and put it back on his pillow. Sorry, bro.:rofl:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

68. I gave them the truth, and they thought I was mean.

[jpak]

69. We were visiting a friend in Tuscaloosa AL one time

We were drinking on his second story balcony when his downstairs neighbor came staggering out of his apt drunk and got into his car.

He started it up...

and immediately passed out with his head on the steering wheel...

headlights on and country music blaring...

We continued to drink, and when we finished each beer we threw the can down next to his car.

3 hours later he had quite a collection.

Then the cops showed up.

They started kicking the beer cans around and yelling "Drankin' a little beer are we???"

He tried his best to argue with them but they hauled him off any way.

:evilgrin:

[hippywife]

70. When a couple of friends got married

we went to their house while they were on their honeymoon and removed all the labels from their canned foods.