If one more goddamn male "friend" tries to tell me

[kiraboo]

that I'm not handling my grief the right way, I'm going to kick him where it hurts with my passe pointy-toed shoes. Everybody has an ulterior motive, it seems.

[dorktv]

1. Want me to hold them in place for you?

j/k, but how do they know what a person should do when feeling grief? Are they licensed psychologists or therapists?

[kiraboo]

3. In a word, no.

Hard to understand why they'd rather see me crying - and they have - than see me at relative peace.

[dorktv]

7. because they are falling into stereotypes. Ask them if they want you

in a hoop skirt and stays.

[kiraboo]

11. I have attempted to engage these people in conversation

and I get the "are you frigid?" line. Yes, they are stereotypes and more than one or two of them, who try very hard, are married. Fuck that. Oh, excuse my language. I just told my friend off and he'll probably go cry. Me too.

Later :(

[dorktv]

13. Awww...

:hug:

[miss_american_pie]

2. Oh boy

The right way being horizontally?

Can I come kick one for you?

:hug:

[kiraboo]

6. Oh, one of them who is my "best" friend keeps telling me that

you-know-who never cared. Then he berates me for hooking up and actually having fun untainted by misery on Friday.

Then there is a contingent of available males who call me cold, weak, insecure, frigid etc. because I don't want to have anything to do with them. It's frustrating. Mostly the one friend. He's jealous and it's tiresome.

Crap, crap, crap. Gonna go read my "Madame B" now. Thanks for letting me rant. It's been a hard day.

[miss_american_pie]

9. Oh for heaven's sake

Yep, stick with books. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear kiraboo......

You handle your grief any old way you want to, baby!

Whatever makes you feel better...

I'll help hold them down.......

:hug:

[kiraboo]

8. Oh, they'd probably like that, Peg!

Why does everybody assume that because you're over thirty, that you're desperate? AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Edited because for a blissful moment I was twenty-three, in my head.

[China_cat]

16. Tell them vibrators don't talk back.

[kiraboo]

24. But they don't love you either.

Ah, shit.

[China_cat]

32. Maybe not

But it sure makes a man think about what he's doing when he realizes you might prefer plastic and a couple batteries over whatever he's trying to sell you.

[kiraboo]

38. So true! n/t

[Guava Jelly]

5. I don't think your handling yeooooouch!!! you got a strong foot

there Missy!!!
:)

[kiraboo]

10. You have no idea.

I used my hand on Friday, after one too many fucking gropes.

[Guava Jelly]

12. nor do i wanna find out

I can think of a million things i would rather do than Piss you off. :)
Breathe easy if you can slumps don't last for ever.

[kiraboo]

14. Regarding pissing me off...

I've been told that a few times in my life. I get angry fast and then I recover.

[Crabby Appleton]

15. Personally,

I would enjoy getting kicked with your pointy-toed shoes, but that just me.

Sorry about your troubles with your "friends".

[kiraboo]

27. Hmmmm.

Alas I don't like to intentionally inflict pain. Perhaps I could be trained.

[NewWaveChick1981]

17. Sorry about that.

:hug: Most men have a singular motive. Not all men, but most.

[kiraboo]

28. I'm sure there are lots of fantastic men out there.

Just not in Maine.

[jobycom]

18. Get new friends.

[kiraboo]

22. Yep. n/t

[RetroLounge]

19. You handle it any way you need to...

and don't let anyone tell you different.

It's your journey, not theirs.

:hug:

RL

[kiraboo]

30. I'm basically lost.

Thank you for the hug.

[RetroLounge]

31. I know, and I understand, believe me...

Maybe you are supposed to be lost right now. You are where you are. No one can judge that but you.

I found a book that really eased my mind about feeling this pain and loss and being adrift...

It's called Dark Night of the Soul by Thomas Moore. You might like it.

:hug:

RL

[rockymountaindem]

20. May I ask what you're grieving about? n.t

[kiraboo]

21. Boring story.

At this point I'm grieving to think I was taken for a fool by someone for so many months. It's one thing to choose a man for an "encounter" knowing all the while that you're telling one another lies. It's quite another to be told lies, fall in love, and then be left by the asshole you were stupid enough to believe. Humiliating. I am humiliated.

On the positive side I am also hugely angry which is a relief, sometimes.

[SoCalDem]

23. You are entitled to your feelings..don;t let anyone try to talk you out

of them.. You will "recover" when it's time to..and not before..

Everything that happens becomes a part of the new you, when you emerge on the other side of it. Next time, you will be stronger, and wiser.. It takes time..don;t let anyone rush you :hug:..

and fifty years from now, it won't even matter :)

[kiraboo]

25. I think it's me rushing me.

It is impossible to function and be this sad, you know? So I get out to take my mind off things.

[rockymountaindem]

26. I've been there to a lesser extent

Well, a much lesser extent, considering that it was only for a couple of weeks and there was no sex involved (I'm assuming that's what you meant by "encounter"). Yeah, it definitely sucks. I, like you, also don't appreciate it when people try to cheer me up when I'm kind of intent on letting the resentment brew for awhile. So, if it's any consolation, I suppose I feel your pain to some small extent and I wouldn't judge you. Not like I'm qualified to give advice or anything, but maybe you could to something that would make you happy, like go to a movie alone or something. Preferably a movie where all the characters are miserable, those always make me feel better about myself :)

[kiraboo]

29. I have this problem with my attention span lately!

I can barely sit through half an hour of anything. It's unlike me. But I've been here before too. Perhaps I was better at the rebound, way back then.

My good friend isn't trying to cheer me up. He's trying to crush me. It's worked!

[hunter]

36. I once fell in love with a woman who told me she was divorced...

... she wasn't.

At the time I was heartbroken, humiliated, angry, etc., etc.

What's weird, is that when I got myself together, I felt sort of sorry for her. She's the one who crashed and burned; the one who told the lies.

Being myself, the one "stupid enough to believe," as you say it, wasn't so bad as that.

[kiraboo]

39. And I know that the man in question

will regret his decision, once he realizes he has used up all his chances. Of course, I will regret it too!

[ThomCat]

33. Anger is better than grief.

Let me know if you want a hand. I can swing a cane with the best of 'em. :)

[kiraboo]

40. Thank you for your offer.

I think my good friend and I may be calling it quits. But I'm going to a party Saturday night and it would be wonderful if you could accompany me! :)

[Reciprocity]

34. Here you can borrow my shoes.

Just clean the mess at the toe when you give them back.

[Schema Thing]

35. lol, so you're not buying that the correct way to handle...

...your grief is to have amazing grief eradicating sex, and lots of it, with me?


:snaps fingers: damn!

[RedStateShame]

37. Here, have a drink on me.

No motives at all.

:toast:

Have another.

:toast:

One more won't hurt.

:toast:

And one for...

:puke:

Oops. Sorry about that.

[kiraboo]

41. Well, will you pay my mortgage?

That's what some fool told me Friday night. This must work on some women! I was surprised to be twice offered a phone and once a job. But mortgage payments? :rofl: