Tell me ways that I can ruin the next-door neighbor's backyard "raves."

[begin_within]

Calling the cops is one thing, but I need ideas on how to bust up these backyard parties that go until 3 a.m. among the delinquent teenagers next door. The mother is leaving for 3 weeks at her timeshare in the Sierra mountains in central California, so she won't even be there (not that she would be any help anyway). I want to know things that I can do secretly, which will ruin the conditions for such all-night backyard soirees. One night they threw a burning piece of wood over the fence into my backyard, and I did not discover it until the next day. Anyone know where to buy stink bombs?

[everythingsxen]

1. You can get stink bombs at...

Spy supply stores.

[begin_within]

2. What attracts ants?

There is a terrible problem with ants in our neighborhood right now. If I make a sugar syrup and throw cupfuls of it over the fence into their yard at many different points, will this cause a lot of ants to be in their backyard?

[everythingsxen]

5. Yes

Sugary syrupy stuff will successfully cast the spell "Summon Ants". You can also use honey and, well, almost anything really. To ensure the ants get the scent, make a trail of the syrupy substance that leads from an anthill (or two or three) and into their yard.

*innocent whistling*

I was not here. I did not say this.

[Whoa_Nelly]

17. Ants like cookies

THe more buttery and sugary the better...toss those over into the yard in many, many piece :rofl:

Maybe any ants you may have in your yard area will leave and move next door :D

[begin_within]

24. Thanks, I'll try that. Apparently ants don't like plain dry white sugar.

As a test, tonight I put 2 little piles of white sugar on my back porch, where I have seen ants scurrying around for the last 3 weeks. Each pile was about 1 heaping teaspoon. Now, 4 hours later, the piles look exactly the same, and what few ants that are on the porch are simply walking around the pile. Plain dry white sugar doesn't seem to interest them, although they go nuts if I leave a bowl in the sink that has some standing water in it, they are all over that in a matter of minutes. So I'll either have to go with the syrup, or use your suggestion of the cookies - I like your suggestion better. Probably the fats in the cookies appeal to the ants too. I hope to create a miniature horror movie in these people's backyard. And if she complains to me I'll just say, "well, that's the way the cookie crumbles."

[mtnester]

40. But they LOVE wet brown sugar....

ask me about the ant colony I just found in an Unopened two pound bag ot of...it was frightening

They like figs too...which happened to be right next to the brown sugar.

Black ants - the scourge of the midwest kitchen.

[begin_within]

44. Brown sugar! There's my answer. Thank you! A billion ants also thank you!

[Mutley]

3. I'm gonna have to vote for the stink bomb.

[havocmom]

4. Know any skunks

:evilgrin:

[mtnester]

41. That sounds like a GREAT idea

easy to find a dead one on the side of the road, bag it, and fling it?

(Did I say that outloud? Nope)

[XemaSab]

6. I would think an uneven ground surface would spoil some of the fun

But that's perhaps a little too impractical.

Turds would do the trick too.

[IDemo]

7. Sounds like time for some Texas polka, played at high volume:

http://www.live365.com/stations/hungerfordmike

(or something equally cruel and unusual!)

[chaska]

8. Buy eggs and put 'em out in the sun to let 'em get good and rotten.

Isn't there a legal remedy? Getting them classified as a chronic public nuisance or something, so that the cops could come down hard on them.

[LoZoccolo]

9. If you do anything other than call the cops...

...you pretty much open yourself up for other makeshift salvos such as the burning wood. They will see your creative actions as an invitation for one-upmanship.

[fishwax]

18. as entertaining as a back yard feud might be, i've got to agree n/t

[Ravenseye]

32. Agreed. Why lower yourself to their level?

If he does this he just validates their behavior and encourages them to do worse.

If they're out at 3am making too much noise every night, then call the cops every night.

[RedCappedBandit]

10. Shoot fireworks at them!

:evilgrin:

[begin_within]

12. How did you know?

You must have been at my web site. www.fireworksland.com

[RedCappedBandit]

13. Never seen it before but..

I love it!! What a coincidence.

[Blue_Tires]

29. wow.....GREAT site!

if i had the cash, i'd buy up all your inventory and set it all up on one fat fuse!


and as to the original post, four words: "Accidental Pepper Spray Discharge!" (wink wink)

[begin_within]

54. Thanks

[Calliope]

11. I have found opera to be effective

And I have a friend who swears by bagpipes.

[jrandom421]

14. May I suggest

The whole Ring cycle? Georg Solti and company do a wonderful job,and it's 14 CDs in length.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000042H4/102-1744074-0404137?v=glance&n=5174

[name not needed]

15. Steal their glowsticks.

[Floogeldy]

16. Releasing a dozen rattle snakes into their backyard might do it.

;)

[Whoa_Nelly]

19. You wicked, wicked man!

:loveya:

or do you prefer :spank: ?


:rofl:

[begin_within]

20. Or even a fake one?

[peekaloo]

35. Snakes! In the motherf*ckin' backyard!

although I prefer cobras. :-)

[begin_within]

21. What's hilarious is that ads for stink bombs are showing on this page!

Google ads or whatever, for stink bombs, magically appeared at the top of this page when I came back to it! The wonders of the internet.

[Hissyspit]

22. Can you build an industrial hog farm with waste reservoirs next to them?

Upwind?

[begin_within]

23. Knowing them, they would probably swim in it.

[LeftyMom]

25. Huge speakers headed thier direction and twangy country music

Warn any other neighbors first, so they can find something to do someplace else.

We had to do that once to some neighbors of mine. They didn't have bad taste in music, but bad taste in hours to play it loud and party. So we waited for a holiday weekend we knew they'd be up all night then right at sunup, shortly after they'd all gone to bed, we wired together every speaker in the house and a few borrowed ones, put Dwight Yokum on repeat and left for the day, with the house locked up tight and the rest of our neighbors (who were all in on our petty revenge) instructed to call the cops if they tried to break in to turn it off.

They moved out about 6 weeks later. I think they realized they'd worn out thier welcome. Either that or they feared my mother's next evil scheme- and rightly so, the plan for phase 2 was to play one song all day long. Mom was considering Elvis' Blue Christmas, but a bit concerned that it might make somebody suicidal. They were pretty quiet until they left too.

PS We tried the cops and park management first (we lived in a mobile home park at the time) but they weren't real helpful. Legal options are the best ones, when they do any good.

[otherlander]

26. Hey, it's not their fault.

This one time, my friend invited me and a few other girls to her house, and one of the other girls (without asking our guest) invited her boyfriend, and he brought all his friends, and they brought vodka and got really drunk, and me and the girl whose house it was had to watch the drunken idiots, clean up after them, and call up HER boyfriend to help up make sure they didn't break anything or try driving themselves home. Ugh. All we wanted to do was have a party, but instead we had to babysit.

[Jamastiene]

27. Start a garden and make sure to use

plenty of cow manure and let it set on top of the ground while you hand shovel it by double digging it into your new garden. You may want to rap tap tap on the door first thing on the morning after one of their parties and ask for volunteers to help you in your garden. Make sure to ring aling the doorbell a lot and then say, "I wasn't sure if anyone was home." Be real perky and cheerful when you do this, as it will add to the morning after effect of their hangovers. If you are persistant with that, it should work. They'll decide to have their party elsewhere really quick if they have to face that smell the next morning after they are already probably nauseated from a hangover.

[gkdmaths]

28. gather all your neighbors dogshit the day before

and lob the turds over, or you could rent huge billion candela floodlights and shine them into the suspect yard.

additionally, you could just prop up a few video cameras, the would only need to be visible, not even recording. Hey, I kinda like that idea.

:)

[wickerwoman]

30. Oscillating sprinkler set right against the fence?

Hey, you have to water at night or it will all evaporate!

[fudge stripe cookays]

31. Buy a book or two...

by George Hayduke...revenge master extraordinaire. He has some wonderful ideas at how to bestow karma on people in situations such as these.

[Frank Cannon]

33. Go over and demand to be invited or you will call the cops

While at the party, wear a shirt unbuttoned to the navel and try your best to act "cool". Use terms like "phat", "dope", and "da bomb". Find the best looking people there and demand to dance with them, and then do some sort of spastic version of the hully-gully. Be loud and tell lots of corny jokes, laughing like a hyena at your own humor.

One of two things will happen: You will kill the party (and all other planned attempts at that location) or you will have the time of your life.

[ET Awful]

34. Sprinklers.

A few rainbirds aimed in the appropriate direction. :)

[Deep13]

36. Wander thru the crowd...

...dressed as a hillbilly telling people "You have a purty mouth."

[mduffy31]

37. Huge Speakers playing the "Ride of the Valkyries"

[Phillycat]

45. Or better yet, "Barbi Girl" by Aqua...over and over and over and over...

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. Get yer loudpseaker system to play a 20KHz signal

and play it really, really loud.

[unpossibles]

39. the trick to loud music is: don't try to out-do them

wake them up. Warn your other neighbors, and blast something awful (I'm thinking Richard Marx, Kenny G., or Cher, although the Ring Cycle by Wagner would be good also) directed straight toward their house (put the speakers in the window) really, really early in the morning, like 7:00 - they'll still be hungover and will hate it way more than they would at night when they could probably just drown it out with their own music.

Also leave a note warning them that if they continue after this, pictures of them drinking/partying will be given to the local authorities.

I've used this on some annoying 'kegs-n-eggs' footballers next door and it generally works wonders.

[underpants]

42. When I lived in Baltimore my neighbors though I was nuts

I used to go out in the fenced in backyard and crank up Hellen Reddy's "I am woman" and jump up and down on the trampoline. All my neighbors thought I was nuts.... of course they had no idea that I had a trampoline.

[KatyMan]

43. Bobby Vinton at 5am

the next day, "My Melody of Love".

We lived in an apartment in the States and the neighbor like to play crappy dance music loudly and late into the night (we got up at 5am). One morning when we got up, I put our stereo speakers against the adjoining wall and put the Clash on at full volume. They never made a peep after that. :D

[1gobluedem]

46. Mow your lawn at 7 a.m.

The next few days after that, get a whiny, screechy power saw and cut boards endlessly outside starting at 7 a.m. Then mow the lawn again.

Have a 'police appreciation day' barbecue in your backyard that starts at the same time as their party.

[RedStateShame]

47. Slayer. "Raining Blood"

Introduce them to Satan.

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

58. "Reign in Blood"

but its a valid point

[dpbrown]

48. Get a manure spreader and spray wet manure over the fence

That'll keep them inside.

[ScreamingMeemie]

49. I think calling the cops is the only thing.

Don't get involved. Just keep making the situation so miserable...with the having to hide the cans etc.. that they decide it isn't worth it and move on to somebody else's house. We did this with the neighbor kids behind us. It took about two weeks, but it worked.

[MiniMandaRuth]

50. Water ballons filled with lemon juice and water.

My experience... it tastes really bad alone ( love the taste myself) and it smells bad when it's been sitting around for a while.

Besides, at a Rave, isn't everyone drunk/high? Pardon my stupidity, but if you lob a few a them... they shouldn't even be able to tell where they're coming from.

[flvegan]

51. Video tape it, with sound and day/time activated. Then send a copy

of it to mom. Be sure to get the cops on tape.

With the tape, attach a note describing the who, what and when. Tell her that you're considering sending a copy of it to her homeowners insurance company, as they might like to be aware of the liability she's opening them up to, and maybe one to the local childrens welfare department.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

59. yikes

all that's left is the note sent to the organizer of the party asking for 10 million in unmarked swiss bearer bonds for the tape.

[Benfea]

60. I think we have a winner! -NT

[deucemagnet]

52. You can buy skunk scent at sporting goods stores...

...some hunters use it to mask their scent.

http://www.eders.com/Tinks-Skunk-Scent-p3144c718-path0.html

Hunters who who are more dedicated than I am, that is.

[dysfunctional press]

62. they sell red fox urine too...

and i would have thought that the sanford & son residuals would have been enough for his heirs...
greedy bastards.

[begin_within]

53. I am grateful that so many DUers are as vengeful and depraved as I am.

[seemunkee]

55. Barry Manilow

[Throd]

56. Tell the police you thought you saw a gun

They will be down there like stink on shit in no time flat.

[leftofthedial]

57. attend

and bring all your friends

[dysfunctional press]

61. if they have a telephone junction box on the outside of the house...

usually a grey plastic box that can be opened with a screwdriver- inside is a place to plug in the phone you brought with you at about 1am...then dial 911, scream some obscenities about stupid cops- then hang up, take your phone, close the box, and go home.

[sendero]

63. Damn..

.... that's good!