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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:19 PM
Original message
Hypothetical relationship question
I have a friend with the following problem, I will tell it in pseudo first person perspective.

If you tell your S.O. that you want to go to games tournament (where you could potentially win cash and prizes) but were a bit ambivalent about it, then had your S.O tell you that you *should* go, since you are good at said game, so you change plans around and decide to go to aforementioned tournament, then, when your S.O. is talking about plans for the weekend you remind them that you are going to the tournament they told you you should go to, they say, exasperated and sad, "Fine I guess we won't have any fun at all this weekend", would you be upset?

For bonus points, let's pretend that your S.O. went out earlier in the week, not once, not twice, but thrice and has been having "fun" all week.

He am doing his very best to not be hurt and upset, and he wants to know if he is being unreasonable about this. He would also note that said tournament runs from 8am to 6pm. (though he is only going to be there until about noon). Hardly ruining the entire wekend, or even the day.

Thanks.
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Ravenseye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:21 PM
Response to Original message
1. Would I be upset? Yeah.
Passive aggressive bullshit is what that is.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:29 PM
Response to Original message
2. I didn't say "we won't have any fun"
Edited on Fri Jul-07-06 06:34 PM by AlienGirl
I said we couldn't go to the ocean this weekend. I think the words I actually said were, "Then we can't do the fun thing I was planning this weekend, cause I have to work on Sunday." My tone of voice was not meant to be exasperated or sad.

It really is no big deal, really! We can go to the ocean and metal detect another time, I had forgotten that the tournament was this weekend. I do want you to go, and I will look for somewhere closer to metal-detect Saturday afternoon, okay?

I am sorry I hurt your feelings. It was not my intent.

Tucker
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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:34 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Well, what you said was:
"I guess we won't have any fun this weekend". If you had said "I guess we won't go the ocean this weekend"; I wouldn't have started thread, because I wouldn't be upset.

And its only til noon anyway. We both know you and the kids won't even be awake by noon. At least you haven't all week...
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:35 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. .
Edited on Fri Jul-07-06 06:36 PM by AlienGirl
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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:38 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. No
It was meant to be me saying it would be over by noon. And that as far as I know, you said "no fun this weekend", not "no metal detecting this weekend".

If you meant the latter, well then, no worries.
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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:39 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Why the edit?
Say what you are going to say.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:41 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I asked if the part about not being up till noon was meant as a slam
Then realized I had not asked tactfully, and wanted to redact it.

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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:45 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. It wasn't meant as a slam.
It was meant as a continuation of a series of probabilities. If something is a certain way over a long period of time, the basic prediction is that it will continue to be that way.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:39 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. I meant the latter: not THIS PARTICULAR fun thing
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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Ok, well you know that I am a pretty literal person...
and I have no way of interpreting when you say "no fun this weekend" is supposed to mean doing one specific activity or if it means literally no fun at all.
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:40 PM
Response to Original message
8. "He am doing his very best to not be hurt and upset" (???)
I get the feeling that "he" and "you" are the same person.
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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 06:41 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Yeah, well
I had not planned on actually calling my S.O out directly, and decided to put it from a "friend" perspective; obviously I typoed in my edit and its moot now anyway.
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prolesunited Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 08:00 PM
Response to Original message
13. I have some advice that is NOT hypothetical
Do not post this stuff where the other person involved is going to read it.

I'm married to a DUer and I would never even dream of airing our dirty laundry in front of the community we share.

If you have a problem, talk amongst yourselves. With this kind of passive-aggressive antics, I can't imagine you having very much fun in the future together at all.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 08:05 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. Can I nominate this post?
There's a reason dirty laundry goes in the hamper. The rest of us don't need or want to see it.
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Second nomination for this post
Seriously.
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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jul-07-06 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. .
Edited on Fri Jul-07-06 09:02 PM by everythingsxen
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