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Why would the phrase "I don't drink with you" upset someone?

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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:02 PM
Original message
Why would the phrase "I don't drink with you" upset someone?

At a party with my wife's co-workers one woman kept asking me if I wanted a drink. I told her no thank you each time, after several offers she asked why I didn't want a drink and I said "I don't drink with you." I was there to accompany my wife to a party with her co-workers, it was not appropriate for me to consume their food and beverages.
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LoveMyCali Donating Member (694 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
1. I would think
that if it were appropriate for your wife to bring you there it's ok to consume the refreshments. "I don't drink with you" sounds personal and it would probably hurt my feelings too.
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:08 PM
Response to Reply #1
8. "Bring a guest" implies that the guest is invited to/expected to
partake of all the goodies.. Perhaps just a "no thank you" or a "I'll have a Pepsi/GingerAle/Club Soda" would have been easier. :)

"I don't drink with YOU" smacks of:
YOU people (as in: it's beneath you to socialize with HER people) :)
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #8
88. Agree n/t
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
65. i don't drink with you
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
2. If you are invited, as a spouse, to go to the party, I'd certainly think
it was appropriate for you to partake of the goodies.

You owe no explanation, but the phrasing seems a bit odd to me.

If you were making an excuse you could always say you were the designated driver, and perhaps this was the case.

Or perhaps you just didn't feel like drinking?

Seems odd for the woman to persist unless she was perhaps three sheets to the wind already.
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Ravenseye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
3. Um. Seriously? Because it's rude maybe?
Was this an office party or at someone's house? If significant others were invited, then it was appropriate for you to consume the food and beverages. If you weren't invited in general, but then invited in and offered a drink or food, it was appropriate to consume them.

If I was at a party with coworkers and I offered one of my coworker's husbands a drink, and he said "I don't drink with you." I'd be extremely offended. If you didn't feel comfortable having aything you should have just said "no thanks, i'm fine." but what you said was really really rude and implied to that person that you don't like them and refuse to drink or eat with them.

Just extremely rude, imho.
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benburch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'm betting they saw it as a personal rejection.
You probably should have phrased it like this;

"Thank you so very much, but I really don't want anything to drink right now. I'll let you know if I do!"

And then smile.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:57 AM
Response to Reply #4
123. yep
that phrase makes it sound like you're rejecting the person, and not the drink.
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texasleo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
5. sounds like you'd be fun to partay with!!!!1
:shrug:
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patricia92243 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:07 PM
Response to Original message
6. It WAS appropriate to eat the food and beverages. It WAS NOT appropriate
to say I want drink with you. Maybe you did not mean for it to sound insulting, but it certainly would come across that way. I'm curious to know - what does your wife say about this?
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. my wife thinks I am an adult and able to decide what is and isn't
appropriate for me to do.
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Ravy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:13 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Then you should ask your wife what she thinks about the comment.
Edited on Mon Jul-03-06 04:55 PM by Ravy
The feelings of the person you offended, and the advice of posters on this board don't seem to matter to you.

If it was your wife's co-worker, she is likely to feel the brunt of what seems to me to be a social snub.
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eleny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #11
17. Then why ask about it here?
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:15 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. I just wondered why the person huffed off

at least she stopped bothering me.
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eleny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:18 PM
Response to Reply #18
24. Probably best to ask her if you really want to know how she feels
Looks like you got plenty of answers here and they're all pretty much the same slant. You sounded rude and that's how it was received. It's a no brainer.
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gkdmaths Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 02:02 AM
Response to Reply #18
199. LOL
Edited on Wed Jul-05-06 02:03 AM by gkdmaths
:rofl:

Mission accomplished, however crudely.

:thumbsup:
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 12:29 PM
Response to Reply #18
206. LOL
Edited on Wed Jul-05-06 12:29 PM by KC2


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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #11
51. she'd be wrong.
:spank:

just sayin. . .
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:28 PM
Response to Reply #11
55. She could be wrong.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #11
89. Then why ask DU?
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zanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:31 AM
Response to Reply #11
109. If you said that at a party of mine....
I'd show you the door. There are no two ways about it; that was just plain rude.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:36 AM
Response to Reply #109
111. do you offer people food or drinks after they have told you "no thanks"

over and over?
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zanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:40 AM
Response to Reply #111
112. I don't drink either...
And when offered a drink at a party I always say "No thank you." If they persist, I say "No thank you, I don't drink". I don't tell them "I don't drink with you". I'll put it this way; it sounds the same as "I WON'T drink with you". You were wrong. Learn from it and move on.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #112
113. I do drink
Edited on Tue Jul-04-06 08:41 AM by RGBolen
I was not going to drink there.


What I asked was after someone has told you "no thanks" repeatedly, do you continue to offer them? Or do you allow them to decide that they do not want it?
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zanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:48 AM
Response to Reply #113
118. If you don't want answers to your question...
Don't ask the question. Obviously, your mind is made up about it and you're looking for validation, not honest answers.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:50 AM
Response to Reply #118
120. I guess I missed the answer
I still don't see it.

What I asked was after someone has told you "no thanks" repeatedly, do you continue to offer them? Or do you allow them to decide that they do not want it?
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:49 AM
Response to Reply #120
134. Actually, you didn't ask that question at all.
You asked (and I am quoting inexactly, though closely, here) "Why would the host of a party be upset if I said 'I don't drink with you' when they offered me a drink?".

You didn't ask anything even remotely close to whether we would continue to offer drinks to someone who clearly didn't want any.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #134
146. in post 111 I asked someone
"do you offer people food or drinks after they have told you "no thanks" over and over?"

Here is a link to where I asked them this

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 01:49 AM
Response to Reply #113
197. Most people do not
I find it to be typical "host or hostess" behaviour to just about force feed people who visit. I try to tell them many times that I am not hungry, that I have a fussy stomach and there are way too many things that I cannot eat, but they just will not take no for an answer. Most of them that is. Even the hospital, when I was there for ulcers and expected to leave in a couple hours insisted on bringing me something. So I finally said I would take some rice, but they did not bring me rice - they brought me spicy rice, which not only did I not appreciate, but the dietician had just told me that I was supposed to avoid spicy food because of my ulcers.

So often I end up eating something that then gives me indigestion and/or cramps for most of the rest of the day. Maybe I should just tell people "I don't eat with you."
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:04 AM
Response to Reply #111
126. If she had a bunch of people over, it's possible that
she had lost track of who she had asked and who she hadn't asked. I know I often do.

Better safe than sorry. She was being a good hostess.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:07 PM
Response to Original message
7. I'm not sure I understand.
Why wasn't it appropriate for you to consume their food and beverages? I can see if you were the designated driver, or just preferred not to drink. But I'm not sure what "I don't drink with you" means. It almost sounds like an insult.
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #7
53. it almost sounds like what a neanderthal would say if you brought
him to a party.

I'm serious.

"I don't drink with you." Really weird.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:48 PM
Response to Reply #53
62. It's so awkward that it almost makes you wonder if this
thread is a joke, doesn't it? :) Well, it IS funny, and has provided a lot of us with some amusement today.
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #62
64. it does.
Edited on Mon Jul-03-06 05:56 PM by SlavesandBulldozers

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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #64
66. LOL
:rofl: :rofl: :spray:
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:58 PM
Response to Reply #66
67. lol
i really just cant resist sometimes. It's my problem.
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Jazz2006 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:38 PM
Response to Reply #64
85. That's some quick work, there!
:rofl:

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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 08:29 AM
Response to Reply #85
200. it came to me in a vision.
i was simply the medium thru which Pure Art poured itself into Microsoft Paint. ;)
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ceile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:08 PM
Response to Original message
9. Well, it sounds a bit personal.
The phrasing makes it sound like you wouldn't have a drink with her personally.
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etherealtruth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
10. There are gracious ways to refuse someones "hospitality" ...
You did not choose a gracious way.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. I said "no thanks" the first 6 or 5 times n/t
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:13 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. Then reiterate with...
Edited on Mon Jul-03-06 04:15 PM by fudge stripe cookays
"I'm sorry, I'm REALLY not thirsty, ma'am."

Like it or not, your phrasing was very insulting. Kind of like when you slammed the person above just for asking what your wife thought about what happened.

You sound like a real blast to be around in social situations.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:59 AM
Response to Reply #16
124. use the "designated driver" excuse (n/t)
.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #124
125. I would never just out and out lie to someone

too degrading.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:07 AM
Response to Reply #125
127. Why would it be a lie? Where you driving?
While that may not have been your true motivation, it certainly wouldn't have been off base if you were driving.

Honestly, I'd rather have someone tell me a white lie about being a designated driver than have someone reject me like that. It's RUDE.
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mzteris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 01:59 PM
Response to Reply #125
210. yeah,
insulting is soooooo much better.

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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:15 PM
Response to Reply #12
19. It seems there is a consensus that "I don't drink WITH YOU" was a bad
thing to say, since most, including me, feel it reads like a personal insult to the person.

If they were that persistent (were they drunk?), then sure, they were out of line, but in "putting your foot down" you STILL could have said, "Look, I'm sorry, but I REALLY don't want anything to drink!" And perhaps, 'I'd appreciate it if you'd quit asking, thanks.' if she still persisted.

If she was a drunk obnoxious fool, she still might have taken offense, but I think the point most of us are trying to make is, we think you gave her ammunition to take offense.
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etherealtruth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:16 PM
Response to Reply #12
21. I can understand your frustration ...
I am a rare drinker and an extremely finicky eater (moral prohibitions as well as personal idiosyncrasies), so I am often in the position of turning down someone s's hospitality (especially bad if it is drunken hospitality) ... however, when someone is offering their hospitality to me (even to the point of minor annoyance)I still try to be gracious.

Your OP asked why would someone take offense to your statement, my guess remains that it seemed to lack the grace one expects in social situations.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:17 PM
Response to Reply #12
23. designated drive, but I know what you mean
Why won't you drink with me, think you are too good?

I have held a drink without drinking it for a long time, or perhaps a soda. But I know what you mean.
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durrrty libby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:20 PM
Response to Reply #12
26. I dont drink with you is a very odd expression.
It sounds like an expression found in a Godfather type movie.

How about this one.

Ann: Joe, you look tired

Joe: I dont lie down with dogs.


In the future....take the offerings....hold it

or put it down.
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:30 PM
Response to Reply #12
57. Maybe because you insisted on looking like a party-pooper!
"No, I may not consume thy comestibles nor thy potables! BEGONE!"
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Pool Hall Ace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #57
204. Funniest damn response.
I'm using that line! :rofl:
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Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
13. If everyone had a glass and food then what is the harm?
If it was alcohol you can always tell them your the designated driver and can't drink. If you go to my grandmothers house, she will offer you something to drink until you say yes. Just the way she was raised. It is like a welcome for some people.
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rucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
14. Loosen up. n/t
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:16 PM
Response to Original message
20. Why do you think you coudn't have had something to drink?
and if you didn't want a drink you could have said, "Thank you. I'm not thirsty right now but I'll keep that in mind." Or something like that.

"I don't drink with you" sounds like, "I have no friendly feelings toward you and no interest in socializing." Even if you did mean it that way, it isn't appropriate to tell people.
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kittenpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:16 PM
Response to Original message
22. I was going to comment on how rude the phrase sounded, then I remembered..
that I don't reply to you. ;)
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jadedconformist Donating Member (235 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:42 PM
Response to Reply #22
36. LOL n/t
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Jazz2006 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #22
46. Touche!
:rofl:
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karlrschneider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
25. I'm not sure I even believe this little tale...
"I don't drink with you" doesn't sound like something a person with an I.Q. over 30 would say except to pick a fight...
:eyes:
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:23 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. It was a truthful statement
Edited on Mon Jul-03-06 04:23 PM by RGBolen
I do drink, but it was not appropriate for me to drink or eat with my wife's co-workers at their party and I was not going and did not. I was simply there to accompany her.
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karlrschneider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #27
31. Well, given the choice between staying home and insulting
other guests, I guess I'd pick the former.
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frylock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:39 PM
Response to Reply #27
33. are you her bodyguard?
what a strange thread this is. :popcorn:
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:40 PM
Original message
no
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:54 PM
Response to Reply #33
41. Reminds me a bit of the thread someone started a while ago, where they
had supposedly been hit by a TRUCK, and their leg was all swollen and painful, but heaven forbid, they wouldn't want to go to an emergency room or anything, it was just getting hit by a TRUCK after all, probably nothing serious!

Wheeeee!
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #41
42. and it never turned into anything serious
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:19 PM
Response to Reply #27
49. Why was it not appropriate?
I don't understand this. If you were at the party, accompanying your wife, why would it be inappropriate for you to eat or drink? It seems it would be inappropriate to have someone at a party and expect them not to eat or drink.

At any rate, if indeed it wasn't appropriate, the proper response would have been, "Thank you, but I don't feel it's appropriate for me to have a drink at this gathering." Or something of the sort. Saying, "I don't drink with you" sounds like you feel those people are beneath you.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:02 PM
Response to Reply #49
69. It was her party, her co-workers

I was only there because I am her spouse. It would not have been appropriate for me to have eaten their food, drink their stuff or attempted to dominate conversations.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 03:54 PM
Response to Reply #69
184. Nonsense
Of course it was appropriate to eat their food or drink their stuff (it's never appropriate to dominate conversation). As the spouse and escort of an invitee, you are also an invitee, whether you work with these people or not. There is no logic in your self-imposed ideas of etiquette and, in fact, you have violated all conventional etiquette by behaving as you did. It is simply impolite to attend a party but simply stand around not eating or drinking or interacting. And it's rude to use a phrase such as you used when offered refreshment.

What makes me scratch my head in wonder is the fact that you actually don't seem to understand what would be offensive about saying, "I don't drink with you."
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #69
233. Seriously, I'm just going to say it
since no one else seems to want to.
You've got issues dude! Issues! And this whole, what? What? Little boy shrug thing you've got going on would seriously turn any woman off! If you really honestly didn't think it appropriate for you to consume food or drink at this party then you shouldn't have been there at all. For one it creeps people out, another is........it's a damn party that's what people do at parties they eat, they drink etc.


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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:30 PM
Response to Reply #27
56. not appropriate?
it was appropriate for you to go. . but not to eat or drink. AWESOME!
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #56
59. Yeah it's a head scratcher all right. I evision shrubco fundraisers that
way, if you only gave $10K but not $250K, you get the Diet Dr. Pepper, but no canapes for you!
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #59
61. that's exactly how I picture them as well.
uh, youre a Pathfinder, no sherbet for you - UNLESS there's leftovers! OK now 30 more sieg heils for you!
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gardenista Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #27
101. I know why, and you did good.
Because you knew you would get stinkin' drunk and puke on her fancy couch.

You did the right thing.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 12:45 PM
Response to Reply #101
163. ...
:rofl:



:hi:
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gardenista Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #163
188. Hey, I really do understand where the guy is coming from
sad to say....

Still,

:rofl:
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 03:17 PM
Response to Reply #188
216. funniest thread i have ever read
:rofl:
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China_cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #25
32. Or someone for whom English is not a first language.
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etherealtruth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:46 PM
Response to Reply #32
38. Ah, you bring up a good point ...
Edited on Mon Jul-03-06 04:54 PM by etherealtruth
His phrasing is odd (to say the least) for a native American English speaker; it lacks the social graces of someone culturally American (r/t to social norms here) ... your point is probably correct, that for someone who's NOT a native speaker and/or not culturally American, the statement may not have been intended as it seems to us.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:52 PM
Response to Reply #32
40. English is my first language
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #40
60. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Ravenseye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #60
63. lol
probably the most succinct and accurate summation.
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:26 PM
Response to Original message
28. If you were invited, you were entitled to the goodies
If, however, you're a nondrinker (and a lot of us are), then you should not have been put in the position of having to refuse alcohol repeatedly. One "no thank you" should always be sufficient.

Your whole post signifies a great deal of discomfort with the whole situation. My advice would be to clear the air with your wife about not dragging you to company parties in the future, or about clarifying your status as an invited guest.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:35 PM
Response to Reply #28
30. there was no clarification needed, it would not have been appropriate

I decide what is appropriate for me to do. And I was not "dragged" to anything, I enjoy accompanying my wife to places.
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nsd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:40 PM
Response to Reply #30
34. Actually, a clarification obviously was needed, since the woman ...
was insulted by your reply. Also, note that nobody here has agreed with you that it was inappropriate for you to have a drink -- another reason to think you should have clarified what you meant.


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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:48 PM
Original message
If you're talking about standard etiquitte
it would have been very appropriate to have a drink. Having your own set of etiquitte rules that deviates from standard etiquitte means taht you might say something rude from time to time.
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Touchdown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
29. Sounds to me like you really needed that drink.
I can be an asshole. Many people on DU know that. But THIS!?!?!?! :wtf:
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jadedconformist Donating Member (235 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
35. That was rude. n/t
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:46 PM
Response to Original message
37. What the hell kind of party can you attend, but there are two tiers of
people there, guests who are OK to drink/eat, and those who are not? Usually you would simply exclude people if you don't want them to partake.

For instance, in my field, company reps often sponsor dinners, cocktail receptions etc. to promote their wares. Because there are actually federal laws governing this, they cannot provide freebies to spouses/family members. As a result, the fliers and invites for such outings specifically indicate that, sorry, we can't invite your spouse.

The thing that smells funny about this story is:

1) the circumstances of this party where it would be okay for you to attend, but not to eat or drink their stuff, people are having a hard time taking your word that this was the case because it seems so strange

2) and what you said sounds just plain dopey and rude.

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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:48 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. This was a party at a private house hosted by some of my wife's co-workers

The decision as to if it is appropriate for me to consume the food and beverages at the party was mine. I'm sure there where other spouses or SO's that felt it was appropriate for them to consume and others that felt the same as I.
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #39
48. That the party was in someone's home makes the insult even more
personal. You should have accepted at least a drink and then 'nursed'it. Especially if you were causing the hostess to be uncomfortable. Being considerate of others' feelings is what politeness is all about.
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amitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:14 AM
Response to Reply #39
103. Then you say, "I don't feel it's appropriate" not "I don't drink with
you".

You just don't know how to phrase things. You should always put yourself in the other person's shoes before speaking.

How would you feel if someone said, "I don't drink with you" to you? You'd feel insulted, of course, because it sounds rude.
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 05:31 PM
Response to Reply #39
190. And I'm sure that..
Edited on Tue Jul-04-06 05:32 PM by sendero
.... just as you are puzzled by this person's response to your comment, you are equally puzzled at the probable fact that your refusal to "participate" made the host uncomfortable, and they were just trying to relieve their own discomfort by getting you to join in.

Seriously, your decision to not participate sounds, I dunno, passive-aggressive?
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #39
207. I don't think ANYONE else thought the way you do.
Do yourself a favor and buy a book on basic etiquette. No matter what the circumstances, there were at least a million different ways you could've handled this better.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
43. I think you didn't mean it the way it came across.
If you felt that you shouldn't have anything to eat/drink, that is fine. She was simply being gracious by offering sustenance to you at a festive event.

I doubt that you meant to insult her or hurt her feelings. It probably came out before you had a chance to filter it.

The way you said it as indicated on this thread, I think she probably felt a little wounded because it seems a little personal.

Again, I doubt that is how you meant it.
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shanti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
44. that was an odd thing to say....
why didn't you just say, no thank you, and be done with it?
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:01 PM
Response to Original message
45. It seems to me
that you are asking a question, "Why would the phrase...." And then you get answers you do not want to hear, you go on the offensive.

Personally, if I had been the hostess, I would have been insulted. I would have likely tried to leave the situation more gracefully than going off in a huff, but I would have been hurt by that.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. I simply asked about the phrase, the fact that it wasn't appropriate

for me to consume the food and drink wasn't and isn't at issue.
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:27 PM
Response to Reply #47
54. The "inappropriate to consume" thing appears to me to be self imposed
Whether it was appropriate or not, there are more gracious ways to refuse hospitality, which is what almost everyone else upthread has pointed out.

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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:20 PM
Response to Reply #54
71. It WAS self imposed, he said as much in one of the other posts. It does
speak to a fundamental failure to understand what is expected in a social situation like this. Taking a little drink and sipping it would have been fine. Firmly refusing, with or without an excuse would also have been fine.

Saying "I don't drink with you." = rude.

I guess the main question to the original poster is, would you say the same thing in a similar situation tomorrow if it happened again? If you would, and see nothing wrong with it, then I see little point in asking here what was wrong with it, unless your goal was to brighten our afternoon and provide a little entertainment, which you have succeeded in doing!
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:23 PM
Response to Reply #71
73. I told the person "no thanks" a few times

I guess next time I will tell them "no thanks, and if you feel you have to ask repeatedly that will still be the answer, so save your time."
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:24 PM
Response to Reply #73
74. This would be better, because it doesn't single out the person offering,
and imply that something is wrong with their company.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:57 PM
Response to Reply #73
94. And, that would also be socially rude n/t
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1monster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #73
114. Still rather ungracious and rude. What you have probably done is
made it more likely that in the future when your wife's coworkers have a party that they don't invite her.

Talk about sabotaging your wife's business relationships! :eyes:

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Bassic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #73
143. So how about
No thank you, I do not wish to drink today?

Why the hell must you insist on being rude?
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:56 PM
Response to Reply #47
93. But the one caused the other n/t
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:23 PM
Response to Original message
50. Is this a joke or what?
Edited on Mon Jul-03-06 05:34 PM by WinkyDink
That's not only a rude expression; it's a downright stupid one! "Wasn't appropriate"? WTH??

English may be your first language, but I'd bet that the U.S. is not your native land.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:59 PM
Response to Reply #50
68. Yes it is my native land
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Mutley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:26 PM
Response to Original message
52. It does come off as kind of rude the way you described it here.
But I don't know the whole story, or the tone of your voice, or whatever. Your reasons for not taking anything to eat or drink are you own, but it is a host's job to make sure all the guests have everything they need.
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muriel_volestrangler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
58. Are you a Muslim, and was this during Ramadan?
Or were you on some similar fast? If so, maybe you should have explained that. "I don't drink with you" on its own sounds rather classist - as if you're putting yourself either above or below her.
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caty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:07 PM
Response to Original message
70. I think this falls under the meaning
of "breaking bread" with someone. To refuse is an insult. To accept is another way of saying that you accept that person as someone you respect.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 08:01 PM
Response to Reply #70
95. Exactly -- if you accept an invitation to someone's house
To a party, a barbecue, any social situation... then there are certain expectations of courtesy on both sides. The host shouldn't sit there and play video games all night (unless it's a 13-year-old boy), they should act like a host -- and the guest is expected to act like a guest. If someone can't uphold their end, they shouldn't throw parties nor go to them. In addition, you insulted and hurt one of your wife's coworkers... needlessly.

Saying it's "appropriate for you" to go to a party you were invited to and refuse all offers of hospitality does, indeed, sound like a joke, as some posters up thread have stated.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
72. "with you" makes it a personal rejection
Something like "I'm not hungry right now," "I have a bit of a stomachache so I think I'll do without" or "I don't drink" is much more socially appropriate because it doesn't leave the other person feeling rejected.
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:27 PM
Response to Reply #72
75. yup, sounds like "I'd drink with someone else though, you're dismissed"
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Dr Fate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:40 PM
Response to Original message
76. You should have relaxed and enjoyed the drink. Maybe next time.
n/t
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:42 PM
Response to Reply #76
77. It still will be inappropriate to accept at the next of her coworker's
parties.
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #77
78. Have you considered not going, rather than cause an awkward scene?
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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:16 AM
Response to Reply #78
149. Or seeing a therapist?
Seriously, did your parents keep you in a box or something?
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Dr Fate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #77
79. Sure, if you are socially retarded, or a space alien.
Edited on Mon Jul-03-06 06:58 PM by Dr Fate
In what society or culture is it considered rude or "inappropriate" to accept refreshments at parties or gatherings in which you are invited?

Perhaps you need to re-take those charm school classes you skipped.

;)
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #79
164. .....
:spray:
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #77
80. Why?
I don't get it.
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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:50 PM
Response to Reply #77
86. Here's what I don't get - why would it be inappropriate for you to
drink, eat and partake in conversation, yet entirely appropriate for you to even attend in the first place? I find this bizarre, to say the least.

It is assumed that the escort of a guest is also a guest, unless there was an explicit request to leave spouses/significant other at home. If you don't want to partake in the festivities, fine, but your delivery was rude. Personally, I don't see why you even bothered to show up in the first place.
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:52 PM
Response to Reply #86
90. You'll just have to take his word for it, you had to be there, I guess...
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 08:03 PM
Response to Reply #86
96. I agree -- I can't fathom this either n/t
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 10:16 PM
Response to Reply #77
98. I just can't take this seriously.
Edited on Mon Jul-03-06 10:20 PM by Kajsa
Going to a social gathering and refusing all food and drink?

not for religious reasons
not because of fasting

I don't think so--

Oh, about your " I don't drink with you"

That you say to someone you're about to challenge
to a duel.

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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 11:25 PM
Response to Reply #77
100. if you're just there to escort you should stay outside. seriously.
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1monster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:49 AM
Response to Reply #77
119. Then don't go. Unless, of course, it is your intention to embarrass your
wife?
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:12 AM
Response to Reply #119
128. Agreed
If you find it inappropriate to accept hospitality at a party to which you were invited, then don't go to any parties.

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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #77
168. It was highly inappropriate to breathe the air in their house too.
You're wacky.
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:37 PM
Response to Reply #77
180. Why? Could you just explain that much? I don't get it!
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #77
181. I'm just wondering how...
you can move with that rather large broomstick up your butt. Are you Vulcan or what?
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mzteris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 02:02 PM
Response to Reply #77
211. WHY???
for god's sake why do you keep saying this?

I think that is the "other" thing that people just are *not* getting here.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?

WHY was it "inappropriate" for you to drink or eat ANYTHING at your's wife's coworker's party?

I really do want to know - and so does every other poster on this thread, I think.


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Schema Thing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:08 PM
Response to Original message
81. Because as you describe the scene, you were an asshole
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:12 PM
Response to Original message
82. I've used that phrase before,
but only as a mortal insult.

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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
83. "I don't trust a man who won't take a drink."
This statement was made in open court by a district court judge in Oklahoma.

He's a cool guy. ;)

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
84. Because it's fucking rude, and intended solely to insult and upset people.
It's a clear and amazingly succinct and brilliant insult - like a cold-cock to the kidneys.

It's one of those perfectly non-profane ways to say "fuck off you piece of shit, I think you are despicable, worthless, and utterly beneath my contempt and not worth any more of my time even if you're breathing had stopped and I was the only doctor in the county".

If you had intended that, I'd say you were brilliant at the way you brushed the bitch off. But since you don't seem to realize it's an insult, now you know. It is. It's a wonderful one!

And I am totally unclear why you think that if you can't drink or eat at a party hosted by your wife's co-worker. If you are invited, the assumption of the invite is that you are, in fact, eligible to eat and drink.
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:55 PM
Response to Reply #84
92. Also, it's more proper to add "mothafuckaa" at the end of the insult.
Example usage:

"I don't drink with YOU, MOTHAFUCKAAA."

See how much better?
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #92
169. ala Samuel L. Jackson "I don't muthafuckin drink with you, muthafucka!"
:rofl:
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:09 PM
Response to Reply #169
172. Followed by a drive-by when the party is getting ready to break up.
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tinfoilinfor2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:50 PM
Response to Original message
87. Depends. What were you wearing?
If you came in a Jason mask carrying an axe, it probably would be appropriate. People would then expect a response along those lines.
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kittenpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 09:56 PM
Response to Reply #87
97. oh my god
:rofl:
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #87
165. ROFL!!
:rofl:
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northzax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #87
212. or a Klan robe
at a synagouge, perhaps?
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 07:52 PM
Response to Original message
91. Maybe they are followers of Valentine "Michael" Smith?
That would be an insult to them.
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Bryan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-03-06 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
99. Everybody upthread is right, this is a stunning example of rudeness
I've got Asperger's Syndrome. I abhor social gatherings of any stripe. If I can get away with not looking you in the eye and brushing you off with a few words so I don't have to waste energy with the parry and thrust of conversation, I do it. But I would never rebuff someone who is simply trying to be a good host by offering drinks. Is there such a caste separation between you and your wife's co-workers that a "I'm not in the mood for a drink" would have been wildly inappropriate?
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:02 AM
Response to Reply #99
102. You see, he had already declined a drink several times, such that this
manner of response became the only option left...
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:46 AM
Response to Original message
104. Because it makes them think that you don't like/ trust them
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KatyMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 02:33 AM
Response to Original message
105. I hope my wife
never gets invited to one of your parties so I don't have to accompany her and stand around not eating, drinking or speaking...
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:05 AM
Response to Reply #105
106. What I feel is appropriate and what you might feel is appropriate

have nothing to do with one another.
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KatyMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:16 AM
Response to Reply #106
107. True enough
but if you invite your neighbor over to your house and say, "hey bring your wife" and they know what you find 'appropriate' but his wife still speaks and partakes, you'll be judging her as being inappropriate when in fact she's just participating in a social occasion she to which she was invited. Does the term 'wet blanket' mean anything to you?

Actually, I believe this is a wind up.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:27 AM
Response to Reply #107
108. I would have no reason to judge what someone else finds appropriate

for themselves, that would be way out of my place.
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KatyMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #108
115. Out of curiousity
why, exactly, is it inappropriate? If it's inappropriate for you to participate in a function you were clearly invited to, isn't it then logically, inappropriate for you to be there? I assume you brought your own oxygen supply?

Why am I even reading this thread, let alone responding to it?????!!!11!
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:46 AM
Response to Reply #115
116. Why I was there had nothing to do with the people at the party

I was there to accompany my wife. Not to be a part of their party.
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:52 AM
Response to Reply #116
121. If you were accomanying your wife, you were part of the party.
Otherwise you should have been sitting on the doorstep outside, or in your car.
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KatyMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:54 AM
Response to Reply #116
122. I give up
Edited on Tue Jul-04-06 08:56 AM by Kentish Man
I'm going to the GD to find something rational.

Shameless plug: If there's anyone in London reading this, can you visit my post on US Food in the UK in the UK forum? I'm dying for a chilli cheese dog with a real hot dog and can't find one here.

--edited to fix html
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kedrys Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:19 AM
Response to Reply #116
130. So you were there to chaperone your wife?
That's the only explanation that makes sense in the context you present. Or I don't get it, which is a distinct possibility as well. :shrug:
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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:19 AM
Response to Reply #116
151. You make it sound like you are hired help or something.
Does your wife pay you to attend these functions with her?
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:25 AM
Response to Reply #151
153. no, she simply asked if I wanted to go with her
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 04:02 PM
Response to Reply #116
185. Then you should not have gone
What, your wife can't go out without you? If you are accompanying her to a party, then you are by extension a guest at that party and should behave like one, not like an unmannered boor who simply lurks around not eating or drinking or socializing. It's rude, off-putting and uncomfortable. And it smacks of "keeping an eye on" your wife (whether it was or not).
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:53 AM
Response to Reply #108
135. But yet you judged the hostess as inappropriate for asking you
if you wanted a drink.

:shrug:

All I can say is, after reading this thread and watching it for a day, I hope I never accidentally invite your wife to a party and you decide to come to "stand next to her but not participate in the party in any way and insult the host when he offers you a drink."

That is one bizarre way of thinking, sir.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:03 AM
Response to Reply #135
147. No I didn't, at least the first 5 or 4 times she asked

I thought after telling her no thanks, she would be able to understand that I did not want any.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:11 AM
Response to Reply #147
148. Not in the beginning, no. But eventually you did.
I'm not saying you're wrong in thinking her rude - sounds to me like she was way to pushy, and not sensitive to you as a guest.

But, you did eventually judge her as being inappropriate - I only say this to point out that we ALL make those judgments, and do so all the time (both wrongly and rightly; both when necessary and when not necessary) and that to say that you don't make these judgments is hypocritical.
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:18 AM
Response to Reply #148
150. actually I don't think I judged her anything, no reason to think anything

of her, I don't know her. I believe I was forced to make an attempt past simply saying no thanks to make her understand my wishes. Perhaps she did not accept the fact that I am a free human being able to determine that I can chose what I do and do not wish to eat and drink. Maybe she thinks people should just do as she tells them to do.
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:31 AM
Response to Original message
110. I honestly think that this wins
the most bizarre thread I've seen on D.U.

Why would somebody find it insulting?

Because as it stands it means, I'm better than you, you're lower than I.

If there were some religious reason why you don't drink alcohol, or don't drink with others, then some vague allusion to it would have made everything fine - but it would appear that the only limitation is your very very odd view that it's "not appropriate", clearly the hostess thought it was appropriate and surely that is the person to decide.

No personal offence, but you were down-right rude and it caused upset (unsurprisingly).
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:30 AM
Response to Reply #110
155. No, THIS one might rank even higher:
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kedrys Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #155
160. Hooooo-kay...
It's a toss-up, but this is the one I've posted in, so I'm a bit partial to it. The fascinated horror factor is high for both threads.

Thanks for the link - it explains a post higher up in the chain.
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 12:53 PM
Response to Reply #155
166. ooooooooooh
well then....that does make things more interesting. :o
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #155
193. LOL!
:rofl:
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AngryAmish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 04:36 PM
Response to Reply #155
227. Kaufmanesque
Beautiful.
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 06:34 PM
Response to Reply #227
230. YES! "Kaufmanesque"! That is "le mot juste" which I sought...
This thread, I think, wins the Nobel Prize for... whatever the quality is that this thread possesses.

Kaufmanesque is completely appropriate.

Only about 30 percent of the genius of the thread is in the actual phrase "I don't drink with you."

It's the obtuse responses on the thread, prompting all the rage and fury, that are the secret ingredient here. :thumbsup:
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Beaverhausen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #155
229. Oh yeah- I thought of that one immediately
a classic.
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KatyMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 08:47 AM
Response to Original message
117. Actually
you could have just said "We don't grok in fullness" or "I'm in the middle of pan phar"

OK, I'll tell the truth, I'm at work and bored and had an appropriately consumed beer at lunch and have nothing that I feel like doing right now so I'm hanging in the Lounge....
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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #117
152. LOL!
Most sensible response I've read yet. :rofl:
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Spider Jerusalem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:17 AM
Response to Original message
129. Because it's rude and insulting?
Implied in your phrasing: 'I drink, but not with people like you.'

It's a flat and outright rejection of offered hospitality, phrased in a stunningly ill-mannered way...it's rather obvious that this person was attempting to make you feel part of the gathering by offering you a drink (repeatedly, as you said)...your rejection of same says 'no, thanks...I want nothing to do with you people.'

It looks like you really need to brush up on your etiquette.
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eyesroll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:20 AM
Response to Original message
131. If your wife RSVP'd that both of you were coming, your host probably
budgeted for food and drink for you. If that was the case, your refusal to eat or drink created an expense for no good reason. (Would you also refuse the food if the affair was catered and thus the host paid a steep price per person?)

"I don't drink with you" adds insult to injury.

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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:23 AM
Response to Original message
132. ROTFLMFAO.........
Edited on Tue Jul-04-06 09:25 AM by wildhorses
:kick:

RGBolen my hat is off to you sir! You have manifested one of the most inane and insane threads that has ever been my sincere pleasure to read

:patriot:



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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #132
136. I don't respond to RGBolen threads.
I'm here to accompany my fellow DUers, not to be part of the thread. ;-)
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kedrys Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #136
137. In that case, stand over there and be quiet.
Look surly, if at all possible. :rofl:
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #136
157. LOL
Perfect! :rofl: Seriously, I can't believe this thread is still going.....
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:06 PM
Response to Reply #136
170. fantastic!
:rofl:
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KatyMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:10 AM
Response to Reply #132
138. Since I agree this is a wind up,
I'm trying to envision the character that would be like this. I'm thinking it would be either the guy from the Save It For Later video that's trying to read, or this guy:



But only if it's a joke. If it's not, my bad. Just having fun, 20 minutes until it's time to go home for the day!
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Bassic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:51 AM
Response to Reply #132
144. That is true, and I am proud to be a part of this futility
:D
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:35 AM
Response to Reply #132
156. And not for the first time, either:
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 05:05 PM
Response to Reply #156
187. OMG...I have to bookmark this thread....just so I can read
THAT thread...you know I will be :rofl:

especially since I work in an emergency room...

good lord I can't wait to get home from work and read it!!!

RGBolen...*curtsy* to the MASTER
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:44 AM
Response to Original message
133. You asked the question
but it seems you don't want to hear the answer.

If this isn't a put-on, you have a serious social problem. You would do well to listen to what the group here- unanimously-- is telling you.

If not, why did you ask?
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Dear Bastards Donating Member (40 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:29 AM
Response to Original message
139. Your original question aside
you should give yourself major points for remaining civil within this thread, when a good a good deal of the responses have not been. Rudeness being, incidentally, what they are accusing you of.

I think there are a number of hyper-critical social butterflys who have a hard time thinking outside the scope of their ridiculously scripted social mores.

For this to have legitimately been taken as as insult it would have to be said in a particularly sullen tone. And, given that you'd politely declined several times previous, perhaps that was justified.

I think most of the objection centers on the odd phrasing. Was it a faux pas? Maybe, but then so is cutting the cheese :D
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Spider Jerusalem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:44 AM
Response to Reply #139
141. Well...
as far as your comment about 'social butterflies': I have Asperger's Syndrome, and am quite introverted, and very far from a 'social butterfly'; not to mention that I tend to be more blunt and direct in my phrasing than is sometimes considered socially 'appropriate', and to find much social interaction pointless, tedious, and mystifying...yet even I find saying to someone 'I don't drink with you' to be tremendously rude and insulting, in any context.
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:25 AM
Response to Reply #139
154. The joke's on you.
Edited on Tue Jul-04-06 11:27 AM by Gormy Cuss
The OP likes to post a provocative thread every once in a while.



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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:06 PM
Response to Reply #139
171. "I don't fart with you." Now that would have been more polite.
:rofl:
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tjdee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:39 AM
Response to Original message
140. The reason it's so rude is that your expectation of "appropriate" is not
the same as the hostess', obviously.

You keep saying that it's not the issue, whether you thought it was appropriate, but it IS the issue. The reason the lady kept offering you something is clearly because she felt it was appropriate for you to have a sip/bite of something. You say she kept offering, and that's why.

For you to say "I don't drink with you" sounds like a personal insult, as if it's specifically HER you "don't drink with". Since you said I don't drink "WITH YOU". It was rude, even if you didn't mean it that way.
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Dear Bastards Donating Member (40 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:44 AM
Response to Reply #140
142. Thats not a fair interpretation
Since you said I don't drink "WITH YOU". It was rude, even if you didn't mean it that way.

"I don't drink with you" sounds like something Jesus would say to his disciples right before the Roman soliders took him away or something. Would it be an insult in that context?

That may sound absurd, but the point is that inflection matters and you seem to be inventing the above.

As a man at a party for group I have very little interaction with, I can tell you I would feel very little obligation to kow tow to an obnoxious, busy-body host who couldn't take a hint. But then that's just me...and the rest of the non-effete male population

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tjdee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 10:52 AM
Response to Reply #142
145. Yes, it would.
Even with the nicest of inflections, "I don't drink with you" sounds unnatural, and mean for the reasons I stated. He didn't say "I don't think it's appropriate for me to drink here" or "I don't want to drink at a work function". He said "*I* don't drink WITH YOU."

Subtext there "I don't like you enough to have a drink with you". Period.

Sometimes people won't take no for an answer, obviously, but when he says something like that and then questions WHY they would go off in a huff (which is what the original post was about)....

Surely he can't be surprised at that reaction?
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:38 AM
Response to Reply #145
158. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #158
159. no, both events happened
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tjdee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:56 AM
Response to Reply #158
162. Thank you, makes a lot more sense now.
:there's no thanks icon :( :
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #142
186. "Non-effete male population"?
Does that mean that only effete men are polite? Because being polite to your host or hostess, regardless of whether they are "obnoxious, busy-bodies who can't take a hint" is part of being a good guest.

As for it sounding like something Jesus would say - well, perhaps Jesus has finally decided to join DU. Can I get an amen? :eyes: (Oh, and by the way, it would be rude if Jesus said it, too)
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Bridget Burke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 08:58 AM
Response to Reply #142
202. Oh, so you think "I don't drink with you" means he's "non-effete"?
Wouldn't a "manly man" have requested a shot of tequila?

If someone really wants to avoid a social gathering, he needs to stay home. Was he afraid that his wife might have had an interesting conversation without his glowering presence?

Jesus had just eaten & drunk with his disciples before the Romans turned up.

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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 07:40 PM
Response to Reply #142
239. What kind of crack is "non effette"?
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 11:49 AM
Response to Original message
161. I don't know. That woman must have her head in a dark smelly place.
If I offered someone a drink several times and they responded "I don't drink with you," I would simply respond by saying thanks. After all, the fact that you don't drink with me is ultimately doing *ME* the favor. :evilgrin:
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
167. thank you
i haven't laughed this hard in ages. fantastic thread! :thumbsup:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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LouisianaLiberal Donating Member (848 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #167
173. This whole, odd thread can be viewed here:
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:14 PM
Response to Reply #173
175. LOL a must see
:rofl:
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wildhorses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 05:18 PM
Response to Reply #173
189. that is SPOT ON....Hooray for sharing it
although RGBolen did not want anyone to share anything...
wonder if he watched it?
RGBolen YOU are my HERO!!!

you do effortlessly what some of us STRIVE to do here on a daily basis...

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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:14 PM
Response to Original message
174. 176 posts later...
I still don't understand why you said that, RGBolen. Excuse me for saying it, but I'm sure that woman you said it to is still scratching her head, too!
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:21 PM
Response to Reply #174
176. It's all good though, everyone had fun on the thread, noone got their eye
poked out.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:23 PM
Response to Reply #176
177. That is the important thing!
:)
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:24 PM
Response to Reply #177
178. It's the JOURNEY, not the destination!
:rofl:
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #176
179. But the million dollar question has not been answered!
WHY wasn't it appropriate? I mean, if the poster has leprosy, I could imagine it might not be appropriate to touch anyone or anything. If the poster has aphagia and vomits every time he swallows something, it might be best not to eat or drink at a party. If the party was at Jim Jone's People's Church and the drink of the hour was KOOL AID, I might gather that it wouldn't be appropriate and I, too, might respond, "I don't drink with you!" But how was it not appropriate?

It sounds to me like a weak social construct invented solely to justify that he didn't want to eat or drink! IF that was the case, why not say, "I appreciate your persistence in being a good hostess but I REALLY don't want a drink!"
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deucemagnet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 07:18 PM
Response to Reply #179
192. Because declining refreshments is acceptable,
but rejecting hospitality is rude. Regardless of what the OP "deems acceptable", he should conform to the conventions of polite society when invited to a party.

The moral of this story: iconoclasts make poor party guests.

BTW, funny thread! :rofl:
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 01:38 AM
Response to Reply #179
196. It could be a martyrdom complex
See, I am at this party with you, my lovely wife, but I refuse to enjoy myself!
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OhioBlue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 03:39 PM
Response to Original message
182. Are you James Carville?
because then... it would make sense.
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targetpractice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 03:43 PM
Response to Reply #182
183. Brilliant! n/t
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tinfoilinfor2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 07:14 PM
Response to Reply #183
191. I agree. James could certainly be excused for saying to his
"lovely" (cough cough) wife's friends, "I don't drink with you."

Sadly for the OP, James would never behave in this manner, even to a group of bushbots. For all his faults, he is a gentleman.
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senseandsensibility Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-04-06 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #182
194. Good one!
Alas, I don't think James is as uncomfortable at his wife's parties as we would be.
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faithnotgreed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 01:18 AM
Response to Original message
195. it would be one of my lifes regrets to have missed this thread
and now - i think for the very first time - i will respond with

LOL


this thread is hysterical in a might magazine kind of way
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 12:28 PM
Response to Reply #195
205. isn't it though?
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faithnotgreed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #205
215. ohno yoko
its too early for me to laugh that hard again
and to think - i was listening to "since you asked" by judy collins

swear
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progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 03:22 PM
Response to Reply #215
219. what i'll give you, since you asked....
...is all my time together

i LOVE that song! :bounce:
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faithnotgreed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 03:26 PM
Response to Reply #219
220. take the rugged sunny days
the warm and rocky weather



my GOD it is all powerful

now its albatross
its a beautiful rainy day here so this is just perfect
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 07:41 PM
Response to Reply #205
240. Best copycat thread of ALL TIME
Edited on Wed Jul-05-06 07:41 PM by LostinVA
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Richard Steele Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 02:00 AM
Response to Original message
198. RGB, have you ever been tested for AUTISM or its variants?
I ask because the way you just keep repeating "it wouldn't be appropriate"
just SCREAMS "autistic" to me. And I know whereof I speak.

It sounds EXACTLY like the kind of thing I would decide to myself,
and then stubbornly repeat without offering any valid rationale.


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faithnotgreed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 03:18 PM
Response to Reply #198
217. i must admit that was among my first thoughts too
Edited on Wed Jul-05-06 03:29 PM by faithnotgreed
but then i got laughing at everyones responses

i really did wonder about an autism spectrum possibility
in fact i would imagine anyone who has any experience with this would think it as well

on edit: this shouldnt be funny
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DrGonzoLives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 08:32 AM
Response to Original message
201. The sweet smell of flamebait...
Confirmed based on reading through this thread. You just wanted to start an argument, didn't you?

You could have been polite and said you weren't thirsty.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 09:04 AM
Response to Original message
203. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
208. Is this still going?
I'm starting to wonder if it's about to turn into the next "kudzu" thread. :eyes:
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DrGonzoLives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 03:20 PM
Response to Reply #208
218. I'm bullish on Not Drinking With You
It's going places!
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myrna minx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 01:15 PM
Response to Original message
209. This thread is hilarious!
:rofl:
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #209
213. I know....especially this:


:rofl:
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myrna minx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #213
214. LOL!
:spray: I'm grateful to have read the "hit and run" thread too. :rofl: I especially love the exchanges between A-S and the OP. :rofl:
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 03:27 PM
Response to Original message
221. RGBolen... please post again to this thread. I need more material.
:bounce:
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 04:15 PM
Response to Reply #221
224. I'm sure you can insult and degrade me without my helping you do so
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 04:19 PM
Response to Reply #224
226. Thanks!!
:bounce:
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 07:42 PM
Response to Reply #224
241. She is a master!
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
222. This is one of the goofiest things I have ever read
Is it possible that someone could be so socially inept? Here we have a post from someone who doesn't appear to be mentally deficient (judging from the use of English), but claims to be so socially retarded that he thinks it is appropriate he should accompany his wife to a party (which he was invited to-the invitation was for her and a guest, according to posts in the thread) and stand in a closet the whole time.

I really can't take this seriously. Don't tell me-you did eventually take a drink, and then made a point to pour it on the floor in front of the hostess, then threw the glass down in disgust, and you still can't understand why she was insulted, right? Then you slapped her and cursed at her, and STILL she was insulted? Who could possibly understand why?
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patcox2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 04:03 PM
Response to Original message
223. Let me guess, you work in IT?
NT
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RB TexLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 04:16 PM
Response to Reply #223
225. no
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-06-06 04:07 AM
Response to Reply #223
243. That has to be the best response yet.
:rofl:
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AngryAmish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
228. Trust me, drinking in those situations is best
I love this thread!
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Mayberry Machiavelli Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 06:35 PM
Response to Original message
231. Can your kudzu thread do THIS?
I THOUGHT not!
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
232. It was a very rude and condescending remark.
But it worked. :shrug:

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 06:54 PM
Response to Original message
234. Guys, guys, guys. Can't you tell when your chain is being yanked?
I'm pretty oblivious in general, but it's clear to me.

I doubt this even happened. But he sure got a rise out of everyone, didn't he?

Redstone
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 06:58 PM
Response to Reply #234
235. My mother works at a nut house
She describes people like this all the time. They crave attention so badly they make up stupid shit for conversation. It's actually pretty sad.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #235
236. Works, though, doesn't it? Made quite a lengthy conversation,
after all.

Redstone
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 07:06 PM
Response to Reply #236
237. True, but I
honestly feel sorry for people who have to deal with this personality type in an intimate situation. It's got to be tiresome!
It seems to me that the weird passive agressive behavior would come into play as well.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #237
238. I'm inclined to believe you're right, given the obstinate and extremely
Edited on Wed Jul-05-06 07:30 PM by Redstone
repetitive "defensive" posts. Kind of like what an eight-year-old kid does when he wants to irritate his parents. At least my kids did it at that age.

Edited for a typo and to say I'm outa this thread. I'd rather let it die a merciful (for the rest of us) death than help keep it going.

Redstone
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DrGonzoLives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jul-06-06 06:29 AM
Response to Reply #235
244. There was a guy on DU once
Named jiacinto, who used to do this - post something sure to generate insults, then act hurt when the insults arrived.

I wonder...
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jul-05-06 11:57 PM
Response to Original message
242. So, RGBolen, were you pulling our legs... or was this for real?
Just curious.
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