Which department should I take?

[jmowreader]

Poll question: Which department should I take?

We've got a bunch of department head slots open at the store. I interviewed for one on Tuesday, and the store manager told me I'm probably gonna get one.

Right now we have three slots open--Plumbing, Electrical and Inside Garden. All have advantages and disadvantages.

Plumbing
Advantages: This is a small department--only three aisles. It's easy to maintain. It's got sufficient staff to deal with the problem. And since installed HVAC systems fall under this department, it gets at least eight $15,000 single-ticket sales per month credited to it.

Disadvantages: The biggest DISadvantage is that the department used to belong to a guy who's just been promoted to assistant manager, so everything you do is naturally going to be compared to what he did. The other one is that it's very possible to spend two hours making a $5 sale. Other than that, I just have to worry about what time to put people on the floor. We've got this new staffing plan called LEAP. Whoever invented it took a giant leap from their good senses. Under LEAP, you staff heaviest when sales are heaviest...unfortunately for plumbing, sales are heaviest when it's full of plumbers, who don't need help--and lowest when it's full of homeowners, who need it badly. Pretty much every DH in the building revises the schedules, and this I must do to be successful.

Electrical
Advantages: You've got very good potential for capturing sales from people who are shopping in other departments..."wouldn't this paint look great with oak switch plates? Wouldn't this floor look fantastic with brass lights?" You've got a lot of commercial customers. Once again, you've got plenty of good associates.

Disadvantage: This slot is open because the assistant manager over electrical is going to kill the department head who's in there now next time he sees him. The guy has fucked this department up about as much as it's possible to do, so the first task of any DH who goes over there is to unfuck the department.

Inside Garden
Advantages: This is a completely new store every three months. They have some of the more entertaining products in the building. They are responsible for all the patio furniture, the Christmas decorations, the lawn mowers and the grills. You can do a lot with this department. You've got to walk through Inside Garden to get to the manager's office, so anything you do that's good will be seen by the boss.

Disadvantages: The primary disadvantage of being DH in this area is their half-million-dollar sales plan. Let's put this in perspective: We have eleven stores in our district. Two of these stores--and by this I mean the entire store, not just garden--have sales plans lower than this department does. It's right at the front door, so presentation is everything. There are two stores in Fayetteville, excluding gas stations, that sell a greater volume of hazardous materials than this department does; both of them are industrial chemical suppliers. It's also our regional vice president's pet department--she comes in twice a year, spends eight hours going over Garden with a fine tooth comb, and leaves. The department actually runs under two department heads--one inside and one outside. And it's a good thing for that too--my wife works in Outside Garden, so it would be a bit touchy from the company's point of view, although I have been assured that's not a problem. Besides, the smell of the pesticide aisle makes me wanna puke every time I go near it.

So! Should all three departments be offered to me, which should I choose?

[rug]

1. Based on your posts, I'd put you in customer relations.

[Bunny]

2. Inside Garden seems to have the most disadvantages, but also

the most plusses. It sounds like it would be WAY more intesting and fun than plumbing or electrical. I'd go with that. Do you recieve a commission on total sales in your department, and how do the three areas stack up in that regard?

[jmowreader]

5. No commission

Now, the enemy pays commission on appliance sales to whichever associate makes the sale (no matter which department they're in), which we don't, which explains why you can walk into a Lowe's and find half the people in the building hanging out real close to the appliance department. They also pay commission on window and door sales, which leads to such humorous statements as "Our interior doors are better than Home Depot's interior doors." The only difference between a Lowe's ReliaBilt door and a Home Depot Masonite door is the name on the side of the package. The fucking BAR CODES MATCH! Go to a Lowe's, get a door and return it to a Home Depot. If you get a cashier that's too stupid to read the label on the side of the door (because it will have a five-digit Lowe's SKU instead of a six-digit Home Depot one, and it will say "Lowe's" instead of "Home Depot" under the SKU) they'll take the door back, no problem. I've got six Lowe's doors sitting on the shelf right now. They scan just like Home Depot doors. Because they are the same doors.

I'm not real sure that commission thing is all it's cracked up to be...on youareworthmore.com, you can find all sorts of bitching about Lowe's miscalculating commissions.

And I DEFINITELY know it's not a good thing in window sales, because it encourages the associate to do stupid shit. Example: A while back someone came in clutching a window quote from Lowe's and asked if I could beat it. I read through the thing and said no. The Lowe's quote was for about a dozen windows. All of them were eight feet high (they were going in a 10-foot wall) and none of them were tempered--which is required, by at least North Carolina law (it should be a federal law), on any window where the sill sits 18 inches or less from the floor. Further, all of them had clear insulated glass. I told them I wouldn't write a quote for an 8-foot window that wasn't tempered because if a window that big breaks the glass shards are capable of killing someone. I further told them I wouldn't write one for a window that big that wasn't low-E glass because your heating bill will send you to the poor house without it. But I would write them a quote for windows they'd like and they could take the quote to Lowe's and see if THEY could match it. They left the store two hours later after having paid for the windows I quoted--apparently they liked the idea of buying windows from people who actually know windows. Fucking Lowe's, man, you can walk in that place and find people who don't know what epoxy is. It's glue!

[wildhorses]

3. inside the garden

is the only place to be

[riona]

4. Except for the pesticide smell,

garden would probably be the most interesting and least customer hassle.