How do you get rid of your desire for someone?

[begin_within]

When it's clear that person doesn't feel that way about you.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

1. By running into another, tastier someone. -nt

[xchrom]

2. this too shall pass.

whether you like it or not.

such is the nature of situations like that.

[begin_within]

5. Thanks

I think it passes more quickly if you have no exposure to that person, but sometimes situations make that difficult.

[wildhorses]

3. well, you could take a knife and cut out your heart

might be kinda messy though...

[billyskank]

4. By desiring somebody else

In my experience, it's the only way. ;)

[crispini]

6. Go out and date large quantities of other people.

I mean, LOTS. You'll probably have to go on the internet to do it. I recommend Craigslist. The goal here is not to find someone new, the goal here is just to go out and meet people, so you need to ask a TON of people out, even if they sound vaguely nice, just do it. Try to have two or three dates a week. Again I repeat, you're not actually trying to get into a relationship here, you're just trying to date.

The point is to give yourself enough interesting distractions, and develop a sense of "what's out there." Heh.

[Road Scholar]

7. It's like quitting smoking. Desire dies a little every day.

[Mutley]

11. Unless you're in contact with the person you desire every day.

[begin_within]

15. That's the problem! It's a lot easier if you never see them.

[miss_american_pie]

8. Don't try to fight it

Just honor the emotion and breathe through it, and eventually it'll end. :hug:

[Wetzelbill]

9. I wish I knew

Time. Lots of it. For me though it has taken wayyyyy to long. I don't deal well with that sort of thing.

[Deja Q]

10. The waves of time wash clean.

Time runs slowly, but nothing's perfect.

[begin_within]

14. Time washes clean / Love's wounds unseen (Linda Ronstadt)

[Coventina]

12. In my experience, getting to know them better can effectively kill it

I get mad crushes on people, and usually when I get to know them better, it cools rapidly.

[begin_within]

13. Thanks

[NNadir]

16. By falling in love.

I remember from a long time ago, being obsessed with women I could no longer have, feeling this hollowness, this incredible pain.

I can't remember very much about these former objects of my obsession at all.

One of my favorite quotes, from Jean Ingelow, is this: "I have lived to thank God that all my prayers have not been answered."

I'd probably be through my second or third divorce if I'd had what I wanted back then. Now I am happy and fulfilled, happily married, with zero divorces to my "credit."

[Berzerkley]

17. By meeting other people

It helps that once, like you said Bob, it becomes clear that the person you desire doesn’t feel the same way about you, to try to meet other people and try to put that person behind you. I know it’s difficult. If you’re like me, you probably get real attached to people. But there are a lot of other great people out there and you don’t owe fidelity to someone who has none towards you.

My experiences have taught me no matter how great you think your crush is, or how perfect of a match that person might seem to you... someone else will eventually come along to grab your interest. It might take a while but it will happen and after that... who knows? You might really find that special someone that feels the same way about you!

[jpgray]

18. Time and lack of contact, generally

Sometimes not even the second one.

[no name no slogan]

19. Looking at pictures of Madonna. Push-ups. Drinking lite beer.

Usually works for me.

[gollygee]

20. Time and desire for other people

are the only two answers to that problem.

[Haole Girl]

21. Move?

It may not be the best advice, but worked for me.

[chookie]

22. Here's a 17th c solution:

This is from Robert Burton's famous work, "The Anatomy of Melancholy", from 1632.
http://www.wsu.edu:8080/~rlblair/burton.html

He advises, when measures such as musical diversions, entertainments and travel do not stop one's friend from sinking into melancholy/dark depression over a disappointment in love, that, as a last resort, one should get a filthy, stinking rag, thrust it in the face of the afflicted and shout -- "THIS is thy beloved!"

Hope that helps. :-)