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Anybody can die at any time. Nothing in life is guaranteed.

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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 04:50 PM
Original message
Anybody can die at any time. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
How does one make one's self comfortable with such uncertainty?

We've all worked to build up our lives. Knowing how easy it is for them to be torn down so easily is saddening.

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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
1. Live each day as if it is your last
If there's anything I learned from being hospitalized last year, it's that you should never take anything for granted.
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MiniMandaRuth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 07:53 PM
Response to Reply #1
22. Heh. Even though it's true, every time I heart someone say that,
I think of my friend.

"Live every day like it was my last?"

Then, he runs around screaming and crying, saying he doesn't want to die, he jumps up on a bench and does some weird dance, he kisses one of our mutual (male) friends on the cheek, and then goes up to another friend of mine, and punches him in the gut.

"Now... if only I could do that everyday...." And then he ran away from the friend he kissed, and the one he punched.

:rofl: It was GREAT.
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no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 08:10 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. ....
:spray:

SWEET! That's what I'd do, too, if I could get away with it :P
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
2. You can't think like that
Yeah, bad shit is going to happen. That's a given. But you won't make yourself any happier obsessing about the bad stuff. If life is going well for you then revel in the good times. If things are shitty think about ways that you can make it better and reflect on good times.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
3. Well, maybe since my life has been nothing but uncertainty
I find I don't think about it too much. The way I look at it is, we all die sooner or later, there's not a damn thing I can do about it, so I'm not going to waste my time worrying about it. I just try to be as good a person as I can and hopefully the (admittedly small) impact I have on the world with be a positive one.

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Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 04:58 PM
Response to Original message
4. Comfortable?
Here's a poem for you:

A word, a sentence -: out of ciphers arises
perceived life, abrupt sense,
the sun stands still, the spheres are silent,
and everything converges round the world.

A word - a gleam, a soaring flight, a fire,
a cast of flame, a shooting star -,
and darkness again, vast,
in the empty space round world and I.

Gottfried Benn


It's not about being comfortable, it's about walking on, whatever path we're on. Believe me, it might take a lot of time. Hang in. There's a future awaiting you. And these are not empty words at all. Walk.
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 04:59 PM
Response to Original message
5. Simple. Live each day and savor every moment as if it is your last. Live
your life fulfilling all your wildest dreams.

Spend your days making sure you're doing what makes you happy, and being kind to people and animals, and in doing good things for others. Lead a good life based on ethics and compassion and with integrity.

And in the end, when your moment comes, you'll be smiling.

And don't let the bastards get you down... you can choose how you let others affect you. And yes, sometimes the things people do really hurt our feelings. But, minimize how long and how much you allow their negative nasty bullshit affect you. Reframe the event, minimize and toss it out once. Don't review or rehash it... leave it in that emotional trash can.

And just smile.

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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
6. Lost two of the dearest people in the world this week. What a story.
My ex in-laws; I loved them dearly, and they were family until the end - this week. Married for 60 years, and ironically I would have been married for 30 years to their daughter last Sunday if we would have made it. But I was married to her for 18 years, and we raised a fine daughter. I am older now than they were when I married her daughter in 1976, and they died at 81. They died 4 days apart; him first of a massive stroke Sunday, sharp to the end; her more quietly, of Alzheimer's, on Wednesday, the day of his memorial service. Neither knew of the other's death, and now they are together. The memories - holidays, tennis, dinners, vacations, family - I am so glad I loved them as son in law, and then the ex-son in law, and they loved me. Excuse me. I feel a sniffle coming on.
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:21 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. I'm so sorry ..
That is a terrible loss. I'm glad you maintained a sense of family with them though (If I read your post right).

please accept my condolences.

aA
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. Thank you so much, but there is also a beauty and grace to it.
I weep, but I also know we are all going to go. They loved each other unconditionally for 60 years, raised seven children, achieved great respect and love, fought for the right things that we believe in, and went quietly within a week of each other - with neither knowing the other had died, and with family gathered for the first death from as far as China and Portugal, and therefore present for the unexpected second death as well. There are far worse ways to go. We confront our own mortality in situations like this, and the loss of folks so dearly important to us. But this is a wonderful story, as well, which I am still trying to understand; ultimately, this is not about Death. It's about Life. And it's filled with beauty and grace. Many thanks to you; your post is deeply, deeply appreciated.
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 09:57 PM
Response to Reply #14
24. they left a legacy ...
It IS a wonderful story, a bittersweet ending. :hug:

be well :)

aA
kesha
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
7. No day but today.
:)


I just saw Rent on broadway so that's my new slogan of the month! :)
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
8. I don't know. My anxiety increased after a couple people suddenly died
Just as I was starting my adult life. My uncle's wife and one of my dad's close friends both suddenly died of heart attacks. They went from perfectly fine to dead in less than 5 minutes.
When I had my first panic attack, I was convinced that I was going to die in the same way.
Since then a couple more people have died suddenly.
We are left with the question: Why do life when there is death? and Why should we let ourselves become attatched to people when they could drop dead at any moment?
I am still struggling.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Tough questions
And I too have suffered a lot of deaths, beginning at a young age. For a long time, I built up a wall to keep people out so I wouldn't suffer when I lost them. Problem was, I was living alone behind a wall.

Why become attached to people when they could drop dead at any minute? Because otherwise you're just alone with no real meaning or attachments at all. Death is part of life - never fun to lose those you love but what's the sense of going through life without loving at all? As far as your other question, I struggled with that, too. But though there's a lot of sorrow in life, there's a lot of joy, too. I'll have eternity to explore death - I figure I'll take the time I'm given to explore life.

:hug:
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. I don't know about you
But I'm going to live it up while I'm here. The alternatives are boredom or sadness which both suck.

"Why do life when there is death?"

Wouldn't you agree that being alive is better than being dead? If you don't then you need counseling.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:59 PM
Response to Reply #10
16. Death is tantamount to a surgery-induced coma.
I've been dead before.

I am in counseling, if that concerns you.

But as more DUers are starting to point out, I am a quiet, introverted, pained person (psychologically as well as corporeally).

And to think I'm exponentially more social than I was even 9 years ago. (and even then...)

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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. Alright man
I was talking to Nikia, but if you feel those words apply to you then ok.

I was suicidal for ten years. I love life now. Sometimes people need meds. Sometimes people just need a swift kick in the ass. I needed both. When I see someone who is continually down it sort of pisses me off. I know people can't help it a lot of the time, but it seems like you could only go so far before you finally start to do something about it. Oh, well. I guess it took me a long time, too.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Forgive me, Nikia's situation reminded me of a few things too...
Comparable, to an extent.
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serryjw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. Tough questions but here goes
It took me until 50 to understand that death is part of life's cycle. Never take for granted your relationships. Say what you need to say everyday including I Love You. It's not about 'stuff'. We are on this earth to give and share our lives...and hopefully make a small difference.
When I lost my Einstein(he was almost 17) I thought that it was going to be intolerable but it wasn't. Don't get me wrong, Loved and miss him...BUT He had a great life, we shared it for 17 years and I KNEW the night he was going to die. It was a beautiful night. A beautiful passing over the Rainbow Bridge. I cherish his life we spend together and the memories.
It's not about quantity but rather quality. You are correct. We never know when it's going to end And that also is a blessing
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 07:34 PM
Response to Reply #8
20. Thanks for replying to my questions
I am actually in couseling and trying to work through all of this and more. Actually recently I found a geneology page dealing with my paternal grandmother's family written by one of her brother's sons. Even though I had seen most of the pictures and heard the stories when I was younger, I found it rather interesting and comforting in a way in regards to thinking about life and death. Looking at it did make both life and death seem a bit more naturual and realizing that we all have many options in how we live life, but that unfortunate events can happen too.
At this point in my life, I guess that I have to get past my fears and being willing to do things. My therapist says that we can always choose not to play in order not to lose, but we don't win that way either.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 07:48 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. It sounds like you are on the right track
Keep up the good work. Your therapist sounds like a wise person. What she/he said rings true with me. I've lost plenty of times in my life, but I kept trying. I just won in a big way and it would not have been possible if I hadn't tried to make my life better.

When I went into business for myself I told myself I will never know if I don't try. And if I fail at least I can say that I tried and not be sitting around when I get old wondering what if.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:16 PM
Response to Original message
11. Wise people understand life is short
Morbid people dwell on it.

Fools live in denial.


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TallahasseeGrannie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
15. Toad, it is very hard to think about
when you are young. When you get older and you start crossing things off your list, it doesn't seem as awful. Sometimes I think I look forward to a good rest.
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BreweryYardRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
19. Ah, cheer up, Hypno.
Quit being emo and revel in Rove's indictment. ;)
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Prisoner_Number_Six Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 10:00 PM
Response to Original message
25. You just stated the only actual certainty.
Edited on Sat May-13-06 10:00 PM by Prisoner_Number_Six
Accept that one precept and all else becomes easier.
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-13-06 10:06 PM
Response to Original message
26. My advice is for you to start drinking heavily.
;)

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