Senator Fucks Own Wife Out of Political Necessity.

[MissB]

Senator Fucks Own Wife Out Of Political Necessity
May 10, 2006 | Issue 42•19

WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking reelection in 2008, Senator Gordon Smith (R-OR) will limit himself to sexual activity with his wife, Sharon. "I love my wife and would never do anything that would weaken our sacred bond of marriage, or reduce my constituent's faith in me," said Smith, who faces fierce competition in the next election due to recent redistricting. "Sharon's been right at my side, and instrumental in my political career, through all our years of marriage." Seeing no possible negative ramifications, Smith allows himself to jerk off while thinking about Naomi Watts.


http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48226



(Am I allowed to use the word "fuck" in my title?)

[astonamous]

1. Fuck yes!

That's hilarious...

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

2. Smith's always struck me as a creepy guy...

Especially with regards to his son's suicide.

[bridgit]

3. smith has always been an oddity...

x(

[jmowreader]

4. They moved the state line?

Good piece, but senators represent their entire states. They don't have "districts."

The only way they could "redistrict" Senator Smith would be to annex Vancouver, Washington, and Caldwell, Idaho, into Oregon. Not likely in the case of Vancouver, but Boise might be willing to give Caldwell up in exchange for turning the Oregon State football team over to the University of Idaho.