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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:31 PM
Original message
How long do guys wait before they call a chick back?
I don't understand the male mind at all, but after a brilliant first date, when the guy drops you off after making tentative plans for a next date and says he'll call you "in a couple of days"- how long is that? 2? 3? 4? The day before the scheduled day?
I hate waiting, I really do, but I don't want to appear desperate by calling him back before he calls me, which he said he did. These mind games exhaust me.
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MojoKrunch Donating Member (513 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:33 PM
Response to Original message
1. Chicks? 2 maybe 3 weeks minimum.
Full grown fowl I call back that night... I prefer my birds experienced.
Have you ever been experienced?
I have.

You know what I'm talking about.
You know what I'm talking about.

Yea.

Mojo
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:34 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. LOL
Thanks for the laugh, I needed it :D
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cally Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:51 PM
Response to Reply #1
18. Thank you..nt
.
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NightTrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. First of all, I don't call them "chicks."

Second of all, on the rare occasion that a woman will actually give me the time of day, I avoid manipulative head games at all costs.

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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. No one's answered my question...
BTW, as a chick, I call myself that :)
I know guys don't usually do that, unless it's a nickname or something..
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. A couple of days is a couple of days
I dunno, like the day after tomorrow?
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. I have other names
Here's a few:

"How you shakin', Honeydrawers?"
"What's up, Sugarpants?"
"What's going on, my little Frostedflake?"
"Good to hear from you, Babycakes."
"My little Cherry Pie. How are you doin?"

Winners all.


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cally Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:50 PM
Response to Reply #2
17. Thank you
for not calling women chicks
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JohnKleeb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
4. Get back to me after I get one
:(
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A-Schwarzenegger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
5. Funniest movie scene ever on this subject
is Swingers with Jon Favreau (sp?).
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:44 PM
Response to Original message
8. It means
he won't call. But that's just my own experience ... what do I know?
:D
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:45 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. damn
That'd be a major bummer. He acted like he was having a total blast.
Fer chrissake we made out on top of the Prudential building!!!
If he doesn't call, I am going to be so depressed..
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Amaya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:02 PM
Response to Reply #9
22. Hey I could be wrong
he'll call :D Don't be depressed
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MarianJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-07-03 01:54 AM
Response to Reply #9
42. If He Doesn't Call Back...
Edited on Sun Dec-07-03 01:57 AM by MarianJack
...piss on him (figuratively speaking).

In my single days, I'd call on Monday or Tuesday after a really good (Saturday) date. I wouldn't call on Sunday because I didn't want to seem too eager or desperate.

Now that I've been the most happily married man on the face of the Earth for 5+ years, I tell my wife that I love her 5 or 6 times a day. The really neat thing is that she tells me that just as often!:bounce: :loveya:

Don't be depressed. There ARE good guys out there! I met my wife 3 weeks after I started to think that it might not happen for me! My father met my step mother at a party that neither of them wanted to go to! You'll find somebody worthy of you!:yourock:
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skibunny4dean Donating Member (182 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:45 PM
Response to Original message
10. Guys are jerks
They never call
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kodi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:49 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. with your attitude towards men its small wonder they dont call you.
.
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:47 PM
Original message
2 or 3 days sounds about right
How long has it been?
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kodi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
12. but its okay for him to look desparate by calling you back, sure, right.
actually, you are the one playing the mind game because you are not doing what you truly want to do and are instead involved in some weird ritual that is unsatisfying to you.

when humans act like their relationships are akin to courting chickens that scratch in the dirt, things get all fucked up.

you dont want to call him because you feel it will give him the upper hand.

the relationship has hardly commenced and you are at war with him already.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:50 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. Hmm
But how is it me playing the mind game when it was he that said he would call me?
I don't want to call him because I don't want to appear desperate- not because I want him to have the "upper hand" (not sure how that can be applied in this situation).
I am not calling because I trusted his words :)
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kodi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:09 PM
Response to Reply #16
28. < yawn> you like him? call him. its that simple.
.
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Kat45 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:49 PM
Response to Original message
14. How many days has it been and how far away is the next date
that was tentatively scheduled? I can't figure out guys' minds either, but with this info I might be able to give some kind of answer based on my own experience. Let's see, can I remember as far back as college? :-)
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:52 PM
Response to Reply #14
19. 7 days
Wednesday was the date, this upcomming Tues/Weds. had tentative plans made.
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:03 PM
Original message
That's too long
No class. He should've given you a warm chatty little call by now, and confirmed next week.

He might be playing some kind of power game. I hate that shit.

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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:06 PM
Response to Original message
24. It hasn't been 7 days since we last saw each other
It's been 3 days.
Damn, this isn't looking good. I don't need this shit now x(
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A HERETIC I AM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:06 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. If your 1st date was wednesday and he hasnt called you for this friday or
or for tonight (Saturday) Speaking as a guy, this doesnt look good. It might be the case that he had other obligations and/or it slipped his mind but if it was me, and we hit it off, i would be looking forward to the next opportunity to see you. But....he is a man (presumably, not a boy) and men are ...well.....MEN! If you like him and want to see him again, CALL HIM! If the feelings of attraction are mutual he will be happy to hear from you and you will know it within the first 30 seconds on the phone. If not, you will also know. Call him. Find out that which you want to know but is being kept from you.
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Tandalayo_Scheisskopf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
15. Well, then there is...
The attractive newspaper reporter, here, who has accepted several dinner date invites from me, to only have SOMETHING come up. I mean, I am only talking breaking some bread, not registering the china pattern. Having dinner with someone who is attractive and intelligent is one of my favorite things to do, and she is definately both of them.

Still, if I go a week without visiting her at the newspaper office, I get an email asking where I am.

Sorry. I just don't get it at all.

As for phone calls, I hope that the above explains something about what happens to them. After a while, guys kinda get tired of spitting their loose teeth out. Knowhuddamean?

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that YOU do this, but I assure you, far too many of your contemporaries do, and after a while, aversion patterns set in.
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JackSwift Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:55 PM
Response to Reply #15
20. They all get lonely, even if they don't wanna jump
yer bones. So if you are dining weekly (or weakly), have the courtesy to give a call to set it up.
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #15
27. Stop inviting her
She'll probably fall madly in love with you. Better yet, start seeing someone else. She sounds like the type who likes guys she can't have.

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camero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
21. Next day, 2 days tops
Because women make some decisions quicker than us. If it's anymore than 2 days, usually they tend to lose interest. Or think I just don't like them.
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Another Bill C. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
23. The tentative date is confusing.
Normally, "I'll call you in a couple of days" ranks just slightly above "I'll call you sometime" which means "You're a nice kid but I don't think this would go anywhere."

The tentative date thing sounds a little more promising but, in this case, "I'll call you in a couple of days" could mean "I'll call you when I'm sure the wife (or girlfriend) can't overhear; which could take a couple of days.

Men do this. We figure that you'll have completely forgotten about us in a couple of days and this is a much easier letdown than rejection at the end of a date.

The response you want is, "I'll call you tomorrow" which means he is really enthused and will call sometime in the next week.

I hope this works out for you. Ifit doesn't, I apologize on behalf of men everywhere.

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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
26. Are you girls still waiting for guys to call you back?
I thought by now it would be the other way around. Call him up and tell him you would like to see him again, but if it's not reciprocal, you would appreciate him saying so instead of dangling you at the end of a phone line. If he makes a definite date with you, fine. If he tells you to move on,fine. If he's deliberately vague again, hang up on him and move on.
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #26
29. All right, sister!
Just say, "This wasn't meant to be! NEXT!"

Men are like buses--if you miss one, another one will come by in 15 minutes.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
30. It is customary to throw a dart at a dartboard and wait...
the number of days of the section where the dart lands.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
31. HE JUST CALLED!!!!!
He ran into my roommates, who blabbed about how great an impression he made on me :D :D :D :D :D
YAY MEN DON'T SUCK!!!!!! :D :D :D :D
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Yeah, but your roommates do.
You can tell him that yourself without him having to go through the Greek chorus first.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #32
33. I did tell him
...but c'mon, chicks tell each other more intimiately how they felt about guys.
It's not a big deal- just slghtly embaressing...
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
34. Well, he made it in just under the wire
Edited on Sat Dec-06-03 10:36 PM by latebloomer
But he could have thought of it himself.

Do you have a date?
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:35 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. Will call after he gets off of work
He's finishing the last rounds- he's a taxi driver (I know- laugh, laugh away!!!) during this Boston blizzard....
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:38 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. Got a lot of snow up there?
I miss Boston. i went to BU and then just stayed and lived in Cambridge for 10 years, but I left in the 80s.
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WindRavenX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:39 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. Apparently it's not a blizzard to the locals...
....But it is to me :(
I go to BC- sucks to BU! :evilgrin:
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Paragon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:43 PM
Response to Original message
38. "So how long do I wait to call?"
Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Mike: Tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent: Yeah.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue: Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.
Trent: But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you...
Mike: Yeah, but you know what, mabey I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
Charles: Then ask her where you met her.
Mike: Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What does she look like? And then I'll asked if we fucked. Is that... would that be... T, would that be the money?
Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days.

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tjdee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:59 PM
Response to Reply #38
40. LOVE THAT MOVIE---it's so money.
The best scene is when he calls the answering machine and it cuts off right at the end of his number.

Man, that movie is SO money.
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dfong63 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 10:49 PM
Response to Original message
39. a couple of days = 2 to 4 ...
any longer than that - forget him.

no, don't bother calling him. he said he'd call you; but he failed to do so. the fact that he broke his promise to you, right off the bat, suggests that he's no great loss.

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jerryster Donating Member (685 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-06-03 11:12 PM
Response to Original message
41. the callback
If I had a great first date I would call back after 2 or 3 days. The next day call is out unless the first day ended up in bed. 2 days is a little dicey. 3 is best. Also, there are ways to call guys back first without coming off as desperate. A simple thank you for a great evening and I really enjoyed it should be taken by a MATURE man for what it is; a compliment. And I NEVER made plans, tentative or otherwise for a second date right then and there.

There is another thing to consider. My sisters advised me that if I had a date with a woman and decided that I didn't want a second one that I should not call at all. I told them that seemed impolite. I realize that both parties take a little risk on a date and I thought it was common courtesy to call and say thanks for going out. But they insisted that all that does is send mixed signals. They were right.

Anyway, WindRavenX (cool moniker, by the way) I hope you get a second date with this guy if that's what you want. And if he thinks he's too cool to call you back unless a couple of weeks have passed he scores real low on the maturity scale.
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