Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Is living together the same as being married?

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:26 PM
Original message
Poll question: Is living together the same as being married?
Just curious on your opinions.

Would you only live with a person you'd be willing to marry?

Sorry, polls are turned off at Level 3.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:28 PM
Response to Original message
1. I wouldn't live with someone to whom I was not committed.
To me, they're about the same, except for legal status.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:29 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Hey you!
Long time no speak.

:hug: Just because you are a stand up guy.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:31 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. How are ya?
:hug: Thanks for the hug. I don't know about stand-up, but I try...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:40 PM
Response to Reply #5
15. I think you're pretty stand up
I'm OK.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
no name no slogan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
2. No, marriage is bigger
It's telling the entire world that you are with this person in the eyes of everybody-- your friends, your community, your government, etc.

If cohabitation meant as much as marriage, you would not see gays fighting for the right to marry.

I myself have only lived with one other person, and that was my ex-wife for a year before we made it legal. I would only live with somebody again if I planned on getting married eventually.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:31 PM
Response to Original message
4. I think living together is a preliminary step to marriage....
Edited on Thu Mar-30-06 05:41 PM by YellowRubberDuckie
I think it should be required. Don't get married to someone you haven't lived with. That's a road to divorce. What if you can't live with that person?
Skip and I lived with each other on and off for several years. Nothing has changed between us now that we've gotten married. People think it's ridiculous, but I swear, nothing has changed but my name.
Duckie
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
AlanAdam Donating Member (82 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:38 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. Divorce statistics ...
I'm not certain about this, but I read or heard somewhere that the divorce rate for people who had lived together before marrying is higher than the rate for those people who didn't. Can anyone confirm or refute?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:39 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. I've heard that too
But I can't point to a link.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:40 PM
Response to Reply #10
16. I heard that, but I think it's codswallop...
Something done by fundies to keep us from all living together in "sin."
Duckie
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:39 PM
Response to Reply #4
12. Living together should be required?
Not doing so is a definite road to divorce?

My sister and her husband, happily married for 14 years, did not live together beforehand. My parents, happily married for 46 years, did not live together beforehand. My husband and I, happily married for 8 years, did not live together beforehand.

I did live with a significant other - my oldest daughter's father - for some time, had two wedding dates broken, did not marry him, and have been split from him since the late 1980s. Had we been married, we would almost certainly have divorced.

Living together isn't a guarantee that a marriage will work. Not living together is by no means a "definite road to divorce."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
YellowRubberDuckie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:42 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. OK...I changed the definite thing.
But I think it's a good idea.
Duckie
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
CottonBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:33 PM
Response to Original message
6. You don't have to divorce someone when you live together & break up. n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
gardenista Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
7. After living together, and getting married, my own experience is
that it's different. and better.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:35 PM
Response to Original message
8. I've done both, and I would not consider them the same thing.
I don't speak for anyone else's living arrangements/marriages or how they feel about them.

For me, they are not the same.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:38 PM
Response to Original message
9. no, although I think there are similarities
I think making the committment to marriage is quite different for many people as opposed to living together, based on my exp. of having done both. I do think cohabitation teaches you a lot about your eventual spouse, though. It's a pretty good road test.

But having kids with someone, that's the real challenge. I think that is much harder than being married with just the two of you. There is a lot more responsibility. It's fascinating to consider all the stages of a relationship and the changes you go through, too.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
azmouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
11. I lived with my husband before marriage.
And it's hard to explain but things felt different after we got married. Life got better.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LSK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-30-06 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
13. its what you want it to be, dont let society boss you around
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Mon Sep 22nd 2014, 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC