Kids these days!

[Archae]

"You kids these days..." :D

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their
tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were
growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every
morning .. uphill BOTH ways, through year 'round blizzards.
Carrying their younger siblings on their backs ... to their one-room
schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average,
despite their full-time, after-school job at the local textile mill .....
where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their
family from starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was
no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids
about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that...

I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and
notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared
to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but
you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean,
when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ...
with a Pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and
put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music,
you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it
yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio
and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

And talk about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You
had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless
dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your
options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the
phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the
phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections
agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your
chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With
games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics
sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use
your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it
was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game
just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you
died!

... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as
stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy
or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't
see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote
control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out
what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing!
You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the
channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only
get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm
saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled
little bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something
up .. we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire, imagine
that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid JiffyPop
thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's
exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980.

[amitten]

1. Um...we DID have microwaves.

Might need to edit that one...

[Maddy McCall]

2. We didn't have a microwave.

We didn't get one until 1986, and the only reason I remember the date is because I remember who I was dating then. He and I melted a stick of butter, and were awed at how fast it turned to liquid.

I'm sure that some people had them, but not everyone did.

[Oeditpus Rex]

3. A not-so-well-known Monty Python sketch

which was originally performed on "At Last, the 1948 Show" by John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Marty Feldman.

(Setting: Four middle-aged Yorkshiremen enjoying glasses of wine.)



"Very passable, this, eh? Very passable."

"Ay, oh, ay."

"Nothin' like a good glass of Chateau de Chasselet, eh, Josiah?"

"Oh, you're right there, Obadiah."

"Ay."

"Who would have thought 30 years ago we'd all be sittin' 'ere drinkin' Chateau de Chasselet, eh?"

"Ay, ay."

"Them days, we were glad to 'ave the price of a cup of tea."

"Ay! A cup of cold tea!"

"Ay!"

"Without milk, or sugar."

"Or tea!"

"In a cracked cup and all."

"Oh, we never used to 'ave a cup! We used to 'ave to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!"

"The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth."

"But you know, we were 'appy in those days, although we were poor."

"Because we were poor!"

"Ay!"

"My old dad used to say to me, 'Money doesn't bring you 'appiness, son!'"

"'E was right!"

"Ay!"

"I was 'appier then and I had nothin'! We used to live in this tiny old tumble-down 'ouse with great big 'oles in the roof!"

"'Ouse! You were lucky to live in a 'ouse! We used to live in one room, all 26 of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing. We were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of fallin'!"

"You were lucky to 'ave a room! We used to 'ave to live in the corridor!"

"Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would 'ave been a palace to us! We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every mornin' by 'avin' a load of rottin' fish dumped all over us! 'Ouse,
ha!"

"Well, when I say ''ouse,' it was just a 'ole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin. But it was a 'ouse to us!"

"We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground! We 'ad to go and live in a lake!"

"You were lucky to 'ave a lake! There were 150 of us livin' in a shoebox in the middle of the road!"

"A cardboard box?"

"Ay!"

"You were lucky! We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper in a septic tank! We used to 'ave to get up every mornin' at six o'clock and clean the newspaper, go to work down 't the mill, 14 hours a day, week in, week out, for sixpence a week, and when we got 'ome, our dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!"

"Luxury! We used to 'ave to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the mornin', clean the lake, eat a 'andful of 'ot gravel, work 20 hours a day at mill for tuppence a month, come 'ome, and dad would beat us around the 'ead and neck with a broken bottle — if we were lucky!"

"Well, of course, we 'ad it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of the shoebox in the middle of the night and lick the road clean with our tongues! We 'ad to eat 'alf a 'andful of freezin' cold gravel, work 24 hours a day at mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got 'ome, our dad would slice us in two with a bread knife!"

"Right! I 'ad to get up in the mornin' at ten o'clock at night, 'alf an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work 29 hours a day down mill and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got 'ome, our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves, singin' ''allelujiah'!"

"Oh, ay. And you try and tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you!"

"No, no they won't!"

[TBreeze]

4. lol

:rofl: