Wanted: Information about vasectomy from those who have had one

[Dissent Is Patriotic]

My husband will be undergoing a vasectomy on Friday. While the risk of side effects are very low, I am very worried about two particular possible side effects. The first being chronic pain, the second diminished sex drive/ ability to have sex. Can anyone share their personal stories, experiences, any doctor's out there? Help, I am on the verge of asking him to cancel. Thanks in advance.

[hobo_baggins]

1. I can't speak from experience, not having one...but i did research on it

there are two methods, one thats alot less invasive and has alot shorter recovery time, its the one with the lazer, the other one they actually cut you open and snip. I believe that for 2 weeks at the most there might be slight pain, but its nothing bad, and sex drive isn't diminished at all.

[ghostsofgiants]

2. 5% of cases have minor complications (infection)...

Physically speaking, the sex drive won't be affected at all. The vas deferens, which is what is cut and tied in a vasectomy, has nothing to do with the sex drive. Any problems in that area would be completely psychological.

Regrets usually lie in the 5-10% range.

(Based on personal research, not experience. And I am not a doctor.)

Also, before a mod says it: DU is not the place for dispensing or requesting medical advice. This will probably be locked soon.

[swag]

3. No chronic pain, no diminished sex drive, and,

best of all, no kids.

Easily one of the best things I ever did. I'm sure humankind thinks so as well.

[Dissent Is Patriotic]

4. Thanks.

I have been reading a lot of medical journals and although it rarely happens, I would hate for my hubby to ever be in pain, let alone chronic pain.

[swag]

6. After I had the operation, I sat 20 minutes in a recovery lawn chair

in the basement of the Planned Parenthood clinic, which was a few blocks from the White House.

Then I waddled across the street and had lunch and a few beers at a Mexican joint.

It was a pretty good day.

[LaraMN]

5. My husband hasn't had chronic pain or loss of libido,

but he did have an infection, afterwards. His surgery was performed about two years ago. We're quite happy with our decision. It's very liberating to not have to worry about birth control or an unplanned pregnancy, ever!

[Dissent Is Patriotic]

8. Thank you for sharing.

I had been on the pill for almost nine years. The pill made me sick, everyday, for nine years. I then decided to go for the patch. I didn't get sick, but I did gain fifteen pounds, and I also fear all the long term side effects. So hubby said he would get snipped. I am just afraid, if anything happens I will feel like its my fault.

[politicat]

7. I'm the wife of a vasectomied man.

DH had his in 2000, before we were married, but after we were together.

The biggest problem he had was that he does not respond to novacaine, and at the time, had not realized it. Your partner should be adamant about being numb before the procedure starts. Laying off caffeine helps. Have icepacks available. The swelling was minimal and he did not have stitches, just steristrips.

The second biggest problem was unrelated; he had a small cyst that developed about seven months after the vastectomy that caused him pain, but it was unrelated. The cyst dissolved on its own about a year later, and the pain went away. Pain after vasectomy is not common, and when it does happen, is usually unrelated to the operation. (Seminal cysts are apparently common for men in their 30s and 40s.)

The third issue is that I have to retailor some pants, and he does not wear jeans anymore (though he was not a jeans person before, preferring Dockers or dress pants). Things droop about a quarter inch more than they used to (though this may be age related), so we have to make sure his pants don't bind. This means I sometimes need to rehem things to look right. (DH doesn't care what his clothes look like, but I do.)

Now the good things: His sex drive (and mine) have improved. Not worrying about pregnancy is a huge, massive, gigantic psychological relief. Not having to fumble for some rubber thing means that the mood doesn't break. Since I'm not on the pill anymore, I actually HAVE a sex drive and knowing that I won't get pregnant really helps. He also has fewer anxieties about sex in general, and because he has fewer anxieties, he's a better partner.

My husband is a Desert Storm vet, and before the vasectomy, had had some problems with burning semen syndrome. Since then, that problem has gone away completely. That may not apply to you.

I just asked him and he said he would do it again in a minute if he had to, and the only thing he would do differently is insist that he have enough operative pain relief. The post-op drugs were sufficient: vicodin and ketoprophen.

As for asking him to cancel, all I can say is that our experience with fertility is that we are strongly pro-choice and adamantly individualist on this issue. DH and I made our decisions about fertility independently and individually. If you were me, then what I'd want you to tell me is that his body is not your body. If your husband wants to control his fertility, he has the right to do so. (This is the only way he has to exercise his choice.) DH asked my opinion before he had his, but he made it clear that my opinion was not going to be the deciding factor - DH did not and does not want children, and most especially did not want his genes being passed on (his family has some genetic issues). Had I objected, he may have been willing to bank his sperm, but that would have been it. Had I objected strongly, we probably would not have married.

But you need to communicate your fears, and to realize that what you worry about is not at all common or likely. Our experience is apparently far more common than the complications are. (And do remember that a lot of the websites that promote the horror stories are those that are heavily invested in or supported by the vasectomy reversal industry or by the anti-birth control types. Look for motivations before you decide to fall for the claims that vasectomy is evil.)

[Dissent Is Patriotic]

10. My guy is wonderful

he knows the problems that I've had with the pill. I was exploring getting a tubal, but I could not find a doctor to do it. I am 27 and have no children. I have never ever ever wanted children. I am very pro-choice in fact I work for a pro-choice non-profit. NO ONE WILL PERFORM THE SX ON ME. So feeling my frustration hubby said well I'll get snipped. I in no way want to contol his body, or force him to do anything, he will do what he wants. But I do never want him to be in pain, and as our consultation with the doctor literally lasted four minutes, I worry. I did ask the doctor about chronic pain syndromes and such and he said don't worry about it.

[politicat]

12. Disgusting, isn't it? Women have to jump through hoops, but men?

I'm 30, and I've been asking for a tubal from every gyn since I was 22. (I've known since I was 12 that I did not want kids... being the eldest of 8 will do that.) Not a one will do it, though it's looking better now... but I need to finish my knee surgeries first. *sigh*

DH? Got a referral in 1 office visit from his doc, had a 10 minute consultation with the urologist, and had the snip 2 weeks later. I think he had to get more counseling when he got his first tattoo.

Chronic pain is rare, it really is.

[Dissent Is Patriotic]

14. Yes, I have never felt less in control

then when I tried to find a doctor to do my tubal. My long-time GYN advised against it. I really did search, but eventually gave up. If I had a nickel for everytime I heard, but you'll change your mind and then what will you do? or my personal favorite, you're still young you will change your mind. I was reduced to bringing my mom along as evidence that I have at no time in my life wanted children. At least she, who knows me best, takes me seriously.

It is a sad commentary on the way women are still viewed in our society.

[swag]

16. Sorry it has been difficult.

Back in the mid-eighties, I had my vasectomy and the only grief was a counseling session and some temporarily bloody ejaculate. Shortly thereafter, my wife got a nice tubal with even less hassle than I had experienced.

You should, by rights, be able to do what you want in this regard, and it makes me sad and angry that you can't.

Best to you.

[WCGreen]

9. A friend of mine had his reversed when he got remarried...

And he has two boys now.....

[Shine]

11. My hubby had one about 10 yrs ago. No side effects, it's been great.

You'll love this: the urologist he had it done with was named Dr. Dunne. He has since retired, but yes, many of our friends got a "Done Deal" from Dr. Dunne! True story.

On our end, the recoup time was negligible. He did have to go back TWICE, afterwards, and wait a bit longer, to make sure he wasn't shootin' any bullets, so to speak. He was all proud about that. heheheh.

But the bottom line is, it's been a HUGE boon to our sex life, not having to worry about pregnancy anymore, being more spontaneous, etc...

We have two kids, a boy and a girl, so, we're replacing ourselves. Yes he's had a "Done Deal", but we're HARDLY done, if ya know what I mean....and I think that you do!

Good luck to you and your hubby. It's really not that bad.

[Dissent Is Patriotic]

13. Thanks for the chuckle...

sound like your doing alright in the hoo-ha department. So enjoy!!! That's my favorite department!

[UncleSepp]

15. No experience personally, friend of mine had two

Yep, two. My friend had one that did not take, and had to go back for a second one. All in all, it was a pain in the neck (and other regions) but his experience was positive. After it was done, it was done, and he has been pleased with the results and troubled no more.

[taterguy]

17. no big deal

Had mine a few months ago. I was nervous and sleepless the night before which worked out well. My drowsiness and the pre-op drugs had me so relaxed that I almost fell asleep during the procedure. I spent the rest of the day on the couch watching movies and keeping frozen peas on tender spots. I was up and about by the end of the weekend, back at work after a couple days and able to do everything I used to do within a week. My only suggestion is to give your husband complete control of the TV remote during his recovery. Stock up on his favorite movies.

I highly recommend it and can't imagine why other committed couples make any other choice for permanent birth control. Of course your experience may vary. Additional details are available upon request.

[Jokerman]

18. No side effects here. I highly recommend the procedure.

I had one last year. If anything my sex drive is greater not having to stress over the reliability of other forms of birth control.

Just make sure you continue another form of birth control until he has been given the "all clear".

[swag]

19. I think William Butler Yeats said that he experienced a

"second adolescence" following his own snipping.