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Why do girls insist on having totally random conversations? (semi-rant)

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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:39 AM
Original message
Why do girls insist on having totally random conversations? (semi-rant)
Edited on Sat Mar-04-06 01:48 AM by ZombieNixon
Why do women try to have totally random conversations about really abstract things I don't know the answers to, and then all of a sudden make it my fault when there's nothing to talk about? *I* didn't really want to "just talk," hell, I was getting ready to go to sleep. Why do women have to be so darn confusing?! :shrug:

I guess this isn't a rant, more of a confused observation on my pitiful condition. :shrug:
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:40 AM
Response to Original message
1. You're the one whining about being single
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:43 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Yeah, this seems to be part of the problem.
I don't get the ins and outs of random conversation. :shrug:
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:48 AM
Response to Reply #2
8. The best skill you will ever master
is the art of the "smile and nod."

Also, go check out "men are from mars, women are from venus." It explains some of this.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:50 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. I'm good at "smile and nod"
but that doesn't work when I'm being asked questions.

A thought: do women often ask more general questions than men? As in "tell me something about yourself," rather than "what are your hobbies?"

Just wondering.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:52 AM
Response to Reply #10
13. Sometimes I'll ask a guy a question just to see what he makes of it
or just to listen to him talk. You're always welcome to ask questions in return, such as "what would you like to know, sugar?" and then SMILE.
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:55 AM
Response to Reply #10
15. Oh, and one thing you have to know
is girls like to be asked about themselves.

If you feel like you're being questioned too much without an actual conversation, turn it back on them and ask them questions.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:00 AM
Response to Reply #15
18. What if you already know a lot about her
Edited on Sat Mar-04-06 02:03 AM by ZombieNixon
and can't think of anything new to ask that isn't pretty personal? :shrug:
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:05 AM
Response to Reply #18
28. Maybe you have nothing in common with this person?
If it's all small talk and no interesting discussions, it wasn't meant to be.

And yes, it can be a bummer, but it won't be the first 'ship to founder on the shoals of small talk.
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Science Of Myth Donating Member (57 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 05:43 AM
Response to Reply #18
69. You know alot about her and can't think of anything to ask her?
are you trying at all?
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
3. It's because women are trained from birth to compete in social games
Conversation is one of them.

We males just bash the hell out of each other. Like civilized people.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:45 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. Yeah, see, I can handle that.
Weapons? No problem.

"Just talking"? :scared:
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:03 AM
Response to Reply #6
25. If you don't find the question interesting, don't answer it
In fact, say that you don't find the question interesting. This will lead to a more interesting conversation than the lame, thought-placeholder "what kind of tree would you be?" crap. :D
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
4. Can you give an example of what you mean
by "totally random conversations about nothing"?

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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:48 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. OK, not nothing, but really abstract things I don't know the answers to.
Like "if you had a free plane ticket to anywhere, where would it be?"

At one in the morning, I honestly can't think of the answer.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:51 AM
Response to Reply #7
11. Okay, lemme help you out there.
Edited on Sat Mar-04-06 01:51 AM by Heidi
If anyone asks you that question again when you really just want to sleep, a good and honest answer would be, "Somewhere quiet." :)
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:56 AM
Response to Reply #11
17. I didn't *really* want to sleep, just if there was nothing else to do
Edited on Sat Mar-04-06 01:56 AM by ZombieNixon
:shrug:
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Science Of Myth Donating Member (57 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 05:50 AM
Response to Reply #11
70. TIjuana
Edited on Sat Mar-04-06 05:51 AM by Science Of Myth
if she digs that, all the better. If not, oh well lol And I bet you get a reaction out of her either way.

Jesus Christ, you are a lamer ZombieNixon :D Come up with something even remotely exotic or adventurous sounding and you are almost sure to pique her interest. Hawaii. The Emerald Isles. It doesn't have to be somewhere you actually want to go duh. Just something to get her attention, since its all hypothetical anything.

Or give her something personalized with a little more substance like "I'm really craving a good steak right now and I had the best steak ever in downtown KC" Downtown KC sucks though so don't pick that ;)

You can also give a sappy answer like "with a sick/depressed/beloved/whatever relative who lives half way across the country" or some shit, but then sometimes that works and sometimes a girl will call you on bullshit like that. If you can't fake sincerity don't try that lol...actually if you can't fake sincerity you might just wanna join a monastery now haha
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:58 AM
Response to Reply #7
52. maybe it's not a girl/woman thing
maybe you just happen to be with a person who asks stupid questions
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
5. Women aren't talking about totally random stuff
It's all connected, you just have to learn to appreciate it.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:54 AM
Response to Reply #5
14. How?
It takes me long hours of quiet to see the interconnectedness of things, and then they're deep philosphical things like evil and entropic heat death, which don't last long in everyday conversation. :shrug:
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FuzzySlippers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:01 AM
Response to Reply #14
19. Jeez, boy. You're talking to women about evil
and entropic heat death? No wonder you're having trouble.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:02 AM
Response to Reply #19
22. No, I'm not.
Because I know that won't go over well...but I can't think of anything that would...so I stay silent...which doesn't work either.
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FuzzySlippers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:04 AM
Response to Reply #22
27. You should think up answers to these types
questions in advance. Like what will you say the next time someone asks you about the plane ticket thing?
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:07 AM
Response to Reply #27
29. Don't know...doubt I ever will.
I'm just not the kind of person who can honestly think in those terms.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:01 AM
Response to Reply #14
21. Have you ever started talking about one thing
and ended up talking about something totally different? That's the way it is. It's not a question of sex so much as it is a question of sociability. Now get out there and socialize.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:04 AM
Response to Reply #21
26. I can do that with guys...happens all the time.
Never with girls...I can never hold a conversation with a woman long enough to get to that point.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:11 AM
Response to Reply #26
33. You sexist bastard!
All you men just a one track mind.

Actually a lot women dig a guy who can engage them in intelligent conversation. Those are the kind of women I like.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:12 AM
Response to Reply #33
34. Why are all the intelligent women taken or "just friends?!"
Flame away, I know...just a bit bitter right now.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:18 AM
Response to Reply #34
38. Aw, man
There's one out there for you. When you find her you will know it for sure. For some of us it just takes a little time. I used to envy those who found their soul mate when they were 18. Now I know that doesn't happen for most folks. You'll get there. Don't worry about it. In the mean time just have fun.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:49 AM
Response to Original message
9. So what you're saying is
women talk like the Lounge.



:popcorn:
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:51 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. No.
I can do very well in the Lounge.

Around women, I would do best to shut up and stay out of conversation.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 01:55 AM
Response to Reply #12
16. Ahem...
OK, not nothing, but really abstract things I don't know the answers to.

Like "if you had a free plane ticket to anywhere, where would it be?"


If that ain't the Lounge, I dunno what is. :rofl:
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:01 AM
Response to Reply #16
20. And my answer would always be
"I don't freakin' know!!" which apparently unacceptable. :shrug:
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:02 AM
Response to Reply #16
23. .
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:29 AM
Response to Reply #16
68. I have to agree with OR on this one
As soon as I saw your example I thought "The DU Lounge!" :rofl:
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:02 AM
Response to Original message
24. It'll come to you one day....
...and then, you'll realize, it really isn't that difficult.
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:07 AM
Response to Reply #24
30. +
... and ... he'll learn to eat ... :popcorn:






















:hide:

:evilgrin:
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:09 AM
Response to Reply #30
31. Oh, yes! That'll certainly help to calm things down....
...after the rush, of course... ;-)
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:13 AM
Response to Reply #31
35. Sleep like a baby.
:evilgrin: works every time
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:11 AM
Response to Reply #30
32. What are you suggesting?
:o
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:17 AM
Response to Reply #32
37. Have you ever tried to carry on a meaningless conversation ...
while you're kissing






Next time tell her how beautiful her eyes are and kiss her you fool!
BTW 1st make sure you know what color they are! Word_to_the_wise.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:19 AM
Response to Reply #37
39. What if you're not *interested* in her...
*that* way, and you're just trying to be nice. :shrug:
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:25 AM
Response to Reply #39
40. 0h
never mind






That is a whole different set of rules. On the other hand why were you falling asleep while you were talking to her?
What's the matter with you! I hope this happened while you were talking on the phone.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:28 AM
Response to Reply #40
41. Oh, I wasn't falling asleep.
I was quite awake, just considering going to bed when she came in.

No, it wasn't on the phone. In fact, she was lying on my bed, which was kind of weird.
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:30 AM
Response to Reply #41
42. Ah. Was this in a dorm?
Cause that changes everything.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:35 AM
Response to Reply #42
43. *sigh* Yes.
Do I really want to know *how* this changed everything?
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:39 AM
Response to Reply #43
44. It becomes more of a brother/sister relationship.
She feels safe enough to sprawl across your bed and chat.

This time the "my bad" was on her for being inconsiderate of your needs.

Politely kick her out next time and get some sleep.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:43 AM
Response to Reply #44
45. This was almost two hours ago.
Edited on Sat Mar-04-06 02:44 AM by ZombieNixon
I didn't need to go to sleep then and I don't need to go to sleep now.

It's just that before this school year, no woman has ever tried to make small talk with me, of all people. I don't do random chat. I just don't. It's like my brain doesn't have areas for that or something. :shrug:
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:48 AM
Response to Reply #45
47. Say ~ Goodnight Joani.
Cause I'm not doing you a whole lot of good at this moment. Sorry
Maybe I'm the one who needs to go to sleep. It's a quarter to 4 in NY. Past my bedtime. See ya tomorrow.
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:50 AM
Response to Reply #47
48. Good night, Joani.
:hug:

No, really, I think you've been a lot of help. These things come up from time to time, and I head to the Lounge to talk about them. There's always someone good to talk it through with me. This time it was you. Thanks.

:hug: :loveya:
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:59 AM
Response to Reply #48
53. Any time Sweetie.
I sorta feel like you've been talking to someone old enough to be your mother so I'm really glad if anything I've said helped. Feel free to PM me if you wish or drag me out in the open for a conversation with the whole lounge. I don't mind.

:loveya:
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Science Of Myth Donating Member (57 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 05:57 AM
Response to Reply #45
71. Try this
Get Garden State on DVD and ask her (or some other girl, whatever) to watch it with you. Then spend 90 mins or however long thinking about Natalie Portman. The time'll fly by and you'll score big points that way

Plus there's always the chance of a romantic interlude too :)
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:44 AM
Response to Reply #44
46. Let me jump in to say, you are very sweet Joan.....
...'cause my generation - the 70's - would have just taken advantage of the situation, regardless of what bed she was laying on....

:hide:
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:54 AM
Response to Reply #46
49. Times have changed. Then it might have been an open invitation.
Girls/women just_did_not_sit_on_a_man's_bed. It wasn't done unless you were cruising.

I still can't get over some of the changes cause I didn't date from about 1974 until 3 years ago.
Can we all join together and say Culture Shock
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:59 AM
Response to Reply #49
54. From 1974 'til 3 years ago!!!!.....
... :wow:

Girl, you deserve a :hug: That is MAJOR culture shock!
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In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 10:53 AM
Response to Reply #54
79. Sigh!
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:04 AM
Response to Reply #46
57. I wouldn't.
And I was born in 1987. :shrug:
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:09 AM
Response to Reply #57
60. Yes, those were different times back then....
...it was more carefree and hedonistic for sure.
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SongOfTheRayne Donating Member (248 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:17 AM
Response to Original message
36. I don't know!
usually people talk about random things around me so that they don't have to listen to what i'm saying about Uzbekistan.....seriously, if they hear me say that word one more time they're all going on a killing spree. *sigh* BUT IT'S IMPORTANT!
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:56 AM
Response to Original message
50. I was kind of thinking about childrens toys earlier...
Barbies are SUCH a faux pas, non?
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 02:57 AM
Response to Reply #50
51. *begins to hyperventilate*
:scared:

No, actually, I can rant about things like Barbies for hours. I had a real good one about CareBears this afternoon...it's this "talk at me" shit that I can't do.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:02 AM
Response to Reply #51
55. But I really need to know your FEELINGS on this ISSUE.
Talk to me, honey, what are you thinking?
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:03 AM
Response to Reply #55
56. Emotions are dumb and need to be destroyed?
:shrug:
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:05 AM
Response to Reply #56
58. .
:headbang:
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:07 AM
Response to Reply #56
59. I'm not sure we're COMMUNICTIING
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:10 AM
Response to Original message
61. Quit hanging around them - you'll get cooties
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:13 AM
Response to Reply #61
62. I think I was born with man-cooties.
:shrug:
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obxhead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:14 AM
Response to Original message
63. shakes head.....
Random conversations are to be interupted.....
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:14 AM
Response to Original message
64. If you could have dinner with any five people in the world,
living or dead, who would you choose? What would you wear? :shrug:
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:16 AM
Response to Reply #64
65. George Bush, Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft, Jerry Fallwell, Pat Robertson
I'd go naked.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:17 AM
Response to Reply #65
66. See?
That wasn't so difficult. In fact, I think you have a flair for this sort of repartee. :thumbsup:
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 03:18 AM
Response to Reply #66
67. LOL. My Lounge persona doesn't play well IRL.
Would that everyone was a Lounge Lizard. :shrug:
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Science Of Myth Donating Member (57 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 06:02 AM
Response to Reply #64
72. 5 moderately hot chicks
I would pick five hot chicks/porn stars but lets face it I need them to be pretty easy lol

7 body/10 personality maybe
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 07:31 AM
Response to Original message
73. Ha! Suck it up, Zombie
You must learn to do this, Zombie. This, and buy tampons for her without freaking out.
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crispini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 07:51 AM
Response to Original message
74. ok, wait, she's sprawled on your bed in your dorm room
asking you "getting to know you" type questions like "if you could get a plane ticket to anywhere, where would you go?"

I think SHE'S interested in YOU, dude!

And the point of questions like that is just to keep the conversational ball in the air. You just pick a place and talk about it. It's meant to be FUN and entertaining in a getting to know you kind of way. If you really can't think of an answer, say "I dunno... how about YOU?" thereby tossing the conversational ball back in her court (which she will like.)

But seriously, I think she likes you.
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Wetzelbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 08:58 AM
Response to Reply #74
76. exactly
She's trying to fill the air. Nobody likes those silences when you're first trying to get to know somebody. She's looking for a topic that'll get a solid convo going. I'd say she must be at least a little interested, if not a whole lot. It took me many years to realize that women just don't hang out with anybody all the time like that. They usually have some type of interest. In the end, a guy can look back and think about that "friend" who always wanted to hang out and talk all the time: "Duh, she liked you, you dumb lunkhead!" :)
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #74
78. Ding, ding, ding!!!! Hold your calls - we have a winner!
LOL!
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Wetzelbill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 08:53 AM
Response to Original message
75. hey better her saying random stuff than me
Unless she can come up with a quick answer about who's a better wrestler, Kurt Angle or Chris Benoit, then it's best that I do the bulk of the listening. Or if she wants to hear the intricacies of Neo-Conservatism, Foreign Policy or American Indian policy. Typically, I just try to go with the flow of what a woman is saying. I have always read a lot so I can usually figure out something to add to whatever they are interested in. It's tough to just talk for the sake of talking. Uncomfortable silences get me in trouble, because I feel the need to drive the conversation the. And, "Man, did you see Batista slam JBL last week?" just doesn't cut it, haha.

You'll never understand women, but you can appreciate them. Likely she is so random because like most of us, she feels the need to drive a conversation through those silent moments. We all have a bit of anxiety about that. Do your best to listen and appreciate that she likes you enough, whether as a friend or more, to want to talk to you. She likes your company so you must be doing ok. Just keep working at it.
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miss_american_pie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-04-06 10:00 AM
Response to Original message
77. LOL
When women want to have random conversations we talk to our girlfriends.

If she's getting mad when there's nothing to talk about, odds are she's really mad that you aren't showing interest.

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