I watch Lesbian Porn.....

[WCGreen]

To get tips.....

[KitchenWitch]

1. uh huh...

:evilgrin:

[WCGreen]

4. Honest....

I copied my technique....

From a gal named Dominique....

Who made her partner jump for joy....

And it wasn't from a little toy.....

[KitchenWitch]

9. You are truly....

a cunning linguist!

:evilgrin:

[WCGreen]

11. After watching twenty hours or so.....

[SofaKingLiberal]

2. Who doesn't?

:shrug:

[Floogeldy]

3. You're smart.

But not so practical. ;)

[swag]

5. Old waitresses never die,

they just lose their tips.

[WCGreen]

7. And that can be...

Very painful.....

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. You need tips like another hole in your head.....

Methinks....

:rofl:

[WCGreen]

8. Soon....

Tuesday may come....

And my jaw will be numb....

[MnFats]

24. is that a woody allen reference?

i forget what film...
his then girlfriend (they're in bed) says: "I'm sorry I took so long."
....................................and woody says. "that's all right. the feeling is starting to come back in my jaw.."

ok, it was funny when he said it...

[MrScorpio]

10. Really?

Any you want to give us here?

[WCGreen]

12. Dude I'm on the edge already.....

But from what I understand....

It has something to do with the alphabet....

[ghostsofgiants]

45. I forget where I heard this, but...

"Don't just spell the alphabet, write a fucking thesis." (Or something along those lines.)

[khashka]

18. Hey. I'll share with you Mr S.

Any edition of On Our Backs (although the one where the two women did the nasty in a cathedral is still a personal fave.)

Best American Erotica comes out every year and Susie Bright makes sure there's a juicy lesbian story included. (Actually the story she reprinted on her website - which veers between lesbian porn, gay porn, straight porn, and Vietnam vet porn - left me me reeling and wanting more. )


Happy hunting :)


Khash.

[khashka]

13. So do I and I'm a gay man

Wouln't a thunk it would get me all hot and bothered, eh? It does.

But only lesbian porn made for lesbians. Straight boy lesbian porn is beyond silly - treat a girl like that and you'll be lucky if you get home with all your teeth. Some girls have a mean right hook!

Khash.

[WCGreen]

14. I know of which you speak....

[khashka]

25. Word to the wise

before I get this thread locked down.

Cut your fingernails!


I watch straight "lesbian' porn and have to laugh. The've all got nine inch nails! No lesbian worth her salt would let them anywhere near her without a manicure.

Good advice for straight boys too - cut your nails!

Khash.

[SeattleGirl]

27. You got that right, khash!

Nine Inch Nails is a great name for a band, but not so great at the end of someone's fingers!

[khashka]

31. They might look good

but in intimate moments in intimate places... they are not exactly user-friendly!


Used to be an old joke..... "How can you tell if a woman is a lesbian? Look at her fingernails."


Khash.

[SeattleGirl]

33. I hadn't heard that one!

:rofl:

[NMMNG]

15. I read lesbian erotica

For personal enjoyment.

I also watch lesbian themed movies and shows that may or may not have erotic themes. For example, I watched But I'm a Cheerleader which happened to be on one of the movie channels earlier tonight. (Fabulous movie btw, it is a comedy spoofing the "ex-gay" reprogramming camps for teens).

I don't watch what is typically passed off as "lesbian porn", as it does nothing for me.

[WCGreen]

16. That could have been such a better movie.....

I watched last Saturday....

It could have been better....

[NMMNG]

21. I like it myself

It's campy to be sure, but that's part of what makes it so funny.

[khashka]

23. It's odd but true

I love lesbian porn. Many women only get off on gay male porn. Many gay men couldn't be bothered by gay porn but are captivated by straight porn. Weird, huh?

Typical lesbian porn is straight boys getting their jollies. Not only is not accurate, it's boring. If you want to know what women do in bed, ask a woman. Not some guy who'll tell you what his misinformed fantasies are.

BTW, I liked Cheerlader too. Tacky movie, but great fun. And it was nice to see the gay kids finally win for once.

Khash,

[NMMNG]

32. You hit that nail on the head

Typical lesbian porn is straight boys getting their jollies. Not only is not accurate, it's boring. If you want to know what women do in bed, ask a woman. Not some guy who'll tell you what his misinformed fantasies are.

One DUer said that when they saw women doing each other in typical "lesbian porn" made for men she couldn't tell if they were having sex or trying to get a stain out of a carpet they were rubbing so hard. I about sprayed my keyboard with whatever I was drinking when I read that :spray:. One of the biggest gripes I have about those things is that no real lesbians would be going at it with those long-a$$ed fingernails the women in those pornos have. Ouch! x( :scared:

[khashka]

57. Yeah, I've tried to be discreet

and not explicitly described why women hate long fingernails. Or what women do in bed.


I'm gay. I do have sex with women but only lesbians. And I have learned a lot. Susie Bright once said "Men have penises, women have hands." It took me a moment to realize what she was really saying. "Yeah, dude, you have hands too. Use them."



Khash.

[MnFats]

26. check out "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." fabulous..

...a great movie to begin with, starring the lovely Lena Olin and the beautiful Juliette Binoch....there is a great scene with the two of them in the middle of things...not explicit or anything, just playful and powerfully erotic...I heard they more or less ad libbed it but I'm not sure about that..

[NMMNG]

34. I'll have to rent that someday

It sounds intriguing. ;-)

[MnFats]

43. Do. It takes place in Czechoslovakia during 'Prague Spring."...

...and everyone has to choose up -- resist or go along tacitly with the Soviet oppressors....kind of timely, huh?

[NMMNG]

53. Indeed

And sex is a very enjoyable way to say "eff you" to the oppressors. :evilgrin:

[MnFats]

63. Yep.

you gotta see this film.
Lena Olin and Juliet Binoch are at opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of looks/body type etc. but both are incredibly beautiful....
interestingly, it's the women who grow backbones ...while the male lead, i forget who plays him but he's very good as a Czech physician, very handsome and every women he meets wants to fuck him...he just wants to play it safe...

you know, i gotta rent that again...

Let me know what you think if you do see it.

[Ouabache]

68. Daniel Day-Lewis plays the doctor

in that movie, if I recall correctly.

[MnFats]

69. You are correct!! I think. and he's damn good too! n/t thnx

[NMMNG]

71. I will

:thumbsup:

[RevCheesehead]

17. So, Professor,

do you offer private tutoring, too? :evilgrin:

[khashka]

19. He might not

But I do :)


Khash.

[RevCheesehead]

20. .....

:woohoo:

Nice to see you, harem boy. :loveya:

[khashka]

39. Hey, baby!

Long time no see!

Been missing you. Had a couple people in total meltdown and was thinking "I can do this alone... but where is the Rev when I need her?"
I'm pretty good alone, but with you..... we make an unbeatable combination.

(Why do you think I'm first and foremost in your harem,eh? It 's because you always bring out the best in me.)


Khash.

[RevCheesehead]

41. I haven't been around much.

I've got shingles, and I'm hurting like hell. Even the prescription stuff isn't taking away all the pain.

I've missed you, darlin'. And you're right - together, we're invincible! :hug:

[khashka]

48. Oh I'm so sorry

Shingles can be incredibly painful...


:hug:


Khash.

[SeattleGirl]

22. I do too

It's more realistic than a lot of stuff written/filmed by men.

Edited to add: If men want to know how to treat a woman, you have to ask/watch women, not men.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

28. I'll watch more of it.

:popcorn: :popcorn:

[MnFats]

29. watching is half the fun. Well, maybe not quite half ... but ..

...a lot of fun nonetheless...

[Robeson]

30. What is "Porn"?....

....what word is this you use, and what does it mean?...:shrug:

[In_The_Wind]

36. ~

:shrug: it rhymes with corn ...
maybe it's something you eat :popcorn:

[SeattleGirl]

37. Oh yeah, "porncorn!"

:popcorn:

[In_The_Wind]

40. 0ooo ::porncorn::

I wanna watch threesomes. :evilgrin:

[SeattleGirl]

47. Joani!

:evilgrin:

[In_The_Wind]

50. Yessssss

[SeattleGirl]

51. All right!

[In_The_Wind]

56. I. Am. Not. Puttin'. That. On. My. Body!

Mistress of Pain ~ Indeed!

[SeattleGirl]

59. Okay, then I'll wear it.

:rofl:

[In_The_Wind]

61. gawd! gf!

I sure hope you are kidding this time.

[SeattleGirl]

62. Of course I am, you silly!

:hug:

[In_The_Wind]

64. HHJJ

carry on ...

[Robeson]

67. Oh, Goody!....

...you WILL post a piture, want you? My interest is peaked! :9

[SeattleGirl]

70. Well, maybe I will PM you a picture

But first I have to get the outfit! I love it when I "peak" a man's interest! :evilgrin:

[Robeson]

72. Yes! Yes, indeed! See how discombobulated you had me?....

...I couldn't even spell "piture" right, in that last post....:rofl:

[SeattleGirl]

73. Oh my!

:evilgrin:

[Robeson]

42. Oh yes! Now I understand. It's like corn. Well, yes, I do like to...

...eat...corn....:popcorn:

[In_The_Wind]

46. Precisely my point!

Oh. Yeah!

[Robeson]

52. There's something about that last smiley that seems so....

...familiar. I'm trying to put my finger on it, but I know it'll come to me soon...:P

[In_The_Wind]

55. It's really ...

the man in the middle ya gotta pay special attention to ...

[SeattleGirl]

49. I'm so glad you "get it" now, Robeson!

Makes it easier to, um, get....... :evilgrin:

[Robeson]

54. ...thanks, it's always fun when one......

..."gets it"....:D

[SeattleGirl]

60. Oh, isn't it though????

:evilgrin:

[Wetzelbill]

35. well you kn....

I'm just going to shut up. :)

[khashka]

44. And so you should shut up

Anything you say will only embarrase you. Hey, the old "Wetzillbill wants to date Khash but OMG! Khash is a guy!" ain't ever gonna die.


Still.... come closer and tell me about your lesbian fantasies.....


Khash.

[Wetzelbill]

58. that is the joke that keeps on giving

I even think it's freakin' hilarious by now. :)

Well, there was that one about Diane Lane and Marisa Tomei..... :)

[Deja Q]

38. Well, on average I'd count about 4...

:hide:

[WCGreen]

65. So what did I miss....

[CaliforniaPeggy]

66. My PM is what.........

[khashka]

74. I can't believe this hasn't been locked.

What is wrong with the mods? Ya woulda thunk "Lesbian Porn" in the thread title would have been a clue where this was going....


It comes down to me doesn't it? Khashka, the man with the iron fist and no power whatsoever.

This thread is LOCKED.

Chris I want to see you in my office in five minutes. You have some 'splaining to do. Buffy! Mr Scorpio! Quit giggling or you'll be in trouble, too! Peggy,I hope you are ashamed of yourself! We expect you to set a higher standard and not engage in lesbian porn threads!

In fact all of you are little monsters and you're all on detention until I say otherwise!


Khash.

[In_The_Wind]

77. nananana

[LostinVA]

75. Trust me, alot of what you see in lesbian porn isn't true to life

But I doubt you're really worried about the authenticity of what you're watching, are you?

[Blue_Tires]

76. IBTL!!! n/t