DU Men: Is It Possible to Describe the Pain of Being Kicked in the Balls?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

:shrug:

Okay, before you ask me why the hell I want to know--I backed my chair into a friend today, and it hit him right where it counts. This guy, normally one of those toughy-toughies, whimpered for a good five minutes afterwards.

I know it HURTS--but is there anything to which you can compare the pain, that we females might understand better? Truly, it didn't LOOK like I hurt the guy at all--I guess I just can't understand too well. :D

:evilgrin:

WIMR

[ZombieNixon]

1. No. It is not possible.

It's like x(, but multiplied by the intensity of a million suns that weaves itself through space and back though the eternal fabric of time. x(

And they say childbirth hurts more...enjoy! :evilgrin:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

4. Oh, you're so funny.

NOT.

:P

But wow, that's some pain. I'll take the childbirth....At least that can be avoided, if you're careful. Must be hard to avoid a good kick sometimes... :evilgrin:

[Fenris]

2. It's the equivalent...

Of taking a broomstick and ramming it into the top of your vagina, or so medical texts have told me.

In other words, ouch.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

5. Yeah. Ouch.

:scared:

:D

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. No.

One can experience it, but not describe it.

Just imagine if your ovaries were external, and someone kicked them. And then they bounced against each other like some twisted Newton's cradle.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

7. That's a disturbing image.

:scared:

I'm glad that my only "outside parts" are separated by roughly the span of a chest. :evilgrin:

[Oeditpus Rex]

6. And the pain is compounded by fear

Abject, innate fear that you've lost your "manhood."

I know it sounds sort of silly, but that's exactly what it is.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

10. It does sound silly, but I think I can understand THAT,

in a very offhand way.

What is it, a kind of instinct or something?

:shrug:

:hi:

[ZombieNixon]

12. It's the realization that your entire idenity as a man is contained in a

sack between your legs and the attached hosepipe.

Without it you're a eunuch. x(

[WritingIsMyReligion]

14. LOL!

I think I'd go mad with all that stuff, if I were male....But then again, if I were male, I'd probably go mad WITHOUT it, just as you say.

:P :P

[ZombieNixon]

16. Hey, nature kept that under control by only giving us enough blood

to run one brain at a time! :P

[WritingIsMyReligion]

20. Well, duh.

And it's usually not the brain in your head that's running, either.....

:P

[ZombieNixon]

29. Touché.

I'll be in the bathroom. No calls.

:hide:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

34. Pffft....

:spray:

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. Yup

Second in men only to the instinct to cover your face — that is, your eyes.

If you ever have occasion to see a guy with some object coming toward his crotch, watch: He'll automatically bend at the waist and squeeze his legs together to afford less of a target.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

28. Hunh.

That's interesting......

:D

[Ladyhawk]

81. Now, how can I use this knowledge to my advantage?

Hmmmm...

:evilgrin:

Maybe feint to the crotch with the knee, then up into the face as the guy bends to protect Mr. Happy.

[JCMach1]

8. When I was coaching soccer at the high school level in the states

one really unlucky player go hit HARD in the cojones TWICE during the same practice!

The second time, he didn't get up.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

11. Ooooh.....

*winces*

:D

[sendero]

9. The pain is different...

... from any other pain I've ever felt. It's like a "pressure", like your jewels are in a vise, long after the blow.

It really does hurt, although I've never had it hurt BAD for 5 minutes....

[WritingIsMyReligion]

13. Well, then, this guy I know is a wimp.

:evilgrin:

That's very odd, though--a pressure...

*thinks for a moment*

[ZombieNixon]

15. Don't you even think that for a second!

:spank:

Every time you think about that, God kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens! x(

[WritingIsMyReligion]

17. ...

:spray:

Who said I was thinking about that?

:rofl:

[ZombieNixon]

21. I *know* you were thinking about, as you say, "that."

:spank:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

24. WAS NOT!

:P

[ZombieNixon]

31. Wås tøø!

Døn't årgue with yøur måster. :P

[WritingIsMyReligion]

33. I thought you were on Welsh now?

Hmm? HMMM?

:P

[ZombieNixon]

40. Yw styll want the sycryt wff the Nwrwygyan rhytyng?

Then døn't åsk unnecessåry questiøns. :P

[WritingIsMyReligion]

43. Eeeeevil, you are....

Pure eeeeevil...

:P

[ZombieNixon]

47. Umm...that's "pwr yyyyyyfyll."

Do try and keep up with the times, young one. :P

[WritingIsMyReligion]

49. Yyyyyyyyyfyl, I say.....

Yyyyyyfyl!

Like so?

:P

[ZombieNixon]

50. Lyc sw.

Ys. :P

[WritingIsMyReligion]

51. 'Tys cyyyl!

:P

[ZombieNixon]

53. Dw yw myn "cwll?"

:shrug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

55. Ys.

:blush:

[ZombieNixon]

56. Yt's âll ryt. Yfyn the byst wff ws mâc mystâcs.

OK, this is starting to make my head hurt. The master's going for a drink, continue your studies. :P

[WritingIsMyReligion]

57. It always gave me a headache.

:P

[ZombieNixon]

58. I'll bring you a beer. Don't tell anyone it was me.

Least of all anyone in the Lounge; I'd never live it down. :P

[WritingIsMyReligion]

60. Beer is nasty.....

I snitched a sip when I was about seven, and thought I'd swallowed poison.

:P

[ZombieNixon]

61. *sigh* Fine, I'll bring you some absynth.

You'll be so blasted you won't care what it tasted like. :hide:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

63. LOL

:rofl:

[sendero]

19. No...

... God kills a kitten when you whack the banana, not the kiwis :)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

22. LOL

:rofl:

[NNadir]

18. Yeah. It's like having a retarded Repuke occupying the White House.

Well not quite that painful.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

27. Hehe.

:D

:hi:

[no name no slogan]

25. I saw colors that I didn't even knew existed

I got kneed there once on accident. Incredibly, psychedelically painful.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

30. Like a twisted drug trip?

:P

[no name no slogan]

38. Yeah, if you got kicked in the balls before you dropped

:D

[WritingIsMyReligion]

39. LOL

:D

[Xithras]

26. Similar to childbirth.

Shorter duration, but the same groups of nerves are involved. The difference is that childbirth starts as an ache and slowly builds to major pain over several hours time, before fading again. A kick in the nads is an instant trip to the worst part of childbirth, but it typically fades in minutes (though a really hard hit can cause swelling and a dull pain that'll last a few days).

[WritingIsMyReligion]

32. Well, THAT was the best description I've heard yet.

Thank you. :hi:

The rest of these goons can only whine and moan about past times they've been kicked, or kneed, or anything....

:P

[LynzM]

35. Ooh, just like pitocin

*insert rant here about the evils of pitocin drip + breaking waters*

I can't imagine if that kind of pain were possible any old time, no warning. Yikes.

[Arugula Latte]

74. Oh gawd... Don't remind me.

x(

Glad both my babies have been squeezed out! Memories of pitocin will faaaaade awaaaay ...

[Arugula Latte]

75. As Elaine on Seinfeld said:

I don't know how you guys walk around with those things!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

92. Neither do I.

:shrug:

[LynzM]

78. I know. Evil stuff, that.

Sometimes necessary, I suppose, but still, evil. x(
:hug:

[reyd reid reed]

80. Pitocin is the stuff from hell

Going from no labor to transition in about five minutes. They hooked me up for one of my kids. After about three hours, they decided it wasn't working so they unhooked me and sent me on my way.

It took forty-eight hours for the contractions to stop. My son was born about six hours after that.

They started to talk about the drip again the next time I was a week late. I told them to leave well enough alone...no WAY. I'd rather stay pregnant for another months, thank you.

[tuvor]

36. I can't compare it to any other experience we might share.

Aside from the dull but intense pain in the testicles themselves, the guts in your lower abdomen feel like they're being squeezed, you forget to breathe, and it only diminishes with time.

It ain't no fucking pie-in-the-face punchline like the entertainment industry would have you believe.

Okay, I'm starting to feel phantom pains or some such right now, so I think I'll stop. :)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

41. Yikes.

:scared:

Thank you, though.

:hi:

[northzax]

37. well, think of the best orgasm you have ever had

where your entire self is wrapped up in waves of sensation, and you can think of nothing else, you know la petit mort type thing. earthshaking, mindnumbingly good.

now imagine that all that good, is bad.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

42. *whimpers*

:scared:

[DS1]

44. sometimes the lightest tap can be the most painful

sometimes a much harder knock doesn't hurt at all

those lightest taps are incredible though, you see flashes, you can't breathe, one time I got kicked by a cheap shot I couldn't walk right for a week

[WritingIsMyReligion]

46. Wow.

That's weird, and sounds damn painful.

:D

[Minnesota Libra]

45. OMG guys - I'' take the.......

.....childbirth any time. What you guys experience sounds so much worse. I got hit in the boobs one time by accident and OMG that hurt the rest of the day but at least it was a strong sore type ache. Instant horrific pain. :hide: :cry:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

48. Yeah, I'm not so keen on the "instant pain" myself....

:D

Welcome to DU, by the way! I don't think I ever properly said hello..... :hi:

[Minnesota Libra]

83. Thank You for the welcome - I feel.....

....so totally at home here. I LOVE IT HERE O8)

[northzax]

52. plus, after childbirth, you get a child

so there's something to be said for it.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

54. True, true...

:D

[Oeditpus Rex]

59. Kid, you might want to watch this

Dumbest. Fucking. Guys. ON the planet.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4814303

[WritingIsMyReligion]

62. OMG

I don't know whether to shriek or laugh.

But WOW. Just. Fucking. WOW.

[Beware the Beast Man]

64. A sharp pain to the nether region, that creeps into the upper abdomen.

Yeow. Very painful.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

65. So it spreads...

Wow.

:scared:

[SmileyBoy]

66. For me at least, I felt like I needed to poo really bad.

And another previous poster was right, it's like a pressure. If it happens hard enough, it triggers the bowel reflex.

Serious.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

86. Wow.

This is all very...informative.

:P

[JohnnyCougar]

67. Ummmm

Think about someone peeling your fingernails off with a pliers. But instead of a sharp pain, it's a dull pain that is just as intense. So intense it makes you dizzy, and like others have said, makes you see colors. And the pain just sits there and throbs forever.

[Redstone]

71. I've actually had a fingernail removed without anesthetic. It's worse.

Much worse.

Redstone

[WritingIsMyReligion]

87. How fun.

Not.

:scared:

[Redstone]

68. Not really. Childbirth, maybe? But sharper and more concentrated.

And, thank god, much shorter in duration than childbirth. And at least nobody's "coaching" you to breathe those idiotic-sounding breaths like the chilbirth-coaching classes try to make women do.

Redstone

[SmileyBoy]

70. How do you know what childbirth is like??

Do you have both??

j/k:D

[WritingIsMyReligion]

88. Yeah, but at least childbirth you've some vague idea is coming....

A kick in the balls can be any old time!

:P

[BreweryYardRat]

69. It's a ton of sensitive nerve endings. How the hell do you think it feels?

Allow me to reiterate what DS1 said...sometimes light pressure can be the worst. I can think of several occasions where that's happened to me.

And if you really want a comparison rather than a description-your clitoris is probably the only thing on you even close to being as sensitive as a guy's balls. Imagine being kicked right there, with all those nerve endings, by someone with a pair of steel-toes on. About like that.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

85. Owowowowowow....

:scared:

[swag]

72. I'm sure it is possible, but I'm not up to the task.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

89. Don't worry...Plenty of others seem to be.

:P :D

[Maestro]

73. All the others have pretty much described it.

And let me tell you that it hurts so much that my four year old who likes to swing his arms around has put me on the floor in tears on several ocassions. He's just the right height to let me have it. :)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

90. That makes me laugh....Even though I know it's painful.

:D :D

:hi:

[JVS]

76. I've never been hit/kicked, but I did once sleep on them wrong and...

for the whole next day I had aching and tenderness. I had to walk carefully, clothe myself carefully, and handle myself carefully when using the bathroom

[WritingIsMyReligion]

91. That sounds baaaaad.

:scared:

[Fox Mulder]

77. The only way you could possibly know...

is if you had a pair yourself.

Worst. Pain. Ever.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

93. Thanks, but I don't feel the compelling need to be male right now...

:P

:D

[madrchsod]

79. on the pain scale about a 7-8 -then it goes away

i`d say about the first big contraction during childbirth. i have 4 children....

[WritingIsMyReligion]

94. I don't know childbirth pain m'self...

But it sounds like hell--both childbirth and being kicked just so.

:D

[pokerfan]

82. Worst pain I've ever experienced

though, obviously men can't experience childbirth. Much worse than breaking a bone, though the pain from a break or spain will persist much longer.

A sharp blow will often trigger convulsions.

I pain recpetors are there because it we lose our nuts, we serve little to no purpose, from an evolution POV. It's basically your body telling you, "hey, be careful!"

I once somehow managed to catch one between a toilet seat and the bowl as I was sitting down. I wound up barfing into the bathtub.

Most of my experiences involved 1) slipping off the seat of a bicycle and hitting the top bar and 2) getting hit with a ball of some sort.

Ever see male soccer players defend a penalty kick? They stand there covering their privates, not their face. For good reason.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

95. Very interesting post.

Informative. :D :evilgrin:

Thank you! :hi:

[WCGreen]

84. I'd say if you had the pain right beofre a root cannal....

And magnified that by about 200x and into a short burst.....

You would come close...

[WritingIsMyReligion]

96. Never had a root canal....

But after reading ALL these posts, I think I can begin to imagine....

:scared:

:D

[leftofthedial]

97. not for about fifteen minutes

you can't do anything for about fifteen minutes

[kick-ass-bob]

98. the worst part is not the initial hit.

That can be withstood quite well, many times. It is the intense "aftershock" that spreads through the midsection of the body that can be debilitating. If hit just right (where the penis does not give any protection) the amount of force really does not have to be very large at all. It can make you throw up even. Someone said a loss of bowel control - I can believe that as well.