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Whack-job's sicko marriage contract.

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Jara sang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:14 PM
Original message
Whack-job's sicko marriage contract.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:19 PM
Response to Original message
1. I don't see anywhere in the contract where he's supposed to
do anything for his spouse.....


One-sided marriage.... yeah, that'll last-----NOT!
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:25 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Yes--he's definitely a whackjob
No hyphenation required! :) (In fact, I'd rather NOT be associated with his kind!)
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:24 PM
Response to Original message
2. What a fucking lunatic!!!!
He needs to be drawn up and quartered. Either that, or given to Bubba in prison so he can perform his own "wifely" duties as expected. Any woman that would submit to this fucker's "contract" needs to be admitted to a psych ward as quickly as possible, because there ain't NO WAY IN HELL a sane woman would allow that shit.
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:25 PM
Response to Original message
3. But he's so cuuuute!
Oh wait, no he's not.
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Uh, no
Perhaps he'd be "cuter" with the meat cleaver sticking out of his chest, which is where it would be if I had my say (in a marriage with him!)!
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Nah, it'd be far more fun to abandon him naked on a highway.
:bounce:
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. lol!
Too true, too true! :rofl:
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:40 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. Abandon him nearly naked on a highway...
with a perfectly measured rectangular strip of 3/4-inch pubic hair.

And thong panties.
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:44 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Bwahahaha! LIW!
You slay me! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
PERFECT!
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 05:30 PM
Response to Reply #8
18. How about instead of thong panties
we fix him up with one of those thong bathing suits--the one that barely supports and barely covers all of his precious jewels?

The one seen in this pic?




That should, if nothing else, take the steam out of his prick while he's wearing it! :rofl:
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
9. I want to know what kind of woman would sign that thing!
:rofl:
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Benfea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-23-06 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #9
33. That was my first thought exactly.
This guy's clearly nutters, but any woman who read that "contract" and married the guy rather than run away screaming for an opposite coast must be pretty insane herself.
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TallahasseeGrannie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
11. I want five minutes alone with this guy
and a thong, a razor, and a pair of thigh highs.
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Initech Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 01:56 PM
Response to Original message
12. Yikes, what a total nutbar!
Any woman who signs that, well... :yoiks:
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
13. Oh I get it.. .it's not a marriage contract - it's a SEX SLAVE contract.
So... duh.
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laheina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-23-06 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #13
26. Thus the pornographic decorative caps. nt
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asthmaticeog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 02:20 PM
Response to Original message
14. Boy, what a catch he is:
"Fellatio must last at least 5 minutes and may include climax."

5 whole minutes may include climax, stud?

Never mind the guy's obvious and terrifying control issues - that clause should send the bride-to-be fleeing.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #14
21. And he needs 20 porn pictures per month.
:eyes:

That control freak certainly hasn't earned any Good Behavior Days.
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eyepaddle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 02:31 PM
Response to Original message
15. Yeah, I just saw that via DKos
and knew it'd already be up here. What a completely vile ass that man is--how in the world did HE get married in the first place? Were there drugs or firearms involved?

On the plus side, she turned that "contract" over to the cops, so I guess we can say it surely backfired.

:puke:
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Patiod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 02:39 PM
Response to Original message
16. She says she didn't sign it
I would give my RIGHT ARM to know someone in his county who could look up whether he is registered Republican or Democrat (like I'm even in doubt)
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MissB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 02:41 PM
Response to Original message
17. Yes, and he is accused of kidnapping her.
Freak.
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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 08:43 PM
Response to Original message
19. The best part is where she's supposed to initial each line
Is there a "contract of husbandly expectations" in reciprocation?

It's a good thing we sell car jacks, because I told a couple of people at work about this contract and I hadda use a car jack to get their jaws off the floor. It seems to be the exact specifications for shaving that does it for most people. The "you lose good behavior days if you stop doing something just because it hurts" clause does it for everyone else. Imagine: your so-called husband is causing you to drip blood out of your ass, you tell him to stop, you're in trouble for it. And if you've exhausted your good-behavior days, you get tied to the bed and raped.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-21-06 08:55 PM
Response to Original message
20. Oh my god!
I'm no prude, but his "MY TIME" is just disgusting. She has to be naked? She has to do whatever he wants (including anal and swallowing?) whenever he wants. She can't refuse; all she can do is turn in "Good Behavior Days." She's noncompliant if she complains - even if "it" hurts???!!!!

This guy is just disgusting.
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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-22-06 10:51 AM
Response to Original message
22. This little snippet arrived this morning:
Speaking of alleged American psychos: An Iowa man whos facing charges of attempting to kidnap his wife, as well as a separate child-porn rap, is apparently more of a detail stickler than Gekko. In a four-page Wifely Expectations covenant obtained by police (and TheSmokingGun.com), 33-year-old Travis Frey established strict hygiene, clothing and sexual activities guidelines for his spouse, covering everything from cuddle time to skirt lengths to pubic-hair maintenance (!), as well as rules for My Time, during which she would never cry, sob, whine or pout or be distracted from me by other things. Reportedly, Big Tiny at the local prison digs the contract so much hes drawn up a similar one and eagerly awaits Freys possible arrival.

emphasis is mine

http://www.slweekly.com/editorial/2006/fbyte_2006-02-23...

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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-22-06 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
23. derby's quick and dirty solution
Surprise him with a magnesium "flash-bang" grenade so he can't see - at least for a while. His hearing may get a little damaged, too.

While he's blind, strip him naked and strap a pair of thong panties and some fishnet thigh-high stockings on his sorry ass.

Then lock him in a women's bathroom - at a lesbian bar.

Sit back, crack open a couple of beers, and watch the wacky hijinks ensue!!

God, I love America...
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Zookeeper Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-22-06 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
24. I saw that last night and almost posted it myself....
However, I felt absolutely nauseous after reading it. "Whack-job" and "Sicko" is an understatement.

Even more disturbing is that this couple has children.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-22-06 11:58 PM
Response to Original message
25. A-Fucking-Mazing!
What a fucking nut!
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-23-06 12:08 AM
Response to Original message
27. I read this earlier
And for the life of me, I'll never know why the wife didn't run screaming at the top of her lungs when she saw the first reference to her anus.
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Zookeeper Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-23-06 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #27
32. Isn't that the truth!
:spray: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-23-06 12:11 AM
Response to Original message
28. Look! He even goes to church
:eyes:

"all skirts no lower than two inches below the knee (unless it's for Church)"

Maggot. :grr:
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Common Sense Party Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-23-06 01:11 AM
Response to Reply #28
29. But then he gets mad at his wife for taking their daughters
to church.

What a sick, sick loser.
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amitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-23-06 01:27 AM
Response to Reply #28
31. I guess God just doesn't notice when the guy is
anal raping his wife?

CHURCH??? :wtf:
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-23-06 01:19 AM
Response to Original message
30. I've seen that
The wife should have left his sorry a$$ the minute she saw that bizarre, control freak's 'contract'. I know I would have, after telling him where he could shove it.
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