I am a single girl now . My boyfriend broke up with me over the phone ...

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

and there is no turning back . I made some posts about him on this message board a couple of times about how his family is using him for money and about how I think he is the best in the world . Well this person just showed me what an asshole that he was . He called me over the phone and told me that it was over ... not wanting to talk to me in person . Not wanting to work things out . And you know what the bad thing was , when I called him again he told me " you knew how I was before we started going out " and you know what , I see the light of the asshole within him and I feel hurt because I wasted so much time on him . He did'nt get me anything for Valentine's Day and he always put everyone who did'nt care about him the way that I did before me - I feel in shock but I know that I have to move on . Its going to be hard but everything happens for a reason ...

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[miss_american_pie]

2. He doesn't deserve you

:hug:

[Deja Q]

3. He's a pig.

And most men are usually only dogs...

Be glad he's gone.

You'll find someone better.

:hug:

And if he calls back, tell him to bugger off...

[LeftyMom]

4. You're too good for a jerk like that.

:hug:

[Sugar Smack]

5. Baby.

That kind of shit deserves no reply. He was LUCKY to have you. LUCKY, OK, he'S A PIECE OF SHIT, ok? hE'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE, do you get my drift? I'll kick his weak fucking ass next time I see him, cause my friends and I are like that, and you're not just a peridot, you're a jewel.

~love, Stefi

[Sugar Smack]

9. PS~ I've seen your picture.

You can have any man you want. Don't settle for some cheap whore. DO you understand me?

[Sugar Smack]

11. I just hate weasels,

and I will kick their fucking asses til they beg for mercy. Post a pic of your beautiful self now, and see how many democratic men are at your service!

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

15. You mean this picture ?

[Sugar Smack]

23. Duh......yeah!

THAT PICTURE.

If I weren't attached to a BAUBALICIOS BABE, I'd ask politely if I could have you for myself! :9

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

28. I am making a pact with God ...

God please don't send me another guy unless he is " the ONE that I am supposed to share the rest of my life with " ... because I can't take another heartbreak .

[Sugar Smack]

56. God can be slippery at times, but keep the faith!

:)

[Thtwudbeme]

39. Oh shit, girl

what the HELL are you doing with a man that acts like a dumbass.

Look---men like him (trust me, I am 42, and a North Carolinian also) are like busses. If you want to meet another one exactly like him to play with for awhile, they are in Charlotte, and one will be by every 10 minutes.

Wait for a nice man; you are so worth it!

Stephanie

[liberalitch]

67. 20 minutes on sundays....

But just buy a paper and relax

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

52. Now I KNOW I was right! Keep on walking, darlin' and DON'T LOOK BACK!

... and if you need a change of scene, I KNOW we can give you a FINE welcome out here in the Land of Oz! ;-) Some of us appreciate precious jewels!

[Guava Jelly]

70. looks like his loss

I'd say just quit looking for love
let it find you

[sasquatch]

6. Wow, that's fucking cold!

Did he order of Pizza afterwards while still on the phone?

[UrbScotty]

7. Come on up to Michigan and let's get together

;-)

There are PLENTY of other men out there.

[flvegan]

8. Did he give an actual reason?

Called...not wanting...not wanting...

Did he give you a why, specifically?

Regardless, better you find out now, and not when you're so deeply entrenched in a relationship that you need a lawyer, right?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

22. Exactly ...

although I am losing the feeling in my arms I feel stress away from my shoulders . My life is in a much better place than his and he has so much drama that we clash .

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

10. I don't even know you and I can say he doesn't deserve you!

If he didn't have the stones to say goodbye in person, then he lacks any semblance of honor or humanity. :evilfrown: :mad:

He's an insult to all manhood. On behalf of my gender, dear lady, please accept my apology! :hug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

12. It's a hard moment to live...I know

But the good thing out of it all is you now have more information about how to recognize a jerk. So hopefully, should there be a next time that a jerk enters your life, you'll recognize the traits and not have to go through this again.

Hang in there, and don't beat yourself up over this :hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

16. Our lives are going in two different directions ...

he has so much trouble at home and he does not have time for me or even for himself . His family problems were starting to affect me . We were going to get together on Monday but again his family needs him ... he got tired of breaking his promises to me and told me to find someone who can better take care of me emotionally . At first I was hysterical but honestly , that is what I need , someone better . Everything happens for a reason and God knows that I am at the point of my life that I am at the point of looking for someone to settle down with and this guy was not it .

[Wapsie B]

32. Wow, upon reading this again

you don't know how closely your experience parallels mine. Not quite the same circumstances but very similar. You will be better off without him.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

41. I would like to hear about your experience .

Please PM what you went you though . Any words will help me at this time .

[arwalden]

13. How Old Is He... Thirteen? Fourteen?

[FunkyLeprechaun]

14. Don't take him back!

My sister took her boyfriend back TWICE after he broke up with her over the phone TWICE. Both times he came crawling back to her. She broke up with him to be with an equally weasly boyfriend (one who hit on me).

DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK! Resist that "longing." (That's why my sister kept taking him back, she missed him.)

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

18. I just don't want anymore stress from him ...

so I am moving on . Plus he has so much drama in his life right now . God took me away from him for a reason .

[FunkyLeprechaun]

30. Good!

There's so many fish in the sea. Cliché I know, but it's true.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

17. I am so sorry, my dear CarolinaPeridot......

It always hurts when you lose someone you loved....

No matter what kind of jerk he was...

For awhile you had some fun, and now it's over....

So shed your tears, and go on.....it's the only thing to do....

I am sure someone better for you is out there.......

:hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

20. I am fine CaliforniaPeggy :)

I am fine . The shock has worn off but now I am just moving on because my faith in God tells me that everything happens for different reasons . I will be alright .

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. You are right, it IS going to be hard...but imagine the guy you would

miss out on if you stayed stuck to this "man". You deserve a world of better than that. MrG had family issues, almost exactly like the ones you describe your boyfriend as having and they very nearly destroyed us. He has since put his family in their proper place...behind his children and life is much better.

Please take care. You are worth someone who will cherish you.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

21. Thank you MrsGrumpy .

Its better that I leave now because his family has so much issues ... my stomach is in knots and I miss him so but I am moving on .

[redwitch]

86. Exactly!

I was totally in love with a man I thought I would marry and be with forever. He broke up with me on Thanksgiving (after treating me like dirt in front of his family all day). I was devastated. Then an old friend invited me out for a beer. He's now my husband and we've been maried for almost 24 years. I look back at the life I would have had with the boyfriend who broke my heart (turns out he was cheating on me too) and I am so glad he did!

You are very young, take your time. When God closes a door, he opens a window with a better view!

:hug:

[khashka]

24. He doesn't deserve you

and you're better off without him. Although I'm sure it hurts right now.

But if he can't face you and end it ... if he takes the cowards way out, over the phone... well, there are good men out there who will appreciate you. Pity he wasn't one of them.

Khash.

[SeattleGirl]

25. CP, you are much too fine a person for someone like that

And while it was a cold way to break things off, and I'm sure you're probably hurt (and not a little angry), it's probably good that this guy is gone, and you now have the opportunity to meet someone who deserves a person as good as you.

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

53. and it's just possible ...

... that if he hadn't ended it in such a cold, callous and cowardly manner, you might be considering staying with him, giving him yet another chance (and yet more of your love and your spirit) and walking ever deeper into the Valley of the Shadow.

You might even say that, by his treatment of you, you have been Delivered!

There is a candle on my altar with your name on it, Precious Peridot, with prayers for your healing and your empowerment... cast your eyes on the new path the Maker has opened for you, and walk proudly, little sister!

Edited to add the following:
Oh, and I'm betting you're even more beautiful in spirit than your image shows you to be in the flesh! :blush:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

72. Thank you DarkmoonIkonoklast :)

God knew that he was bring me down - he was the reason I was not eating , losing concentration , losing my faith , losing my nerves and I did'nt want to be lost anymore . I am bring myself back to me - its not going to be hard because I know this is something that I am going to have to do . I am strong - I am a diamond , I blinded him and he could'nt see how beautiful I was . I have moved on to better things in life - he was bringing me down .

[caty]

26. "When someone shows you who they are,

believe them." --a quote by Maya Angelou that is so true. Your boyfriend showed you who he was. Believe him and get on with you life. It sounds like you "dodged a bullet" there. You are much better off. I hope nothing but the best for you.:hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

27. Thank you ...

[caty]

29. My mom always said

that if you can't trust him, you can't respect him. And, if you can't respect him, you can't love him.

My experience is that you find good people who will be a big part of your life when you least expect it--usually when you are not even looking.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

31. But God knows I am tired of the heartaches ...

I am so sick of the heartbreaks . My first boyfriend beat me up badly . My second bf was deployed to Iraq and cheated on me when he came hom for and emergency leave . And now this ... Cupid and I don't get along very well . Its going to be hard to sleep tonight but like I said before I know that there is weight lifted off of my shoulders . But getting used to not having him is going to take some time ... he has too much drama for anyone to handle . His family needs help .... bad ...

[caty]

34. Well, again--

it sounds like you dodged a bullet there. Concentrate on yourself. After a break up, I used to go on a self improvement binge. I exercised, took a class in something I was interested in, read a book I hadn't had time to read. And before I knew it, someone interesting would pop into my life. Met a great guy once at a cooking class. Who says you have to meet you S.O. now. Maybe he's not meant to be a part of your life right now. Maybe next month--or even next year. Until then, take care of and be good to yourself. When you stop looking for someone--that's usually when you stumble upon them.

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

54. May I suggest...

... find activities which allow you to warm your spirit... Focus on these things, and cultivate friendships with those who share your passion for service... from amongst these, you might find your proper mate: one who walks your spirit path already, thus, can be by your side as friend and partner...

[Scout1071]

33. Did you post about this on Valentine's Day?

That he didn't get you anything and he's older than you?

If so, good riddance to that jackass. He didn't "forget" Valentine's Day. He's just an A-#1 Asshole.

Chin up. You are better off without him.

[TInCanCommunications]

37. Women need to get off the Vday Kick and they'd be better off

Expect nothing.

You can't bitch about the paternalistic society and all of the objectifying of women in our commercial society, and then turn around and expect flowers, chocolate, dinner, movie, etc on Valentines Day.

Get off that shit, ladies.

Sounds like this guy was an asshole to begin with. YOu don't need to drag V-day and all that shit into the picture.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

42. I was'nt dragging Valentine's Day into anything ...

You misunderstood my post . Its not about Valentine's Day - its about being an asshole in general . i am not materialistic - I knew that his money went to his family - I was always there for him no matter what . I was'nt dragging V-Day into this thankyouverymuch .

[TInCanCommunications]

43. Sorry to imply that you were

I noticed in your thread and then the one I applied to.
I view Valentines Day as cheap and superficial.

Anyway, enjoy some alone time.
Then enjoy single life.
And you'll be attached before you know it.

[Scout1071]

47. Good for you.

And to some extent, I agree with you on the commercialization. But you know what? I was just commenting on the fact that he told her that "he forgot." As another poster pointed out that day, nobody in America could "forget" it was Valentine's Day. Every gas station, grocery store, everywhere had stuff.

My whole point was that he was lying just to be hurtful and sounded like an ass.

[imperialismispasse]

85. No that wasn't her

[johnnie]

35. I'm so sorry CarolinaPeridot

I know how much that can hurt. Just try to give it time and make up your mind to move forward. Eventually it really does get better.
I wish I had more comforting words.

:hug:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

36. I'm so sorry

You didn't waste time; it was most assuredly a growth experience for you. Here's a link to one of my favorite essays:

http://www.rwe.org/works/Essays-1st_Series_03_Compensation.htm

The last 2 paragraphs, especially.

Take care - we care about you!

:hug: :pals:

[BlueIris]

38. ((((((CaliforniaPeggy)))))).

Poor thing. You are SO much better off. You were with a very, very bad person. Have some doughnuts now, and cry.

Also? I second the thoughts of the person who posted that you should never take him back (and he might try to weasel back in). That would be BAD news.

[johnnie]

44. Who?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

46. My dear BlueIris....

I think you meant to say CarolinaPeridot........you still have time to edit......

[applegrove]

40. Asses what the greatest/worst thing was about him - and put that

on your list to avoid for next time.

Greatest strength is always greatest weakness. Try other mixes of guys.

There is a whole world out there. And there are lots of people who would adore you and feel being with you is a privilege.

[aquaman]

45. His loss....

Sounds like a moron to me. You are better off. Stay strong.

[barb162]

48. Over the phone is not the best way to do things...he just

couldn't face you. But at least you know where he stands now and you are rid of him. (It could be worse;He could have emailed you). Baby yourself the next few days

[NMMNG]

49. I'm sorry CP

You don't need me to make pronouncements about him, you already know what sort of person he is. I'll just give you a big :grouphug:.

[liberaltrucker]

50. We've all been there

Hurts like hell, I know. But always remember, we at DU are in your corner.
The guy is worse than an asshole. Time heals all wounds, AND wounds all
heels. DU is here for you:grouphug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

51. Its just this happens to me all the time .

Sometimes I feel that I am not right for this world . Sometimes I feel like a girl like me who respects herself , who does'nt sleep around , who does'nt cheat , who loves with her completely woke up in the wrong world . WTF is wrong with people ? Wolves in sheep clothing is all that meet it seems .

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

55. PLEASE don't lose faith!!!

I have experienced the pain of which you speak. My mate and partner of 5 years dumped me on our anniversary, then tried to have me arrested on a bunch of bogus accusations. (the judge threw out all charges "with prejudice" -- she MIGHT be facing perjury charges) She and her druggie "fiance" have taken over my home, and have pretty much sold off or trashed my stuff... I ended up staying with various friends, wondering what kind of damned fool I was to keep on loving these losers...

You know what? I was reminded -- again -- that those who love totally are the special gifts of the Great Maker... it's folk like you who are the living light... the breathing, glowing example of real love.

Certainly, Jeshua didn't count the pain of his love, he just loved... if those to whom he gave his love proved unworthy -- and remember, all of them let him down at one point or another -- he just loved that much more. You are a beautiful spirit with a wrapper which only shows the Truth. Keep your faith, precious sister, and walk your walk. You will find someone who will cherish you, but first, remember that love is purest which does not seek return.

Be well, dear sister... you have many candles burning for you today, and for as long as you need their light. Walk in beauty, love and joy, precious Peridot... and remember: you ARE loved! :hug:

[billyskank]

57. It *is* tough to be a person who cares in this world

Sometimes it seems it would be easier just to become like them, not to care about anyone any more, only to look out for yourself.

The price is too high. (And happiness isn't found that way either).

[liberalitch]

63. It takes a long long time.... I don't know how old you are but....

I didn't meet the commie until I was 31.....
Now, ten years later, I only joke about plotting his untimely demise.....

[Justpat]

58. Let him go and know that you are lucky for having him

out of your life. His exit makes room for a better person to come to you.

Hang in there.

All the best... OB

[tjdee]

59. You see the light of the asshole within him! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAA!

That was hilarious!
But more seriously, :hug: :hug: :hug: .

You spent some time with him, but imagine if this had happened after 5 years of marriage and two kids. You got out before that, no harm, no foul. You'll get better, and you won't settle for his behavior with someone else. It's just going to take time, and that sucks. Give yourself some time.

Some dudes are just losers. They can't all be like Shahrukh Khan.

[Crazy Dave]

60. Phone calls are a little more "ballsy" than a break-up email or....

...break-up text message which is even more chicken-shit. Sometimes, when the shoe is on the other foot and you want to get out of a bad or abusive type relationship I DO recommend a phone call break-up as it's a little safer and you don't have the individual acting heart broken and groveling in front of you excessively (acting) which can make you change your mind and not do the right thing.

I've never had a problem with break-ups, being on either side, when it's over, it's over, time to move on.

[Guava Jelly]

61. I think anytime we look for love in others

and not in our selves we set ourself up for heartbreak.
Be lucky that he is gone and not living with you unhappy.
be thankful you havent heard the words
"I love you but i'm not in love with you"

[liberalitch]

62. Living well is the best revenge....

Party with your girlfriends, devour rich food shamelessly, show your tatas and flirt with younger men.

[Guava Jelly]

66. start with showing me your ta tas.. just kidden

I am a licensed tata inspector

[liberalitch]

68. Only for the beads....

Inspector eh.... someone's gotta do it.

[Guava Jelly]

69. its a hard job but i do it because someone has to

oh the humanity.

[In_The_Wind]

64. Celebrate CarolinaPeridot.

You have your whole life in front of you unencumbered by someone who didn't love you enough.

I know it hurts right now but this will pass. When you've cried all your tears ~ Go Out And Have Fun. :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

65. Oops

I guess my laptop thought that was worth saying twice.

[Radical Activist]

71. I hate it when that happens

I've made a couple posts about my bad luck in love lately so I can sympathize. But it sounds like you have a good attitude about it and I'm sure you'll find someone better. There's no sense investing time in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat you as well as you treat them.

[ET Awful]

73. What an ass!

You deserve way better than that jackass.

:hug:

[Fenris]

74. Over the telephone?

If I were king, I would decree that anyone who uses a telephone to end a relationship will face execution by firing squad.

:hug:

[ComerPerro]

75. Damn. I'm sorry to hear that.

[nemo137]

76. I did that once. Broke up with a girl over the phone, and you're right.

It is the biggest asshole thing I have ever done, and I still regret it. I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

77. I will survive ...

what does not kill me , makes me stronger .

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

79. Amen, sweet sister!

I look forward to seeing you as you blossom... I would love to meet you... here, or wherever... in five years time. :toast:

Blessed Be, querida! :hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

80. UPDATE : Tonight we talked to each other in person for the first time ...

we talked to each for the first time in person since the break up and he did me a favor by leaving me . Worrying about him became a health problem . We are better friends than romantic partners - it will take some time for me to get over him but I have no choice .

[no name no slogan]

81. Good for you!

This just wasn't the one. You're obviously in a better spot now, especially since you took on so much worry for his sake. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anybody else.

It took me ten years to realize that. I spent all my time trying to please somebody who would NEVER be happy with what I did, and I let my own health go to hell as a consequence. Take care of yourself first, because in the end nobody else will, no matter what they say.

:hug:

[u4ic]

84. I went through a similar scenario

We kept on trying and trying - probably should have ended it 4 years before it did.

I always said we would be better friends...and we are. We were able to work out the negative emotions of the breakup, and stay good friends; after all, we know each other better than anyone. We usually get together once every week or two just to hang out/talk/have a meal, etc, and have for the past 7 months.

In the end, it is one of the best things I ever did for myself. I didn't realize HOW much it was dragging me down until I left.

:hug: to you, CarolinaPeridot. The lonely/empty feelings will erode with time. It might be a chance to take inventory, spend some time with yourself, and do some inner work, to avoid these scenarios again.

You're a lovely woman, inside and out. :loveya:

[Blue_Tires]

78. ttt n/t

[MissHoneychurch]

82. Honey I am sorry

:hug:

sounds like you are better off without him. But I know it still hurts a lot. Give yourself time to get over him. Then go out again and meet a good man, a man who deserves you

:hug:

[AtomicKitten]

83. wow, this guy sounds like he has class

... all lower.

Just for his tasteless mode of breaking up, don't shed any tears. Move on and be happy; after all, that is the best revenge.

One foot in front of the other.

Best wishes.

[MadHound]

87. Don't despair, times will get better

After running through the dating wringer, breaking up, drama,disappointment, way too much stress, getting my heart ripped to shreds, I gave up. I stopped looking for another person to share my life with, and decided I would be better off going it alone.

And at that moment, when I wasn't looking for it, when I least expected it, somebody literally walked through my door and into my life and heart. And the funny thing is that she had given up also. Twelve years later, we're more in love than ever, happily married, and have a wonderful relationship.

So don't fret or worry, be yourself, don't compromise, and when you least expect it, BANG, love will walk in the door.

But I know right now it is hard, breaking up, especially when the other person is an ass about it, is hard. So take care of yourself, don't rush anything, and here, have a :hug: or two:) And please take to heart, it isn't your fault, OK. The guy is a jerk, and you deserve better:hi: