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25 Rules For Being A Good Republican

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nannygoat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 01:57 PM
Original message
25 Rules For Being A Good Republican
Anybody else get this email today? Sorry if it's already been out there awhile. One that I didn't see was "You have to believe that you're not an adult until you are at least 40."

> 25 Rules For Being A Good Republican
>
> 1) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
> unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock,
> which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for
> your "recovery".
>
> 2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth
> achieve success all on their own.
>
> 3) You have to believe that the US should get out of the
> UN, and that our highest national priority is enforcing
> UN resolutions against Iraq.
>
> 4) You have to believe that government should stay out of
> people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having
> private sex with the "wrong" gender.
>
> 5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it
> makes a profit.
>
> 6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you
> don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
>
> 7) "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers
> and moving their jobs to India.
>
> 8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with
> decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national
> corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with
> no regulation whatsoever.
>
> 9) You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves
> you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims,
> homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.
>
> 10) You hate the ALCU for representing convicted felons, but
> they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
>
> 11) You have to believe that the best way to encourage military
> morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA
> benefits.
>
> 12) You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins
> that can only be purged by running for governor of California
> as a Republican.
>
> 13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of
> schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms
> they won't have sex.
>
> 14) You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism
> is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation
> and money.
>
> 15) You have to believe that government Medicare is wrong
> and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best
> interests at heart.
>
> 16) You have to believe that providing health care to all
> Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care
> to all Americans is socialism personified.
>
> 17) You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global
> warming are "junk science", but Creationism should be taught
> in schools.
>
> 18) You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy
> was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.
>
> 19) You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan
> armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a
> good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad
> guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
>
> 20) You believe that government should restrict itself to
> just the powers named in the Constitution, which includes
> banning gay marriages and censoring the internet.
>
> 21) You have to believe that the public has a right to know
> about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of
> Republicans are a "private matter".
>
> 22) You have to believe that the public has a right to know
> about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to
> censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report
> because you just can't handle the truth.
>
> 23) You support state rights, which means Ashcroft telling
> states what locally passed voter initiatives he will allow
> them to have.
>
> 24) You have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960's
> is of vital national interest but what Bush did decades later
> is "stale news" and "irrelevant".
>
> 25) You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because
> it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is just
> dandy.
>
> (running around the 'net; author unknown)
>
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oldcoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
1. This is good
Thanks for posting this list.
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sybylla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. I shared the love
Sent it to my righty and lefty friends and family. Mainly the righty family members who are always sending me the left bashing e-mails.

I'm itching for a fight today so I can't wait to see if I have any takers. Already battled the phone company and the bank this morning so I'm all warmed up.
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nannygoat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 02:41 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. sybylla, I hope you get to use that pent-up adrenalin
from your morning battles!
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sleipnir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 02:27 PM
Response to Original message
3. Rule Numer 26 (for being a good Repug)
Socialism doesn't work and thus Canada and Europe don't exist.
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nannygoat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 02:39 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Good one, sleipnir! n/t
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MarianJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 03:22 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. Don't Forget #27!
bush jr. is all that is good, pure and virtuous! :puke:
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 02:34 PM
Response to Original message
4. I am sooooo sending this to my RW brother
heh heh...
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Melsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
7. This is so funny!
because it's true. I sent this one off to some family members.
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Redleg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-01-03 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
9. Good stuff!
I like it. Shows some hypocricy. Good things we liberals aren't that way.
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