Notice to writers querying editors for assignments:

[eyesroll]

1. Know the publication you're calling. I just got a pitch from a woman who wanted to send me personal anecdotes about her dad, who built chicken coops and barns with his bare hands, with homemade tools, and skills he learned through correspondence courses. (I edit a publication that talks about none of that.)

And, more importantly:

2. Do NOT have your soap opera on loudly in the background. :eyes:

[AllegroRondo]

1. Can i have 24 on in the background?

Its not exactly a soap opera.....

[eyesroll]

2. If I can't hear it, do what you want.

But I could tell that, not only was there a TV program on, it was a soap opera. (I'm not sure which one, though -- it's been awhile since I've seen any.)

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. I can't even follow GH anymore.

All these new characters, and the old ones are played by new actors.

[Ivan Sputnik]

4. How did she find you?

I used to edit a magazine that had a listing in Writer's Market. Nothing usable ever came via that route. I used to get totally unrelated queries and manuscripts all the time, sometimes from people who appeared to be mentally unstable or only semi-literate.

[eyesroll]

5. I have no idea -- she didn't say.

She was nervous as hell, too. You'd think she was calling to tell me somebody had died or she wanted a date or something.