Was I rude? (roommate-boyfriend conflict)

[deadparrot]

All right, here's the story (it's long-ish, sorry)

I'm in college, and live in the dorms with one roommate. She's a nice girl, didn't know her before coming to college, we get along and hang out on a semi-regular basis, but aren't the best of friends either. Tonight was going (seemingly) well, we were both at our computers, Law and Order was on, the room was quiet. She gets up and leaves for a couple minutes. I was working on a paper and IMing people, and not paying much attention. I didn't bother to glance at her when she came back to sit at her desk, I figured that she went to the bathroom or something. When, a few minutes after *that,* another girl from our floor comes in (a better friend of my roomie's than I am) all in a panic, saying "What's wrong!?" Apparently, my roomie left a message on the dry erase board of this girl's room that something was the matter.

It turns out that her longtime boyfriend (she's got a promise ring), on his MySpace account, was talking about asking another girl out on a date. Once the other girl was in the room with us, my roommate started sniffling and crying a little (or at least, she started audibly crying...I didn't hear anything out of the ordinary while we were alone...our desks are on opposite ends of the room and don't face each other).

Anyway, the three of us were up there, me kind of uncomfortable because I think I look completely cold and heartless for not realizing my roommate was freaking out. The other girl keeps telling my roommate to call her BF, that she deserves an explanation, etc., which is completely fine. My roommate does so, and immediately starts screaming at her BF, cursing, and the like. I didn't have a problem with it at all, but I also knew that if I were screaming at *my* BF, I'd want as small an audience as possible, so I signed off my computer, etc., and headed down to the computer lab (from where I'm speaking right now), to give them a bit of privacy.

Now that I'm down here, I'm worried that it looked like I left because they were disrupting me, which definitely wasn't the case. I was planning on making sure she was okay when I went back up, giving her a hug, and explaining myself once the immediate storm has passed--maybe writing her a little note. Still--I'm feeling really bad. Any thoughts?

[Shine]

1. I think it was polite of you to give her some space, actually.

you did the right thing, imo. You can check in with her later and make sure she's OK. Good plan.
:thumbsup:

[LeftyMom]

3. I agree

The other girl by encouraging the roomie to call right away and then sticking around to watch the fireworks seems to enjoy conflict. Giving the roommate some space is definitely classier, although I would have tried to take the other girl out of the room with me- it sounds like she enjoys conflict and that's the last thing the roommate/cheated-on girlfriend needs right now.

[KitchenWitch]

2. I think it was a good thing to give her privacy

As far as not knowing what is going on, she did not share it with you while you were in the room with her, so I don't think you are a cold person. You are not a mind reader.

[BikeWriter]

5. I'm with you, KW.

[mac56]

4. you did just right

Gave her the privacy and respect you would want for yourself in such a situation (god forbid).

[henslee]

6. Disengage. Crack the books. Trust me, if you are still friends with 3

friends from college in five years, it will be more than most college grads. I would do everything I could to not be distracted by bullshit college soap opera crap.

[deadparrot]

7. Oh, I know.

I sometimes hang out with this group of girls on my floor, but they're not my core group of friends. These are, however, people with whom I'm going to be living for the next five months, and I just want to keep relations generally good because we all live in such close quarters. :)