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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:25 AM
Original message
Worst ever Movie Adaptation.
My vote goes to The Avengers. A real bloody travesty. Possibly the worst movie ever.
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BurtWorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
1. Stuart Little
but I haven't seen the Cat in the Hat.
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Kamika Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
2. I have the best one
Modesty Blaise
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Radical__Moderate Donating Member (55 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:27 AM
Response to Original message
3. The postman
The Postman by David Brin is an absolutely wonderful book.
The movie was aweful.
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Love Bug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #3
49. My "friends" talked me into going to "The Postman"
Every now and then I remind them they still owe me the 3 hours of my life back!
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
4. First thought was "Sgt Pepper's Lonely HCB" then: "Cat in the Hat"
Which I admit I have not (and will never) see.
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quispquake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:32 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. Sgt. Pepper hands down
truly the most terrible movie ever (considering the source...some of the best Beatles music ever)..
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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:33 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. Yeah. That's pretty close for me.
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ironflange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:38 AM
Response to Reply #7
14. I've seen it too, and it is bad
But is it really an adaptation of anything?


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GumboYaYa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #4
56. I agree 100%
on both counts. I was wishing I could fall asleep in "The Cat in the Hat." My seven year old even thought it was stupid.
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returnable Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
5. The Chocolate War
I still get steamed thinking about how they screwed with the ending.


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nostamj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:31 AM
Response to Original message
6. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
would be up there...
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bif Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
8. Prince of Tides
I heard was a real stinker. I refused to see it.
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Plaid Adder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #8
38. I wouldn't say it's Cat In The Hat quality.
But it's definitely worse than the novel. Way, way, WAY too much Lowenstein (Barbara Streisand's character).

C ya,

The Plaid Adder
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Zero Gravitas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
10. Lost in Space
The movie had none of the sillyness and campy charm of the TV show. No sense of humor either.
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On the Road Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:36 AM
Response to Original message
11. Wow -- Lots of Good Ones
"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" iss another candidate. Probably unfilmable, but stil...
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:40 AM
Response to Reply #11
15. youre crazy
that movie ruled man.
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TopesJunkie Donating Member (979 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:09 PM
Response to Reply #15
25. Nah, it stunk.
Sorry.
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WoodrowFan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #25
32. no, it ruled.
No, it ruled, it ruled IN SUCKYMOVIE LAND! ARGH! I loved the book, could not get 10 minutes into the movie.



to paraphrase, "I could eat a can of film and :puke: a better movie!
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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:35 PM
Response to Reply #32
33. Yes, it reeked.
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Plaid Adder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:33 PM
Response to Reply #11
40. OH! OH! I got one that CAN'T BE BEAT!
Edited on Mon Nov-24-03 01:36 PM by Plaid Adder
The Demi Moore/Gary Oldman adaptation of Hawthorne's classic novel *The Scarlet Letter!*

MAN that was foul! Let me count the ways:

1) I am not kidding when I say that the first 75% of the movie takes place before we even get to page 1 of the novel. It's all imaginary backstory--and it's Godawful.

2) Then, having squeezed the period covered by the actual novel into 25% of the film, they outrageously and inexcusably violate it by tacking on an action-adventure ending in which Hester and Dimmesdale escape from Puritanville (in the novel, Dimmesdale dies penitent and Hester stays in the town and raises Pearl alone).

3) Puritan sex. Enough said.

4) Both leads were AWFUL in their respective roles and there was zero chemistry--perhaps because they both also LOOKED awful.

5) The writing, oh God, the writing.

On Edit: And I forgot--it's 3 hours long! If you're gonna suck, at least suck for a short period of time.

Adaptation or not, I defy you to find me a worse movie. Shudder. Shudder.

Interesting trivia note: Dodi Fayed, also known as The Guy Who Died With Princess Di, was one of the producers. Poor man, to have that as a legacy.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder
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geniph Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #11
41. For what it's worth, Hunter Thompson loves it
and loves Johnny Depp playing him. There's talk of making another of his books into a movie, and he's agitating for Depp to play him again.

Then again, who wouldn't want to be played by one of the sexiest human beings alive?
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #11
54. Strongly Disagree about F&L in LV
Did you know there is a Criterion Edition DVD of this movie? Well there is.

To the extent that anyone can put HST's vivid, muscular, drivingly passionate prose on film, this movie achieves that. Johnny Depp, Benecio Del Toro, and Terry Gilliam were the right people to put this book on film.

You want to see HST suck on film, try Where the Buffalo Roam and get back to me.

Depp and Del Toro will be back next year to do The Rum Diary, Hunter's early fictionalized account of his days working on a newspaper in Puerto Rico.

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bif Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
12. Bonfire of the Vanities
Was so bad I heard they made a documentary about the making of the movie.
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #12
22. DePalma should NEVER have filmed "Bonfire"
I had some real qualms about adapting Tom Wolfe's excellent novel to the screen. And, boy, were my doubts confirmed.

The worst problem of this movie was the casting. Tom Hanks is a good actor, but he should NEVER have been cast. Ditto Melanie Griffith. Ditto Bruce Willis (in the book, Willis' character was British). And especially Morgan Freeman...who's character in the book was an older, whit Jewish man.
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Westegg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:21 PM
Response to Reply #22
27. Bonfire of the Sham-ities
You should read Julie Salamon's great non-fiction book, "The Devil's Candy," about the making of "Bonfire." One of the best "insider" books about Hollywood ever, and it depicts all the million awful decisions and egos that made that truly one of the worst adaptations ever. It also, in general, is a good primer on why big-studio movies can be so terrible.
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bif Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #27
29. Thanks
I wasn't sure whether it was a documentary or a book. I'll have to look for it.
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dwckabal Donating Member (854 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
13. Chocolat
excellent book, shitty movie
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TopesJunkie Donating Member (979 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #13
24. Good book. Great movie.
One of the few movies that actually improved on the book, in my opinion.
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WoodrowFan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:40 AM
Response to Original message
16. Teen Age Asian Cheerleader Hitchhikers #23.
Nothing like the book!
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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:44 AM
Response to Reply #16
18. But it was a lot like the cartoon, though.
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WoodrowFan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:59 AM
Response to Reply #18
23. Only in the first season
the second season was wayyy too "Josie and the Pussycats."
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WoodrowFan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
17. Oliver!
From Dickens comes one of the worst musicals ever made. Good God!
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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:45 AM
Response to Original message
19. Or Macbeth by William Shakespeare.
It's all bloody lies you know.
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noonwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #19
28. Did you see "Scotland, PA"?
It's a pretty amusing take on "MacBeth", set in a fast-food diner.
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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. Have not. Will check. Cheers.
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DonP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:48 AM
Response to Original message
20. Clan of The Cave Bear (ouch!) Ntxt
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Loonman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
21. Exit to Eden
Turned an erotic novel into a stinker of a comedy.

Seeing Rosie in bondage gear wasn't all that appetizing, either.
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skypilot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:17 PM
Response to Original message
26. I don't know about "worst ever"...
...but Sofia Coppola's film version of "The Virgin Suicides" was pretty awful. That was such a beautiful book and every scene just fell flat up there on the screen. I think some of what the author was trying to convey in the book might have been unfilmable.
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TopesJunkie Donating Member (979 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:25 PM
Response to Original message
30. A couple of baddies:
Rules of Attraction
The Grinch
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tg Donating Member (80 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
34. Felatio Hornblower
Read the book, the movie sucked.
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DrWeird Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
35. War of the Worlds
The book is a real dark and fatalistic piece about the weakness of man and the inexistence of God. A preacher trapped in a house realizes how he had wasted his life in his faith and resorts to cannabilism. The martians are complelely resistant to human counterattack but, in one of the best endings ever written, are finally brought down by the lowly germs.

In the film, the martians are still killed by germs, but now they're Germs Sent from God. The hero looks up at the end from the dead alien to see he's standing in front of a church. The final shot is the church surrounded by a halo.
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Darth_Ole Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. I have to agree on Sergeant Pepper's..
However, it really isn't an adaptation of it. Thank God the Beatles had nothing to do with it.
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Plaid Adder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:15 PM
Response to Original message
37. My 'review' of the Avengers movie
in case you would enjoy reveling in the invective:

http://www.plaidder.com/avenge.htm

Actually, I haven't seen *The Cat in the Hat,* but I expect history to crown it the victor. It sounds truly awful.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder
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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. Yup. You can't replicate the Avengers TV series.
They tried way, way too hard to do that and fell flat. As a series fan, I was really embarassed, like watching a multiple-car pile-up in slo-mo. I saw it in a cinema in Rotterdam with Dutch subtitles and mad Dutch raver kids running around screaming and beating each other, which was the only entertainment I got all night. The original TV show exists in another space that no-one can ever reach again, just like that Dr Who TV Movie from 1996.
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Plaid Adder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:39 PM
Response to Reply #39
42. See, I have never actually seen the original show.
All I knew was that I was watching one suck-ass movie. Please, expound on how much worse it would have sucked if I had actually been familiar with the series! I've always wondered.

Enquiring minds want to know,

The Plaid Adder
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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:49 PM
Response to Reply #42
44. They took all the quirkiness and campness out of the original
strangely enough by trying to replicate it. It was like they kept winking at the camera saying 'this is a knowing reference to the original show' if that makes sense. In the original show, there's a real sexy playfulness between Steed and Peel, but it's ambiguous because Emma is married, and John is a gentleman (and also, a little sexually ambiguous himself, as she is) so the sexual tension carries it. There was no chemistry at all between Thurman and Fiennes, they just seemed dull and flat. In the original show it's like there's a world of simmering emotion underneath Steed and Peel's English reserve that is extraordinarily sexy.
The other problem was that the original show was quite surreal, in a very sixties way, with lots of Freudian subtext and dadaist absurdity that they tried to recreate in the movie. Unfortunately the writers didn't capture the subtlety and nuance of the original, so it all seems rather silly. The real appeal for me about the Avengers show is that there's a real threat behind the camp absurdity, and real emotion underneath the clowning. The movie is just bad camp.
I hope this makes sense, it's a difficult subject to articulate.
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dreissig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
43. The Loved One
I like Evelyn Waugh, and I like Jonathan Winters. Separately. The movie was vulgar, reaching for cheap laughs. Awful.
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Sting Donating Member (403 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:50 PM
Response to Original message
45. How the Grinch Stole Christmas...
starring Jim Carrey. Didn't follow the original cartoon version, and not only that, it had Jim Carrey. The man isn't funny and it killed a great classic.

Also, any new movies starring the "Looney Toons" characters. Again, killing great classics.

:grr:
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mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 01:51 PM
Response to Original message
46. "Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil".
nm
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peekaloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #46
50. agree, damn a bad movie with Spacey and Cusack !
but Clint Eastwood did redeem himself with 'Mystic River'.
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Westegg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 03:13 PM
Response to Original message
47. Ever seen "The Bible"?
Directed by John Huston, in 1966. Uncredited script rewrite by Orson Welles.

Richard Harris "IS" Cain
John Huston "IS" Noah---and God---and the Snake!
George C. Scott "IS" Abraham
Ava Gardner "IS" Sarah
Peter O'Toole "IS" The Three Angels
Franco Nero "IS" Abel

This Bad Movie Adaptation must be seen to be believed.
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tjdee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 03:14 PM
Response to Original message
48. Avengers, then The Scarlet Letter.
Good GOD! DEMI MOORE as Hester Prynne?

But Avengers was much worse. Which is sad, because Fiennes, Thurman, and Connery are very good actors. Fiennes was perfect for the part.
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Plaid Adder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #48
53. GMTA--see #40 above
The Scarlet Letter takes no prisoners. It is not only a very foul movie, but it is a SUPER-foul adaptation. I think it's worse than The Avengers, but then in that case I'm not familiar with the original.

Let this be a lesson to Hollywood: It's hard to make Puritans hot.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder
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onebigbadwulf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
51. How about the Lost world , JP2?
Not that the book was great, but the movie was even stinkier.
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Screaming Lord Byron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 03:35 PM
Response to Reply #51
52. Fair enough. The worst ones though are lousy flicks from good sources IMO
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mitchum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-24-03 04:01 PM
Response to Original message
55. "Last Exit To Brooklyn"
proof once again of the difficulty in turning great literature into even a passable film
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