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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 06:33 AM
Original message
Why being a nice guy won't get you laid
This seems to be a recurring theme here...

http://www.relationshit.com/girls/niceguys.html

Nice guys tell women they are pretty. Nice guys are polite and listen to women and empathize. Nice guys are nice. So where's the conquest in that? Where's the sense of accomplishment for landing you? Where's the challenge? Where's the bragging rights? Where's the "I'm so hot I landed the really cool guy"? What's in it for her to date you?

Women go on dates with nice guys. Women sleep with assholes. Why? Because women are basically insecure. They're human. Just like you.

Confident men are attractive because women (and men for that matter) like the idea that someone that sure of himself likes them. Women need to respect you.

They have to work for it. Otherwise, women will just trash you.

It's all Hollywood's fault. And this is where being nice gets you nowhere. You don't pay people to be nice. It's viewed as something you have to be if you don't do anything else well. That's why fat chicks are always nice. They have to be.

So if you aren't nice, women will see you as a challenge. And as long as you keep them trying, they'll be happy. But they'll try to pull you down by appealing to your softer side to regain control. Don't let this happen too soon, before you find out if it's really a long-term thing.

Don't kid yourself. There is some serious power plays going on here because men and women have different agendas.


Too harsh? DU ladies, there's a section for you: http://www.relationshit.com/girlindex.html

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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 06:38 AM
Response to Original message
1. Oh christ...
*runs for shelter*
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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 06:50 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. I especially liked this section on the ladies site
http://www.relationshit.com/guys/guyscommit.html

Why guys are commitment-phobes...

This is why, when a guy goes out on a date with a woman and finds himself really liking her, he often will demonstrate his affection by avoiding her for the rest of his life.

Women are puzzled by this, I don't understand, they say, We had such a great time! Why doesn't he call?

The reason is that the guy, using the linear guy thought process, has realized that if he takes her out again, he'll probably like her even more, so he'll take her out again, and eventually they'll fall in love with each other, and they'll get married, and they'll have children, and then they'll have grandchildren, and eventually they'll retire and take a trip around the world, and they'll be walking hand-in-hand on some spectacular beach in the South Pacific, reminiscing about the lifetime of experiences they've shared together, and then several naked international fashion models will walk up and invite him to join them in a hot tub, and he won't be able to.




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LaurenG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
17. Well I married a nice guy
Edited on Fri Dec-23-05 03:46 PM by OhioBlues
And I know he likes me and well we "like" each other all the time so that isn't true. x(

on edit: I meant to respond to the original post.
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LSK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #3
18. several naked international fashion models
Such a nice thought! Thanks! }(
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Lochloosa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 06:48 AM
Response to Original message
2. ....
:popcorn:
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 06:51 AM
Response to Original message
4. This is utter and total bullshit.
It demonstrates an utter lack of maturity on the part of the author.

As I've said before, men who can't find dates love to label themselves "nice guys," and then complain that "women don't like nice guys." Usually, the "nice guy" has big problems in self-analysis, so he has no idea what it is about him that women don't like.

Signed,
A woman who loves truly nice guys (guys who don't point out how "nice" they are)
and has no time for "challenges"
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 07:24 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. I agree
The author is a caveman looking to justify being a caveman.

He makes sweeping generalizations about what men and women are like, but personal experience says BS. I could give a shit about shopping, and 80% of the lads I've dated aren't into cars or sports.

And the kicker is that he knows he's full of it. He tells women not to worry about their looks, then says that most guys would dump you for a supermodel in an instant if one were available. :eyes:
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grace0418 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #5
20. Total caveman.
The statement "that's why fat chicks are nice" clinches it. Total caveman. Ugh, I find guys like that sooooooooooo freaking repulsive.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 08:51 AM
Response to Reply #4
10. I disagree
Not entirely, but I do disagree.

There are plenty of balanced people out there.

There are plenty of sleazebags looking for conquests.

And there are plenty of the gullible too who like to be led.

Neither side can be justified in a single line or stereotype.
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #4
13. Yep...If most men would just "Be Themselves" and quit......
..acting like it's some kind of F*cking arcade game, they would "Score"
with emotions that truly count.
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Dangerously Amused Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 07:42 AM
Response to Original message
6. Loser can't get a date and wonders why.
Edited on Fri Dec-23-05 07:44 AM by Dangerously Amused



Loser boy: Nice girls won't go out with me. That's why I'm a sexist asshole.

REALITY: I'm a sexist asshole. That's why nice girls won't go out with me.


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AirmensMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 07:48 AM
Response to Original message
7. Bullshit alarm!
This is full of it.

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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 07:50 AM
Response to Original message
8. So... pokerfan... do you agree with the author?
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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #8
15. It's written for humor
Kind of a Tim the Tool Man cave man type humor.

But, in my opinion, there's also a little truth there. Google "women" and "nice guys" and you will find half a million (literally) sites explaining why women don't go for "nice guys." And every week the lounge gets a post by some "nice guy" saying the same thing. And the women pat him on the back and reassure him.

I'm not saying you have to be an asshole or a jerk. But I think it can be a fine line between being a "nice guy" and a door mat. No one wants to date someone they can walk all over. That's just human nature.


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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 05:14 PM
Response to Reply #15
23. All that proves to me is that there must be more whiney men than women.
Edited on Fri Dec-23-05 05:14 PM by Misunderestimator
The fact that there are half a million sites explaining why women don't go for nice guys (and most are written by men no doubt)... and the incredibly predictable posts here that we see over and over and over and over and over and over and over from "nice guys" complaining about women, only show that these so-called nice guys just like to whine instead of finding out what's really wrong.

:shrug:

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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 08:47 AM
Response to Original message
9. I have only ever dated
and married human beings. They are nice sometimes, and not others.

The label 'nice guy' as above is shorthand for 'bitter, self-pitying troll.' He thinks that women operate collectively according to set of rules that elude him. He is unwilling to approach each woman as a person, with all the risks that entails: that he won't be able to control the situation, that he might not get laid, that he might fall in love.
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Pale Blue Dot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 08:51 AM
Response to Original message
11. This is simply not true.
I have proof. That's all I'm saying :evilgrin:.
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 08:54 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. Sounds like the puke cleaner-upper
is gettin' some.
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lizziegrace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 09:54 AM
Response to Original message
14. Been the "challenge" route
It's not worth the anguish. I'll take a kind, decent, caring man with a good heart and a passion for life any day over some superficial asshole.

The author probably believes Dr. Phil's new book is THE guide for women too.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
16. Conversely, if that's true, Dick Cheney should be getting sucked off 24/7
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 03:48 PM
Response to Original message
19. Wow. My boyfriend must be a total asshole and just kept it from me for
five years. My whole world is shattered. SHATTERED I tells ya!

What complete and utter bullshit. For the cry-in out loud, all of us should simply be ourselves. It would make life so much easier for everyone. Really. It would.

Complete and utter, stunningly ridiculous bullshit.
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
21. Of course it's bullshit
Methinks the author hasn't achieved balance, and thus he ain't gettin' any.

Any guy with the brain of a duck knows women love Nice Guys who know when and how to be a bit dangerous.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. Exactly
Nice guys with a naughty side- that's the ticket! :evilgrin:
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. And speaking of naughty
"Boyish figure" my ASS!

:loveya:
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LeftPeopleFinishFirst Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
22. i like nice guys, but sometimes they SEEM nice and they're not
I think a majority of women don't choose to sleep with assholes - in my experience I've met some guys who I genuinely thought were nice only to find out that they were just pretending.
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 05:21 PM
Response to Original message
25. Oh fer fuck's sakes....
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 05:44 PM
Response to Original message
27. This article is wrong
I have been nice and I have been an asshole and I am still single. My "problem"? I don't waste time trying to find me a woman. I don't like to play the relationship game and I am fine being the way I am.
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dpbrown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 10:19 PM
Response to Original message
28. That there are-tickle is HI-larious! HI-larious I tells ya!
Confidence, it's the new aphrodisiac. :evilgrin:

Just don't splash it on too thick, a-cause den it steeeeenks like eau de arrogant asshole.

:rofl:
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Jed Dilligan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-23-05 11:26 PM
Response to Original message
29. You don't have to be a wimp to be nice.
It takes a pretty weak person to have no mode between "pushover" and "dickhead."
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-24-05 12:00 AM
Response to Original message
30. All the self-pitying bozos, yes bozos, who complain that women
"don't like nice guys" are actually NOT nice guys themselves.

They don't realize how true the Beatles song "Can't Buy Me Love" is. They try to bribe women into loving them (or more likely, letting them into the sack for the night) by being Mr. Super Polite Attentive Gentleman Who Brings a Dozen Roses on the First Date and Showers Her with Conmpliments.

The trouble with self-styled "nice guys" is that they just ACT nice. Deep down, they're angry at women for not following the Hollywood script of "boy badgers girl until she agrees to take up with him." (There was even a thread a while back in which one self-styled "nice" guy asked why women wouldn't just fuck anyone who asked them.)

They chase the same women that all the other men are chasing, the shallow, self-centered types who look as if they stepped out of Seventeen or Glamour (depending on your age), and they're angry that the shallow, self-centered types go off with the shallow, self-centered men.

They don't want a real relationship. They just want to bed and then be seen with the babes. They don't have a clue about what a real relationship entails.

You alleged "nice guys" whine and moan about how women don't want you. Meanwhile, there's undoubtedly a woman who inexplicably likes you, perhaps the classmate who asks if you want to meet to study for the final together or the woman who says someone gave her two tickets to a concert and would you like to go along or the one who wants you to walk her to her car when there's a whole roomful of men to choose from or the one who reminds you a couple of times to come to her party or the woman who greets you--and no one else--with a hug. She may practically have herself decked out in green lights, but you won't notice, because if you're mousy, she is, too; if you're fat, so is she; if you've got acne, so does she. In other words, she doesn't look any better than you do. So she's perfect for you. But you don't see it, because you think that you automatically deserve a Hottie, and you'd rather be alone than settle for someone who is actually no more or no less good looking than you.
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