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An old joke, but, hey, it is Frisky Friday!

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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-04-05 04:36 PM
Original message
An old joke, but, hey, it is Frisky Friday!
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.The only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air..

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit
her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."


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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-04-05 04:37 PM
Response to Original message
1. AAHHHHHH!!!
I wish there was a barfy laughy smilie!!

:puke: :rofl:
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-04-05 04:39 PM
Response to Original message
2. He ate them?
and the vaseline?
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-04-05 04:41 PM
Response to Original message
3. Oh ......ugh.......
I've heard this one...it makes me feel just a little sick.....

I'm so glad it's just a joke......I HOPE it's just a joke......


:puke:
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LaraMN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-04-05 04:42 PM
Response to Original message
4. Oh, sweet Jeebus!
:spray: :rofl:
I hadn't heard that one. Gro-iss!
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texas1928 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-04-05 04:42 PM
Response to Original message
5. The owner of this drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily...
Against the outside wall of his drug store.

He goes inside looking for his clerk.

"What's with that guy over there by the wall?" ask the owner

"Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." Replied the clerk.

"You idiot!" Yelled the owner" You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!"

"Of course you can!" replied the clerk, "Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-04-05 04:47 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
:spray:
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