Fundies are going to be in my basement and there not going to be for pets

[DanCa]

Okay first the good news. The flu bug is gone yay. Thanks for all the advice. Now the bad news. I found a note tacked to my bedroom door that says my sister - the real nut case - is having her church book club - or book burning club as the case may be - is going to be meeting tonight in my basement which is adjacent too my room. This is the same group that a) says the chronicles of nariniah (sp) teaches totemism, and that b) I deserve parkinson's because I want to "farm babies" for stem cell research.
Grr six fundies and a preacher do you know how long it's going to take to get the stink out of the carpet? Oh btw the book they are "readding" is "Ten Minutes From Normal." Isn't that by karen Hughes? Any advice to get me out of this hell would be most appreciative.

[tigereye]

1. yikes

thought this was a Halloween joke. You have my sympathies.

come in in your Satanic costume and scare everyone? Or would that earn you an exorcism? Some kid actually came to my door for trick or treat wearing a goat head- looking mask with horns once....

[Hugin]

2. Leave a copy of Kitty Kelly's book conspicuously somewhere.

[RedCloud]

3. Break open the toilet exhaust pipe!

Tell 'em it's what they are full of anyway.

[blindpig]

4. What fun!

The possibilities are endless. A choice selection for your listening pleasure is in order. My personal favorite for such is Troutmask Replica. Doesn't need to be obnoxiuosly loud, if they can hear it at all they will be extremely disturbed. As you will be so close discernment in your dinner fare could be helpful. I'd suggest pickled eggs but you know what works best for you!

[LynneSin]

5. Hide all the rolls of toilet paper in your house

and when they ask for them tell them to use their book to wipe their ass!

[SOteric]

6. I must have missed that chapter

in the bible where Christ failed to heal the sick and show compassion, but instead told the lepers, the blind and the lame that they 'deserve their infirmities' owing to the "unacceptable" beliefs they held.

[DanCa]

7. Hmm what if I blair Michael Moore F911 real loud or give them

exlax brownies?

[noonwitch]

12. Exlax brownies could lead to criminal charges, I advise against it

I'd go with something loud. Listen to some really loud, crude music, like gangsta rap or GNR (Appetite for Destruction or Use Your Illusion 2 would be good choices for obnoxious lyrics-"Rocket Queen" seems to get a reaction, and songs like "Get In The Ring" and "Shotgun Blues" are so profanity-laced, they are funny)

Or, better yet, join in their discussion group and ask them all kinds of obnoxious questions. Too bad it's not a Bible study, you could read "Ken's Guide To The Bible" by Ken Smith first for inspiration.

You could ask "If Adam and Eve were the first people on earth, and their kids were Cain and Abel, where did Cain find a wife after he killed Abel, left home and went to the Land of Nod?

or

"If abortion is wrong, then why does God demand that so many unborn babies and children are killed whenever the ancient Israelites defeat an enemy?"

or argue with them about whether the words of Paul of Tarsus are truly equal to the word of God. Find contradictions between the words of God and those of Paul, or examples of Paul twisting scripture to make his point.

[Taverner]

8. Smear fake blood on the door in the form of a pentagram

Leave around some diapers. They'll get the hint

[Gidney N Cloyd]

9. Interesting living arrangement you have there.

And what happened to "church groups" meeting at the church?

[DanCa]

11. Yeah I have an excuse to stay at home (disability)

But my sister is just a slack ass working on another sememster milkin it why she can

[DS1]

10. I wake up with Totemism every morning

Damn, guess it's off to hell for me