I hold in my hand a winning Powerball ticket.

[Robb]

I just KNOW it.

Beg for the money ... DANCE!!!

I will eschew charity and instead create an army of the undead to perform my bidding!!













But I won't let the power go to my head.

[Elidor]

1. Now you've done it

You've jinxed yourself.

[mwdem]

2. Damn! You are soooo not a dingbat!!

I'm just saying!

[CanuckAmok]

3. I know why I have never won the lottery:

Because I have rehearsed over and over the speech I'll deliver at the press conference when they ask what I'm going to do with XXX million dollars:

1) I will smote my enemies.

2) I will make more enemies, and smote them, too.

3) I will visit Japan, and Belgium.

4) I will have my penis enlarged to the point I need to hire a small child to carry it for me.

[Robb]

5. You can hire the child now

But not so much in this country. Can't speak for Japan or Belgium.



(ducks and RUNS)

[kanrok]

6. Mr. Grammar guy says: "Smite"

One does not "Smote" his enemies in the future, one "smites." If you have already accomplished the "smite", you have "smote." e.g., see, "If it weren't Assize time, I would smite thee with my sword!"
That is all.

[CanuckAmok]

7. Yeah, but I could afford to smote.

And you just made the list, buddy.

[democracyindanger]

4. That's not a Powerball ticket in your hand.

Why do you keep telling people that?

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

8. LIES!

For I have the one and only winning ticket!!

[gauguin57]

9. When I make MY speech ...

... I'm gonna say something along the lines of that lady's obit a couple of years ago ... where the family said the deceased wanted memorial donations given to any organization that would work for the unseating of George Bush. ("goodbye, whisle ass")

... While I have the forum, I'll talk about using some of my money to work for peace in the midst of this immoral, illegal war ... defeating the Republicans who have used their offices for ill, etc. etc. We'll see how much of THAT gets broadcast.

[Wcross]

10. I hold the losing ticket in my hand......

..I only buy them to support education in my State. Many kids are getting lottery scholarships thanks to my attempts to win the jackpot!

[RedCloud]

11. Your army of the undead will be defeated.

I'll get the link and be charged one edit (I am primitive that way...)

This device will stop them dead in their undead tracks or your money back.


courtesy of emad:

http://www.kcci.com/news/5116630/detail.html