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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:05 PM
Original message
Feeling a bit lonely tonight...
All the friends have got other things going on tonight, so I'm just kind hanging around.

The ex, whom I am stuck living with until the end of the year, is returning from Chicago where she's been all week meeting potential roommates and preparing for her move there in January. I somewhat hate to say it, because we are trying to be friends, but I really wish she weren't coming back. I've been doing really well, and I just feel myself bracing for something to happen that's going to stifle my healing.

I might add, Chicago is where she cheated on me. She claims the guy doesn't live there any more, and she's proven that, but I somehow can't buy that he hasn't been there this week. While that pisses me off, I've not been dwelling on it, focusing more on the fact that I'm moving on and trying to date other people. In fact, I hadn't really thought about it until today, because I know she's coming back. What I fear, however, is that she might be careless (and I do mean actually careless - I don't think she'd be malicious) and leave some kind of memorabilia (like a picture or something) hanging around that'll really kill me. It has already happened once a while back, and I did not react well. I really can't afford to go through all that again. I will probably ask her to be vigilant about that when she comes home, but I still worry, as even when everything was essentially perfect, she was always very careless about things.

I think I'm going to go see a movie later, just to get out, and preferably, not be here when she finally gets in. I'm not doing as bad as perhaps all this sounds, but it's one of those things I've got nagging at me inside my head, and I just wish I had someone around to help get it out of my head. A hug would go along way right now too, but I don't see that coming...
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Graf Orlok Donating Member (441 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. I'm lonely tonight too.
None of my friends are around (they all graduated here from college), and my roommates are gone.

I'm going to walk up to Dairy Queen later to comfort myself a little bit, and then pop in a movie or ten.

:(
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Why does everyone disappear at the same time?
And then I'll have weekends where everyone and their brother wants some of my time.

It always seems like people disappear when I could really use someone around too. (They don't know that I could use them, it just works out that way by shitty coincidence)
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Graf Orlok Donating Member (441 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:10 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. That happens to me too.
Sometimes people suck.
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Parche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. Disapear
I feel your pain
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Parche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:08 PM
Response to Original message
2. tonight
Well I am going to the local pub, and having beverages
ITS HEINEKEN TIME
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
5. I'm sorry, i understand how you feel, My husband has been away for 2 weeks
now, our 14th wedding anniversary was on tom Delay indictment day and he called me last night to tell me he won't home until next thursday. He's away a lot for business and the past year it's all the time, he's sick of it and so am i but right now thats the best we can do.

:hug:
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caty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:22 PM
Response to Reply #5
12. I'm in the same boat.
My husband just left today for a week. He was gone last week too. Came home for four days and is off again. Oh well--I'm going to start my Christmas shopping this week-end ( yes--I start early). I'm also going to call a girl pal and go see some horror flicks. My husband doesn't like horror movies, so I go see one or two while he is out of town. I keep busy. For some reason the time of day I get lonely is the late afternoon and early evening. The rest of the time I'm fine. But I'm used to it.
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. you sound just like me, my husband hates horror movies too
i will admit with him gone all the time i get more done but i miss a lot. When i hear my neighbor complain that her husband will be home late for work i feel like smacking her, at least he's coming home dear.
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caty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:34 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. I get a lot
done too. Then I have more free time when he is home. I'm lucky that this isn't all year round. It's seasonal for his traveling. :hug:
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Lavender Brown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:11 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'm sorry
I'm guessing there's no other living arrangement you could make? January is such a long way off.

:hug:
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:18 PM
Response to Reply #6
11. This all started late June.
It's already been such an unbelievably long time. 3 months down, 3 more to go. :eyes: :scared: :thumbsdown:

Unfortunately, no, there's nothing else I can do. We've got a lease together until the end of the year, and there's no way we can get out of that.
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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:12 PM
Response to Original message
7. A rough situation....
We can only give virtual hugs (and that's usually not enough) but here's one anyway:

:hug:


Easy to say.... but if she can't treat you right, she isn't worth you. Even if you still have feelings for her. There are a lot of great women out there, who can love you as you love them. Like I said, easy to say.

:hug:

Khash.
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. No, you're right.
I don't want her back. Most definitely couldn't trust her and I absolutely deserved better than what she's given me since April.

I'm hoping we can stay friends, but if I can't trust her to be considerate enough to take simple steps to make sure she doesn't hurt me further, that won't be the case. She's had an extremely difficult life, and I'd like to be able to stand by her as a friend, but I can't keep going through this.
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
10. My dear Vash.....
You have my complete sympathies, my dear.....

I know you'll be all right, but right now it's hard.......

So here are some 'virtual' hugs from me, your friend CaliforniaPeggy...


:grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug:
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Nicholas D Wolfwood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. You're wonderful as always Peggy
Edited on Fri Sep-30-05 07:25 PM by Vash the Stampede
:hug: I will be fine. Hell, I'd say I'm doing pretty well as it is, I'd just be doing so much better if I didn't have to live with that hanging over my head. Like I said, I'm trying to start dating again, and I'm not the kind of guy that would put someone through a "rebound", so I really do think I'm ready for it (and I'm excited by the idea).

Of course, I have to also worry that if I start dating someone now, I have to explain fairly quickly that I still live with my ex and just sort of hope they have enough faith in me to stick that out. God will I be pissed if she costs me happiness twice.
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 07:32 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Ah, my dear Vash.......
Thank you for your sweet words.......

Let me recommend something that is easy to say...and hard to do...

Try like anything not to worry.....especially about things that you have ZERO control over.....

It sounds like you have a reasonable script to say to any new love regarding your ex.....So go with that.......

Have fun at the movies...there are some good ones out there.....


:pals: :loveya:
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hickman1937 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 08:00 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. Vash, not every date has to be an interview
for a potential relationship. You don't have to put anyone through a "rebound". I've been thru this. Her shit is going to cost you some happiness till she is physically gone. Stay away from her as much as possible. Stop trying to be friends, and just see her as an unwanted room mate. Live your emotional life away from her. A knife in the back is not a sign of friendship.
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #17
19. Your advice sounds a bit cynical..
.... but I couldn't agree more.

Unless there are kids involved, there is no reason you have to be friends. At this point, what is important is getting on with your life. The less you have to deal with this person, the easier it will be to do so.

That's my Dear Abby Sage I've Been There I'm Fucking Old Advice of the night :)
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hickman1937 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 10:05 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. Cynical? Yes. Maybe I am.
Edited on Fri Sep-30-05 10:06 PM by hickman1937
Isn't a cynic a disillusioned idealist? At 50 my cynicism is at war daily with my fast failing idealism.

edit for crappy typing.
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 11:01 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. I'm ...
.... 50 also, and disillusioned idealist is pretty much a perfect description :)
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hickman1937 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-02-05 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. It's not mine. I'm quoting someone.
Before menopause I could have told you who.
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La Lioness Priyanka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-30-05 09:00 PM
Response to Original message
18. trying to live with an ex
is just cruel to everyone..yourself/your ex/your new parther/ex's new partner

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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-02-05 06:36 PM
Response to Original message
23. I didn't see this before,
so it's coming a bit late, but huge hugs to you {{{{{Vash}}}}}. I empathize, as I'm feeling extra lonely today as well. Though I don't have the ex situation to contend with. Time will heal that....just do the best you can in the meantime and be kind to yourself.

:hug:
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