You are the President. Build your own cabinet, using nothing but DUers!

[Plaid Adder]

It occurred to me today that the problem with Bush isn't just that he fills important positions with his cronies instead of people who are actually qualified--but that his cronies are such IDIOTS.

Can you put together a better cabinet? Here's the list of departments:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/government/cabinet.html

Which DUers would you put in what office, and why would it be a vast improvement?

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[MissMillie]

1. Can I be in charge of FEMA????

I rode a horse once. (Maybe even twice...)

[merh]

3. If you are over FEMA, will you pay me to be a consultant to

tell folks what the fuck FEMA is doing wrong NOW?

I'll be good, I promise and I have first hand experience (and would like of a piece of the Red Cross too).

[MissMillie]

5. you're HIRED!

I'll pay you a lot of money too.

[merh]

8. Cool - and we can't be accused of cronyism (like that matters)

cause we didn't have friends, who had friends who we attended college with and who contributed to our campaigns. How cool is that!

[LSK]

2. i have a background in computers/IT

So therefore I am qualifed to run the Dept of Agriculture!

[Beer Snob-50]

4. Can I be Drug Czar

I have dropped Acid and I make a mean pizza with magic mushrooms.

[khashka]

29. You can only be Drug Czar

if you have some good drugs and are willing to share....

Khash.

[Terran]

6. Catwoman would be my Secretary of State

No diplomatic bullshit for her!

Misunderestimator, Sec'y of Peace
Zen Lefty for Education (just whack 'em with a hockey stick if they don't learn)
ZombieWoof for Chief of Staff

aargh, too many to choose from!

[Zomby Woof]

33. Excellent

First business at hand is firing all of the asocial junior high losers in this outfit.

[LynneSin]

7. Matcom - White House Cook

I heard he can cook!

[Ladyhawk]

18. How is his "cat souffle"? n/t

[SOteric]

38. If you can get him out from under

that desk in the oval office, sure.

[khashka]

9. Hmm, let's see

I might have to create a few new departments, though....

Secretary of Defense - KitchenWitch (she's a whirling dervish)

Secretary of State - The Magistrate - infinitely polite and he doesn't put up with anything. A born diplomat.

HEW - CaliforniaPeggy . Obviously.

HUD - merh and datasuspect. Both could use a new house and I'm not above a little graft.

Presidential speech writers: Plaid Adder and Will Pitt

Whatever job xmas wants she can have. Jimmy too. Girls, write your own tickets.

Agriculture - who smokes the most pot around here?

First Lady - TJ. He'd be the cutest Stepford wife ever

Surgeon General - me, with a little help from my friends....



Khash.
(I might not be that great a prez after all)

[Jamastiene]

11. "Agriculture - who smokes the most pot around here?"

DEA would be better for those qualifications.


"Secretary of Defense - KitchenWitch"
My choice too.

[KitchenWitch]

23. Wow

Thanks khash and Jama!

I agree with khash on the Sec of State position!

I would add BouncyBall to the speech writing team!

[xmas74]

13. I want whatever job will get me the most men.

Instead of being on the cabinet I just want to be your personal secretary. I can interview all potential intern candidates and decide who looks the hottest. I'm also really good at confusing anyone trying to make a stupid phone call(telemarketers are sorry that they ever called me in the first place).
Create the position of secretary of hot-looking rock stars just for me. I can think of someone who needs to move into the Lincoln bedroom for the soul purpose of being stared at every day.

[khashka]

17. I was having problems finding a position for you

Head of the Department of Hairy Men?
If it wasn't for the seperation of Church and State I would have made you Pope of the Reznorites.


But personal secretary works for me . You check out the interns and pass on the good ones to me

Khash.

[xmas74]

20. After I get my chance w/ them first!

I must do the test drive for all the candidates. It's only fair.

As to Pope-that's my side project. You become president and we will make him reside in the WH. I need someone to bow down to and worship once in a while.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

14. ROFLMAO!

This is wonderful!

I thank you for your vote of confidence, my dear Khash......

Health and Human Services.....I will kick some serious ass as head of this one.....

[merh]

15. Thanks so much khashka!

I am honored, but I am also concerned. What happened to datasuspect's home.

We can be joint heads of HUD - we would do a wonderful job and make you so proud!

[khashka]

21. At the risk of saying stuff he hasn't said publicly

He was living in Beaumont. He got out.... but home? Job? he doesn't know if anything is left.

I like the boy and I worry about him. But I think he's doing OK. I just worry. I hate it when my friends are suffering.

Khash.

[merh]

24. Oh my, I will pmail him.

Thanks for letting me know. I can so relate to his uncertainity and stress.

[tjwmason]

25. YAYS - first lady.

All the fun - all the publicity - all of the jollying around in chauffer driven cars/aeroplanes* - none of the work.

8 years acting as little more than a clothes-horse

Do I get to pick my own secret-service detail? Some of those guys are HOT.

I promise that in public I would be the perfect Stepford wife (aside from the whole being a man thing) - but behind closed doors would be a very different issue.

*This one's a deal breaker b.t.w. - I don't care what focus groups say, I will use real spellings not those silly American ones.

[Jamastiene]

10. This is a brilliant idea. Who has what background?

This would be a great ongoing game to play on a monthly basis on DU. Let people "campaign" for the positions and let people put together cabinets and test out ideas. I wish I could stay longer this afternoon and play.

[billyskank]

12. I'd just take hedges, clone him off a dozen or so times

and put him in every post.

[Magrittes Pipe]

16. I'm here to do my doody.

[billyskank]

19. Where's my cloning machine?

[IChing]

22. Is the Central Intelligence job still open?

I have no intelligence and I think that is Central to the Agency.

[khashka]

28. Sorry, no

You get to be Head of The Department of Poetry.

It's you're own damn fault.

Khash.

[flvegan]

26. Were I President, I could replace every moran in that group with

a dancing monkey, and it would be a vast improvement.

Loading up with DUers, though, now that would be phenomenal...

[skygazer]

27. Can I have the Treasury?

I balance my checkbook every day and I'm fanatical about money.

Either that or the ATF - I'm well versed in alcohol, tobacco AND firearms.

[salin]

30. I'd be interested in either the dept of education or the dept of energy

though my professional degrees qualify me more for the former - given the current admin random - no qualifications needed pattern - it doesn't really matter.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

31. I want Defense

Please?

[Chichiri]

32. I want Toby Ziegler's job.

[lizziegrace]

34. EPA or Forestry Service?

I'm tired of being in a cube farm everyday.

Please???

[lizziegrace]

35. No wait!!

The Corporation for Public Broadcasting OR something in the arts...

[nytemare]

36. I wish to be Chief Director of the Ministry of Silly Walks.

[SOteric]

37. Okie dokie

Secretary of Agriculture - HeyHey, - yes, yes, he’s Canadian, - but where else will we be getting some primo BC bud?

Secretary of the Interior - ZombyWoof. Because someone has to make the coffee at cabinet meetings.

Attorney General - The Magistrate

Secretary of Labour - supernova. There are so many to choose from in the field of those with too much experience on the job market, but I think this is the sound choice.

Secretary of Commerce - Rabrrrrrr, and I can’t wait to hear his first rant about the state of commerce, or the economics of grocery carts, or something.

Secretary of Defense - Skittles will be decided which asses need kicked and in what manner.

Secretary of Education - Ulysses, he’s already got policy.

Secretary of State - Skinner. If you’ve ever been a moderator, you know what kind of an amazing diplomat that man has to be while keenly and decisively taking care of business.

Secretary of Energy - Salin, - because she wants it and she's competent enough I think she can probably handle it.

Secretary of Transportation -NothingShocksMeAnymore, - on the hood of her car.

Secretary of Health & Human Services - rbnyc, - she’s had an unfortunate lot of experience in this in the last couple of years.

Secretary of the Treasury - GOPisEvil, whose life path has provided him more than a few hard lessons in how to balance a budget and what to do with debt.

Secretary of Homeland Security - Nada. Get rid of it.

Veterans Affairs - Mr.Scorpio

Housing and Urban Development - newyawker99, - ‘cause this job is just crying for someone who really cares about the people.

[Rabrrrrrr]

39. It would be a rant to make you wet your pants with laughter

and a sense of truth beyond any truth you've heard from a politician before!

Unfortunately, I'm going to do that to you on Live TV, though it won't be intentional.

And as Secretary of Commerce, I can spend most of my time in a gin fog.

[SOteric]

40. That would almost be worth

the booby prize of having to be president and face a vast right wing conspiracy.

[DanCa]

41. can i head the bureau of alcohol tobacco and firearms

just think my aim is bad enough with parkinsons imagine how bad it will get once i get a few belts in me and my eyes start stinging from cigarett smoke.