Fuck this! I'm leaving DU for evil!

[bbernardini]

In a small mid-western American town there lives a dentist. This dentist is 50-some years old and rather a colorful character. He is known far and wide as "Doc". Everyday Doc knocks off at 5 P.M. sharp, and at 5:05 he is down at Dick's Bar for his cocktail. Ask anyone, and they can tell you the only drink he has ever ordered is a frozen strawberry daquiri, with a pecan in the bottom of the glass.

One day at about 4:45, Dick (the owner AND bartender) began the daily ritual only to find he was out of pecans! After searching frantically for almost 5 minutes, he found a small package of hickory nuts under the bar. Not really having any other choice he made the daquiri with a hickory nut.

Doc came in at 5:05 and sat down at the bar. The Bartender put the daquiri in front of him without a word. The dentist took his first drink and made a funny face. "Is this a pecan daquiri, Dick?"

The bartender said, "No, that is a hickory daquiri, Doc!"

[Arkana]

1. Oh yeah? Take this!

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying:

"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in conflict in Iraq"

"OH NO!" the President exclaims, ashen faced, "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at his display of emotion, nervously watching as

Bush sits, head in hands. Finally the President looks up and asks,

"How many is a brazillion? More than a million right?"