Fuck this! I'm leaving DU for good!

[southlandshari]

Well, not really. Just wanted to get your attention. Because I just heard the funniest fucking joke ever and wanted to make sure you all had a chance to hear it, too!


Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying:

"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in conflict in Iraq"

"OH NO!" the President exclaims, ashen faced, "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at his display of emotion, nervously watching as

Bush sits, head in hands. Finally the President looks up and asks,

"How many is a brazillion? More than a million right?"

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. Help! The mods are melting down!

Rough term, eh?

[southlandshari]

9. Can you blame me?

What are we to do with troublemakers like this?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[bertha katzenengel]

2. Don't they take away your modding privileges for behavior like this?

[southlandshari]

10. Nah.

That's only if you call another DUer a really, really bad name.

And I would NEVER do that!

DS1 can vouch for me on this.

[crispini]

3. Ok, I admit it,

Got me!

[southlandshari]

11. That was the whole idea!

[tyedyeto]

4. Drama Queen!

[southlandshari]

12. I didn't used to be this way...

Then I started posting in the Lounge.

I learned from the best!

[sniffa]

5. *snort*

[southlandshari]

13. Only one response possible here...

[Misunderestimator]

6. From YOU.... yeah... that gets attention. LOL

[southlandshari]

16. Awww....thanks!

I think.




Despite my best effort, though, and replying to everyone on this thread - which I do because I'm polite and was raised right, but which also has the added effect of kicking my little copycat entry here - it lags sadly behind yours:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

Perhaps if I posted myself and another gorgeous DUer kissing some lucky schmuck (sorry, GOPisevil!) my thread would be faring better!

[Misunderestimator]

19. Yes, but you'll notice that half the posts on that are mine.

Please DO post yourself kissing some lucky DUer. I would love to see that.

[southlandshari]

22. LOL - any volunteers?

[Misunderestimator]

28. Hahaha... you're on the Greatest Page!

You win!

[southlandshari]

29. Whew! That's a relief!

There was an embarrassingly small response (read: zero) to my call for volunteers to let me kiss them for a picture to be posted here!

Perhaps this accomplishment will divert attention from that sad reality!

[BikeWriter]

7. Thread recommended for the Greatest Page.

[southlandshari]

17. Wow!

This may be the first time I've ever made the Greatest Page!!

LOL - I am usually far too busy making people run away from threads others have started to start new ones on my own!

I guess I should publicly declare I'm leaving DU more often!

[BikeWriter]

73. ROFL! Excellent strategy, Shari!

[johnnie]

8. Best Brazilian one yet

[southlandshari]

18. Coming from someone

who posted what may have been THE greatest thread ever in the history of the Lounge a couple of weeks ago, yours is a reply I won't forget, darlin'!

[johnnie]

34. I did?

Cool..lol.

[southlandshari]

37. Oh, come on - you are just being modest, darlin'!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[johnnie]

48. Oh yeah..that one

It did pretty well for me. In fact I think it was one of the last ones from the lounge to hit the "greatest" page.

Actually, I think a lot of mine are pretty good, but while I watch them fly off the front page I often reconsider my thinking...lol.

[redqueen]

14. What the hell's going on around here?

[southlandshari]

20. You know what they say...

If you can't beat them, join them.

Even if your best effort is pretty goofy!

[Zuni]

15. I thought the mods were supposed to stop these hijinks

[southlandshari]

21. OMG. You are RIGHT!

Someone hit alert - quick!

[khashka]

23. LOL. Good one!

But are mods allowed to say "fuck"? Or did you send that resignation letter after all?


Khash.

[southlandshari]

25. Oh no!

You again?

Oh, what the hell....

[khashka]

86. How could you do that to me?????

A popcorn smiley?!?!

I thought we were friends again

Khash

[southlandshari]

88. I'm sorry!

Let's call it even, ok? We both made each other cry in the past few hours, and both posted the popcorn smiley once.

I'd say we can get on with being friends now.

Except for one little thing....

I did post something last night and have been waiting in vain for a little reciprocity from you for hours....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[khashka]

97. Done!

But a boy does have to sleep once in a while...

(I told a friend how mean I was to you and she said "You really know how to make friends with people! Why don't you try being nice to her?" So I'm on my best behaviour now.)

Khash.

[no name no slogan]

24. Why do you hate America?

[southlandshari]

26. .....

For some odd reason, I can't choose from the dozen or so snappy replies to your post that spring to mind!

So I shall ponder them some more while I clean my monitor!

[progmom]

27. ha!

[southlandshari]

38. I try.

[progmom]

40. at least you didn't post any scary spider pictures

like that terrible, mean, rotten horrible misunderestimator.

[southlandshari]

42. Thank you, progmom!

She is awful, isn't she?

[progmom]

51. she's incorrigible.

[arwalden]

30. Tell It Again! Tell It Again!! I LAUGH AND LAUGH... EVERY-TIME!!

[southlandshari]

39. Only for you!

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying:

"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in conflict in Iraq"

"OH NO!" the President exclaims, ashen faced, "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at his display of emotion, nervously watching as

Bush sits, head in hands. Finally the President looks up and asks,

"How many is a brazillion? More than a million right?"

[arwalden]

44. Oh... My Sides Hurt!!

[southlandshari]

61. I think you may be overfeeding that ROFL smiley, darlin'

[arwalden]

79. He's A Bit On The Chubby Side, Isn't He? --- It's Because He Quit Smoking.

And substituted snacks for cigarettes for a long time... then when the taste buds recovered from NOT being subjected to smoke, the food TASTED SO GOOD, the he just ate more than he should at every meal.

But his teeth are nice and white. His clothes and hair and car and house don't smell like stale smoke. His heart and lungs thank him for it. Eh?

-- Allen

[southlandshari]

82. Touche!

[ProfessorGAC]

31. Thanks For The Laugh

I have to tell my friends that one.
The Professor

[southlandshari]

45. No problem.

I couldn't believe it hadn't made the rounds here yet and I got to be the first one to tell it!

[bamacrat]

32. Hilarious

Got 12?




We do.

[southlandshari]

46. Talk to me Monday, darlin'.

Enough said!

[merh]

33. :-)

[southlandshari]

49. Finally! Some real class on this thread!

I love your new sigline, my wonderful friend. I just don't love what prompted you to create it!

[merh]

53. Hello sweetie.

Glad you like the new sig - it just seemed appropriate. I realized I am rather sensitive these days and somewhat unkept.

I just wanted folks to realize that if I lose it or get bitchy, it is not intentional, I am just preoccupied.

Love & support & hugs from you and other DUers help out more than you know.

[miss_kitty]

35. Woohoo thanks for sharing!

I haven't heard that joke-today



And the "More than a million right?" hook was simply INSPIRED!

[southlandshari]

50. I know! I can't believe no one else had shared this one yet!

I NEVER get to be the first one to tell a good joke!

[miss_kitty]

56. Well damn girl

you are one hell of a raconteur!!!

[southlandshari]

59. I think I love you, darlin'!

I'm not ashamed to admit, I had to look that one up, but when I did...zowie!




http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/archive/20...

raconteur \rack-on-TUR\, noun:
One who excels in telling stories and anecdotes.

An excellent raconteur, he had a varied stock of stories and enjoyed the joke just as much when it was on himself as he did when it was on some one else.
--"Rockefeller Wit Endeared Him to Friends; He Relished Quip by Will Rogers About Him," New York Times, May 24, 1937

Korda's tone of voice is affectionate and urbane, his manner that of the accomplished raconteur who never spoils the story with a heavy-handed moral, relying for his effect on the telling anecdote and the apt phrase.
--Lewis Lapham, "Adventures in the Book Trade," New York Times, May 23, 1999

He has an excellent raconteur's mind, memory, vocabulary and tongue, brings in a story just at the right time, in the right manner, serves his anecdotes perfectly either piping hot or ice-cold as tragedies.
--Anatole Pohorilenko and James Crump, When We Were Three

[Zomby Woof]

36. LOL!

Good joke! Otherwise, for tricking me like that, I was going to take away your moonpies.

(ESPN Classic replayed the TN-LSU game last night, so I watched the 4th quarter and OT all over again!)

[southlandshari]

52. My Moon Pies are still here, darlin'!

Sorry I missed that replay - jeez, that was a great game!

Big weekend in the SEC coming up!

[RebelOne]

41. No, no, not that joke again. It's been posted at least twice daily. n/t

[southlandshari]

54. Damn!

And I thought I posted it first!
























P.S. I knew it had been posted before once or twice.

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

43. I wrote that joke and I know in my heart I'm funny.

[southlandshari]

55. Not only are you funny...

but your copycat thread ("NOT a sex thread") was by far the best one of the morning.

Until this one, of course.

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

62. your making me blush with

guilt. okay, okay, I admit it--I didn't actually write that joke.

[southlandshari]

70. Thank you for your honesty.

Just for that - if there ever is video (as per your post downthread), you'll be first on the mailing list, ok?!

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

77. ooooo-yeah

[southlandshari]

78. Gasp! I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard!

That's your sigline, isn't it? That starts with "I WANT YOU!"?

Damn - I thought that was the rest of your reply, until I saw the image of Uncle Sam!

I found it a bit, um.....well, never mind. This thread is doing far too well for me to go there and then have to lock as a you-know-what!

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

80. that's it. i'm updating my sig line to something much simpler

(I'm not the Queen, by the way.)

[southlandshari]

83. Awwww...now my post doesn't make any sense!

And I STILL can hardly breathe from the laughing!

I just got excited when I read (in HUGE letters at the beginning of your post, pre-sigline change):

I WANT YOU!!!!

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

85. okay, hope this helps

note: by "you" I mean "southlandshari"
note: ignore the part about "TO DISSENT NOW"

[southlandshari]

87. Oh yeah, baby!

That helps A LOT!

[BReisen]

47. I lost it when I read this - thanks!

I first saw this when I was reading email in a meeting (against the meeting rules) and had to get up and leave because I couldn't keep the smirk off my face. (I immediately sent it to the guy sitting next to me, of course - he had the same problem!)

My favorite all time (at least currently) Bush joke. Thanks for bringing the smirk back to my face!

[southlandshari]

58. You are most welcome, BReisen!

And a belated welcome to DU!

Just don't go getting fired over us!

[In_The_Wind]

57. Please don't go - Please, please, oh please!

[southlandshari]

60. I'll stay, but only if...

you promise not to touch JimmyJazz ever again.

She's MINE!




On second thought, the three of us could...

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

63. link to video please

[In_The_Wind]

65. I promise

however - I must say - she is very nice to sleep with!












hmmm a ménage à trois gee - it's been so long since I've done that!

[RetroLounge]

64. How much?

RL

[southlandshari]

66. How much WHAT?

Do I really want to know the answer to that?

[RetroLounge]

68. No you do not!

RL

[Zomby Woof]

67. I want to add...

That I didn't even click the Brazil threads from yesterday, so THIS thread was the first time I saw the joke.

It pays to not bother opening most people's threads.

[southlandshari]

72. I know what you are doing, ZW

You are just responding again because you know I have that dysfunctionally polite gene that most Southern women are cursed with and that as a result, I feel compelled to respond to all of the replies to my original post on this thread. Thus moving me rapidly towards another congratulatory "milestones" thread that will again reveal to everyone my embarrassingly high post count, and causing far too many DUers to think "Why doesn't she just shut the fuck up every now and then?". Me included!

[Zomby Woof]

75. Actually...

I just wish there were more posts by you and less by some others.

[southlandshari]

76. Damn!

How can I continue to poke fun at you when you say sweet things like that?

Sigh. Ok, ok....I haven't trotted this one out in a LONG time, but for you, darlin':

[WCGreen]

69. Drama Queen..... And besides, isn't that a hair style

[southlandshari]

71. Regarding hair styles

I know nothing about the subject. As long as mine remains attached to my scalp, I'm pretty content.

There are other DU women - far nicer than me - who would be happy to expound on hair styles, though, if you have any questions, darlin'!

[WCGreen]

74. "The Twinsare always talkin' bout gettin' a brazillion..."

"Said it was a hair style or sumthin'" HeHe HE

[RevCheesehead]

81. Shari, my sister....put down the cookies.

PM me as soon as you can.. we need to set up some counseling time. In the meanwhile, I am praying for your soul.

Would you like some popcorn?

[southlandshari]

84. NO! Not you, too!

STOP with popcorn, you guys!

Let me put it this way:

[RevCheesehead]

89. OK, have some cheese instead.

[southlandshari]

90. Anything to erase this image from my tortured mind....

[RevCheesehead]

91. ....

[Maddy McCall]

92. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hi, shari!

I'm sorry that I haven't been attentive to PMs; I'm still cleaning up from Katrina and, at the same time, trying to help people who are here from Rita.

Kisses and big smooches.

[southlandshari]

100. Maddy!

Don't sweat the PMs - I'm just happy to see you!

[jane_pippin]

93. I wish I could recommend this thread a brazillion times.

[southlandshari]

101. Thanks!

This was a fun one!

[southlandshari]

94. As I said in my response to the very first reply in this thread...

Can anyone blame me for leaving?

Look - just look at what they are doing to me over here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

95. okay, enough with the popcorn jokes. I'm standing up for southlandshari

and I'm really mad. Watch out, 'cause I'm gonna let my face get red, and back her!
Wait, "red and......back her"?
Reddenbacker?
Orville...Reddenbacker?

[southlandshari]

96. Hmmmmm..

My first response to your reply was sheer joy at the possibility of SOMEONE finally taking up for me! I even had a fleeting fantasy of you and I that looked something like this:




Then I read it more carefully.

Sigh.

[Throckmorton]

98. OK, so this Duck walks into a bar with a moose, a 12 inch pianist,

and a set of jumper cables.

[southlandshari]

104. I'm fairly certain

I do not want to hear the rest of that one!

[Throckmorton]

132. you three clowns don't try and start anything in here

see, very g rated.

[katty]

99. friend sent this to me--too funny!

[southlandshari]

105. This turned out to be a funny thread, too.

It started out as a silly copycat of the brazillion other Brazillian joke threads in the Lounge this morning and just kind of evolved from there!

[WCGreen]

107. I thought you were leaving.......

[southlandshari]

109. I was. I mean I am. I mean...

Hey, wait a minute? What are you saying? Are you disappointed I'm still here?

[WCGreen]

110. Me, Nah.........

I don't get disappointed so easily....

[southlandshari]

112. I'll keep that in mind! n/t

[WCGreen]

115. Now if you really left....

That could cause some major disappointment...

[southlandshari]

118. Whew!

For a minute there, I thought you didn't like me anymore!

[WCGreen]

119. Not at all....

I just meant that it takes a lot to dissapoint me....

[donheld]

102. I love that

[southlandshari]

106. Hey!

Can you breathe? That's an awful lot of laughing at one time!

[buddysmellgood]

103. I'VE HEARD THAT ALREADY DAMN IT! NOW I'M LEAVING FOR GOOD

[southlandshari]

108. Wait for me!

[jobycom]

111. Fuck that! I'm laughing at you on DU for good!

Well for a while anyway.

[southlandshari]

113. Hey there!

I had my usual reaction to you showing up on a thread where I'm posting...

[jobycom]

114. Maybe I had my usual reaction to posting on you

I mean, on your thread.

[southlandshari]

116. Hmmmmm...

Care to elaborate on that reaction, darlin'?

[jobycom]

117. You kidding?

Do you have any idea how much I'm blushing for just saying THAT much!?

Though the reaction was uplifting. Spiritually, of course.

[southlandshari]

120. Oh my!

[WCGreen]

121. Locking Sex Thread

[jobycom]

122. What a dirty mind!

Humph.

[jobycom]

123. Wow, cute smoochie smilie!

Makes me all aquiver! (So does the moonpie!)

[southlandshari]

124. How about this one, darlin'?

[jobycom]

125. Makes me want it!

With a root beer float!

[southlandshari]

129. You want it?

You got it, darlin'!































The t-shirt, I mean. What? Anyone who thought otherwise needs to get their mind out of the gutter!

On second thought, check your PM inbox, jobycom!

[jobycom]

131. Checking

No PM moon pies!

[nickgutierrez]

126. That's a great joke.

Oh, and the * thing was pretty good, too.

[southlandshari]

127. Thanks!

I learned everything I know about silly message board humor from a true master!

[nickgutierrez]

128. I'm going to assume you mean me.

I could be wrong, though.

[southlandshari]

130. Duh!

Of course I meant you!

[giant_robot]

133. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Every republican I know is getting this one!

[entanglement]

134. And this joke has been posted a Brazillion times

[KamaAina]

135. King Dumbass: "There are blacks in Brazil, right?"

"So it doesn't really matter if they get killed, right, Mr. Cheney?"

[KitchenWitch]

136. Hi Shari

Don't go!!!!

[southlandshari]

137. I'm still here!

This was nothing but a silly copycat thread that unexpectedly grew legs and walked onto the Greatest Page in all its goofy glory!

How 'bout them badgers, darlin'?

[KitchenWitch]

139. Very happy about my Badgers!

[smbolisnch]

138. LOL